


Catch me (When I fall)

by hedamylexa29



Category: Leskru, The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: Badass Lexa, Clexa Endgame, Consensual Infidelity, Cop vs Gang, Eventual Sex, F/F, Lexa is sometimes a cute gentle bean, Oh also, Sassy Lexa, Slow Burn, Smut on later chapters, VERRY slow, also, just cool awesome fucking hot lexa, ps: the infidelity wont be between clarke and lexa, ther will be a shit load of sexual tension between those two, you better be patient
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-06-01 17:51:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 58,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6530020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedamylexa29/pseuds/hedamylexa29
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa has always been caught in the middle of unwanted conflicts, Since her father had left her with a legacy, a legacy she wished was just in the shape of money, but was much more than money could ever offer her. He left her with a duty, a promise, to get back what was once theirs from the people they were haunted by, the people who coldly murdered her parents right before her eyes.<br/>Lexa, on her journey, stumbles upon her own bumps, difficulties, pain, tears, and maybe, just maybe, an unexpected form of love?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

     She heard slow, fainting and heavy footsteps heading straight towards the black desk she was hidden under, holding her gun tight between her bruised and bloodied knuckles, her breathing was ragged and heavy, she was obviously nervous, thinking if there was any way out of this building, and she was trapped by strong, trained and suited criminals.

     Her gaze drifted to the windows searching for the reflection of her captors. The brunette didn’t know how she always manages to put herself in such questionable and complicated situations. _Always_ making rational decisions, like right now, Kane might just kill her one of these days, if he didn’t love and care for her that much, and the fact that he promised Daniel Woods, Lexa’s father, just adds up to it. Lexa is grateful anyway.

     Her eyes then wandered around the dusty destroyed space, _there must be a way_ , Lexa thought to herself. The echo of the footsteps was getting closer by each and every single passing second and her nervousness was beginning to show based on the few droplets of sweat escaping the top of her forehead right on the bordures of her hairline, wetting their way down her face, staining the side of her cheeks, dirty, rosy and flushed.

     Lexa closed her eyes shut for a second, contemplating a way to escape this current situation, so she held her gun tighter in both her hands and murmured a short, quiet prayer, although Lexa wasn’t a believer at all, she didn’t take God seriously, she didn’t trust him nor trust the fact God made better decisions and choices on her behalf, she believed she was the only one who could actually save her, she was _the only_ person she could trust with her own life. Lexa believed that people don’t trust others, only when one, they didn’t know them at all, or two, they actually did know what that person holds deep within his intentions. Lexa didn’t know God, so she felt it was unnecessary to hand him the power of directing her fate, she was going to get out of here and she was going to do it right _fucking_ now.

     So Lexa took a deep, long breath, opened her eyes and jerked away from the desk, lifting her body straight and pointing her gun skillfully towards the armed men, her aim seemed to be doing just fine and she had to thank Anya for all the practice and training. She shot the first man down directly in the middle of his forehead and watched his lifeless body connect itself to the ground then she quickly turned to her right and shot the other two men, one straight in the abdomen and the other took the flying bullet right into his chest.

     She quickly ran straight to the vast glass windows by the edge of the tall building, she took fast but still confident and calculated steps, she tucked her gun behind her back right inside her dirty black tight ripped jeans, Lexa tightened her hold the small box she was holding onto earlier, it was the reason she was here after all. She took another deep breath and jumped right into the window, her tired body colliding right into the glass by the side of her right shoulder bringing the windows shattering in what seemed like thousands or countless of pieces.

      “Wohoo!”; Lexa shouted at the top of her lungs, her eyes shut tightly at first, breaths of fresh air invading her chest. Lexa lived for moments like these, literally flying and the brunette wished she actually had wings, adrenaline pumping inside her veins, and spurring her excitement, she felt weightless but her body heavy with the pressure of chilling cold breeze, she felt free yet she knew this moment won’t last forever, that this moment like all others, will vanish and she has to face the harsh reality that had been haunting her for ages, Lexa felt everything and nothing at the same time. The green eyed girl’s thoughts were suddenly interrupted as her limb body collided with a harsh cold surface, rolling for few rounds to bump into another cold but a slightly softer space, she winced as she felt her bones sting with pain and her whole senses went into overdrive.

       Before Lexa could even open her weary eyes to inspect her surroundings, a strong sound invaded her ears, a sound that, the brunette, thought belonged to a some kind of engine. After all, her ears were still annoyingly beeping. Then Lexa heard another sound, a voice, the voice that always made her feel safe and protected, and a voice that was always present whenever she dug herself into these kinds of unfortunate situations.       

“Lexa! Are you fucking crazy? The fuck were you thinking?!”

Lexa recognized the voice as Anya’s, She stood back on her feet, clutching her sore shoulder with her right hand then wiped the metallic taste of blood off her lower lip with the ruined sleeve of her favorite green bomber jacket. _Great, just fucking great, this was limited edition_ , the brunette sighed to herself, huffing a long prolonged breath while limping towards the front of the helicopter.

      “Nice to see you alive too Anya”; Lexa commented sarcastically then threw her body straight onto the seat that was next Anya.

      “Did you get the box?”; Anya questioned, her gaze not leaving Lexa, scanning her body and the bruises that Lexa never seemed to take seriously, _Ever_. Her face was a _fucking_ mess, her lower lip was cut, her eyes both swollen, she couple of cuts on her right cheekbone, _damn_.

    “Right here”; Lexa held the little black leather box in her left hand up to face Anya’s features, a wide proud grin painted her bruised chapped lips.

    “Good, Kane is waiting. And he’s mad at you kid, like really fucking mad”; Anya warned the brunette; Lexa gazed right back, obviously not liking where this conversation was going. She just hates being scolded, and for what really? She still did the job. _They’re so dramatic_.

     “We almost lost you back there Lex. Don’t take your life for granted”; Anya continued.

     “Listen, I’ve got him the goddamn box so he can hop off my fucking back for a second alright? And I was trying to survive, you know? That thing people do when they are on the verge of being freaking killed, you know, when you’re trying to stay alive and…”; Lexa bit back but soon got interrupted;

“Geez okay asshole, calm your tits, spare me the attitude”.

       The green eyed young lady rolled her eyes, sinking into her seat, glaring at anything off the black tainted windows, anything other than Anya’s face. You see, Lexa knew Anya and Kane were just worried about her safety, they were the most important people in her life, for now, and they were and still are there by her side at every bad turn. She appreciated it, really, but felt slightly trapped and suffocated with all this heavy pressure.

    She finally took a deep breath, grateful that she’s still alive indeed, and she has only herself, and her teammates, to thank for that.

____

 

 

      Clarke was on her way to the BPD (Boston Police Department); she was currently pushing through the crowds on the sidewalk, holding her hot cup of Starbucks coffee, her favorite coffee.

      Clarke Griffin was a humble twenty five year old detective, she fought for her place, and she earned the respect she now got from all her coworkers, literally, all of them. Nothing was handed to the blond on a silver platter, she had to work day and night to become the person she is right now, and she is absolutely satisfied with where she got herself to be.  

     In the middle of hustling and pushing through the crowds of workers and kids and dogs and what seemed like an endless cycle of creatures, Clarke felt her phone buzz inside the right pocket of her light blue leather jacket; she reached her free hand inside and held the phone up in between her left ear and shoulder, struggling with the coffee and the bag of muffins.

     “What’s up Bell? You realize it’s just 7 am, my brain is barely functioning, right?” Clarke said pushing her way between the busy people occupying the sidewalk to get to her car, a grey boring Sidan, the blond thought but it was all she could afford, at least for now.

     “Sorry princess, Jaha wants you back in the station right now, something happened again”, Bellamy said letting out a small chuckle once he finished his statement.

     Bellamy was one of Clarke’s best friends, and him calling her Princess actually has an ironic background story. See, the blonde didn’t really like Bellamy at first, neither did he for that matter, her mother, Dr. Abby Griffin, was one of Chief’s Jaha closest friends, so he always thought that Clarke was younger than to actually earn a place at the station in such a brief span of time. But once they got closer and after he had the time to actually know who Clarke really was, as her own person, not just a reflection to her mother’s position, he immediately warmed up to the blue eyed blond.

Clarke quickly opening the door to her car, sliding into her driver’s seat and dropping her coffee and muffin bag on top of the cupboard, settling in and buckling herself then finally holding up her phone to the other side, she let out a sigh and finally replied;

“Let me guess, The Commander fucked some shit up, again!”

“Yep, she turned the John Hancock Tower into ruins mate, two diamonds worth 6 million Dollars just vanished, 8 men were shot dead while 3 survived brutal beating, I swear this bitch is so extra”, _no shit,_ Clarke thought;

“I’m on my way, be there in ten!” she hang up and started driving to the police station.

____

 

The blonde pushed through the double gated doors of the police station, still holding her now very cold coffee and half eaten muffins, greeting some of her coworkers then heading straight to the desk her partner was occupying.

“Okay Bell what do we have this time? Any pictures, surveillance videos, traces that might lead us to her, please, anything?”.

“Nothing, a helicopter was spotted roaming around the building few minutes before the police got there though, we assume she had a pretty cool lift?”, Bellamy joked, hopelessly trying to lighten up the mood, their job never was easy, nothing was guaranteed, they weren’t safe. _They didn’t feel safe_.

“Jesus Christ this bitch! Ugh”.

      Clarke let out a very frustrated groan, _why does this bitch have to be so difficult?_ The blond never hated a criminal like she hated the oh so called _Commander_ , although she never encountered the outlaw, she had some shallow information about said girl plastered in the form of files, very few files. She knew the girl was barely twenty four years old, orphan, no family background whatsoever, and that she was ridiculously smart and sassy and cocky and infuriating and..

      “Here!” Bellamy handed her what seemed like a blurry picture probably taken by the cameras on the building, “This is her Clarke, it’s Lexa”.

       To say Clarke was speechless would be kind of unexpressive, she was baffled and startled, she couldn’t decipher much in that particular picture but _okay what the fuck? Are those ripped jeans and black converse and a fucking bomber jacket?_ _How old is she? Eighteen?_

“I’ll keep this with me, I’ll head to the chief’s office now and once I get back we can be free to go inspect the crime scene, enjoy the muffins”.

        Clarke jolted towards the office with one thought swimming around her head, a thought that never left it in the first place, _I’m gonna get you. I’m gonna fucking get to you one day_.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is taking a small step towards her fate, something that's forever going to change her life; of course without being aware of it, when did fate ever ask anyone permission to paint someone's life?

“Your face looks like a broken can of coke kid” Lincoln said wiping Lexa’s bloody face, something he got used to do every single time after a mission got executed.

Lexa let out a quiet chuckle for her friend’s antics, and whom she considered as a not funny person at all but still managed to get her to laugh every once and then.

The brunette got introduced to Lincoln when she was around the age of fourteen, he has been part of her new family since then, the green eyed girl might have lost her parents but instantly got compensated with others, four other people who cared deeply for her safety and wellbeing, four people whom she found solace and reassurance with, she found home in each and every single one of them.

Kane was the perfect representation of a good, protective father for Lexa, he always managed to be around at her weakest moments, although she didn’t allow herself to have many of those said moments, she didn’t know how she got to rely on people and love them despite her unwillingness to do so with everyone. She wasn’t the most expressive person, she didn’t and still doesn’t know how to show affection or even emotion for that matter, she simply thought that love was weakness, that love holds you back and can be the worst thing to interfere with the process of surviving and she really, really needed to survive.

She kind of understood why people were so afraid of love, why _she_ was so afraid of love. Afraid to open your being to someone and therefor give them the power to destroy you completely, she wasn’t ready, not with all the shit that has been going on in her life for the many past years of her existence. For her, it was all a defensive plan to be and stay safe and alive, Lexa thought, no she believed, that feelings would just cloud her judgments and decision making, that they would just slow her down, drag her down to the pits of weakness and into the dark shadows of numbness and stupidity, and she didn’t need that, no one did.

“Woah, aren’t you the sweetest.”

Lincoln snorted, he didn’t know how Lexa managed to be this sarcastic and sassy after having to endure her job, she was extremely strong yet he saw her as the most gentle and fragile little person he ever had to encounter. He gently wiped the cut on her lower lip for few more seconds just to make sure it was perfectly clean, “Here you go, all good and pretty” he then let go of the Lex’s chin and continued still with a large grin plastered on his chapped lips;

“Kane expects you in his office room now by the way, and please try not to press his buttons you know he just worries about you right? We all do kid”

“Okay first will y’all stop calling me a fucking kid, and second I think I know how to handle Kane by now Jesus fucking Christ” Lexa bit back rolling her eyes.

“Chill Commander! Better?” The muscular man had a sarcastic playful smirk painted on his hard strong features, while Lexa couldn’t seem to stop rolling her eyes anymore; she threw her feet down on the floor and headed straight to her destination, Kane’s office.

 

\------

 

Kane was looking out of the glass windows of his office a couple floors up in his mansion; he felt the smoke burn deep on the surface of his lungs, smoke clouds surrounding him up above his head.

 _Knock knock_.

“Come in.” he said turning his head slightly to the right his face still facing the view painted outside his office window.

Lexa pushed the door open, shyly poking her head inside before entering and calmly closing the door again.

“Before you go ahead and judge me on how I handled our mission, I want you to put yourself in my shoes for just a few seconds, there was no way I could get out of there alive if I haven’t killed those guys, they were going to kill me Kane I’m-”

“Enough!” the old man abruptly turned his whole silhouette to finally face Lexa, and God was his look scary, intimidating, but still has a glow of love and care buried deep within its walls. The only thing Kane wanted was for Lexa to be safe, Lexa needed to be safe and alive, he promised, he loves her.

“Now why don’t you put yourself in my shoes kid? Why don’t you understand how worried I was, how I counted every single second impatiently for you to get the hell out of there? I don’t care about the box, as long as you’re safe, I don’t care about anything else” Kane declared, looking straight through the brunette’s green eyes;

Lexa’s eyes blinked for few seconds, mouth ajar, she was clearly astonished, while she knew Kane cared for her, she still never assumed he cared _this much_.

“Please, I’m just asking you to not risk your own life for something as temporary as a box.”

“O-okay, yeah, I-..I mean sure, I’m sorry, this will never happen again, I’ll personally make sure it won’t.”

“You’re dismissed!” the man coldly ordered, disconnecting his gaze from Lexa’s and heading back to his desk. There it was again, back to his cold stoic demeanor.

Lexa turned on her heals heading to the door and leaving Kane behind, _maybe he needs time to calm down_ , she thought, but rather hoped.

___

 

Clarke and Bellamy paced through the entry of the building both holding their badges along with a team of investigators and analysts. The blond detective pulled her loose hair into a tight bun before she was handed another file. She then started to inspect the content while walking towards the elevators and listening to the assistant explain;

“The person in the first picture is called Anya, ex militant who ran away from service few years ago in Afghanistan, thirty year old female, no professional or family background, no bank accounts, no nothing”

They all got inside the elevator and Bellamy tapped on the twenty second’s floor button, while the girl added;

“The second subject is Lincoln, we don’t have anything about him sadly, well nothing but the fact he’s bald” the young woman let out a soft light chuckle at her own joke and looked up to the others waiting for a reaction, but none came along, so she cleared her throat and shook her head lightly as if trying to scold herself for being this awkward;

“Anyway, this is about it, the guys we got to talk to in the hospital wouldn’t give away any other information.” The girl finished.

Clarke closed the file and handed it back to her, she let out a frustrated breath, this was always a closed circle for the young detective, always back to the starting point, with nothing but disposable information about those people, who seemed to be getting smarter and more organized every passing day.

“Seriously? Nothing? What am I possibly gonna do with these?” Clarke questioned motioning to the girl with the file hovering around in her face, then continued “What about Lexa, Harper?” Her voice cracked as she addressed the brunette; after all she wasn’t there for those delinquents she was there for the Commander, she needed to have something on the outlaw, _anything_ that could help her get a little step closer to the girl. They all stepped out the elevator suddenly hit by the smell of sweat and blood and dust, this place was in ruins, broken metal chairs, computers and desks scattered on the floor, broken windows and glass spread through the floors, Clarke and Bellamy stared at each other in disbelief, their gazes quickly interrupted;

“She doesn’t leave any evidence behind, Clarke, she just takes whatever the hell she wants and vanishes in thin air leaving us a mess to analyze behind, no fingerprints, nothing on the surveillance videos, nothing but this.” Harper suddenly handed her a black plastic card with a sharp well printed infinity sign on the surface, _not this again_ , Clarke thought to herself while taking the card from the brunettes shaking hands and then handed it to Bellamy so he could take another look on his turn;

“Are we collecting those now?” Bellamy said with a gentle grin looking straight towards Clarke, who was already heading towards the broken window and kicking the pieces of broken glass around and looking down through said windows;

“How could anyone survive a fall from here? That’s impossible” The blond stated in shock.

“The helicopter, Clarke!”

“Right, yeah. Anyway, let’s get outa here there’s nothing to do, you guys do what you have to do while the others speak to those who are hospitalized, Harper please keep me updated I’ll be in the station up until 8 pm.”

“Alright sure.”

___

Lexa stepped inside her room then gently kicked her door closed behind her, she averted her gaze towards the window seat where she found Anya sitting legs bent up and looking out at the view outside, all crashing waves into strong hard rock shores, it was Lexa’s favourite view ever.

“You need to stop sneaking into my room every time you feel like it!” The brunette sarcastically warned her teammate while she plopped her tired body on top of her mattress, she kicked her boots off and let out a relieved sigh, _much better_ , she thought.

“How’s your shoulder?” Anya ignored Lexa’s previous Remarque and questioned without averting her gaze from the large window.

“It’s okay, mom” The green eyed girl bit back rolling her eyes then continued looking straight up at the ceiling which seemed far more interesting then arguing with Anya, Lexa appreciated the worrisome and the caring, but one thing Lexa did not appreciate was being treated like a child still, she believed herself to be worthy of trust, that they could all rely on her to keep track with everything, that she wasn’t some spoiled kid who needed supervision, Lexa was capable of taking care of herself and her people. Yes she was burdened with all her father’s mess, she needed to avenge him and her mother, those people were going to pay, every single one of them was going to pay the price for Lexa’s agony.

“You think you’re funny Commander huh?” Anya lifted herself from the place she was occupying and headed to the foot of Lexa’s bed, she then bent down on her knees and started gently pulling off the brunette’s socks, “If anyone knew Heda wore squid socks-“

“No one will!” Lexa abruptly lifted her upper body on her elbows and straight glared at Anya, the older woman painted a beautiful genuine smile on her face still holding Lexa’s feet in her hand then slowly massaging the girl’s ankles and hearing the brunette sighing. Anya always knew what to do to calm the girl’s reeling mind, she understood what pressure was Lexa put under, she promised herself to protect this child at all costs, even those being considered her own life, she would sacrifice everything she has got if that meant Lexa was safely living the life she’d always dreamt of living, Anya slowly let the smile on her face gain more intensity, the thought of a seven year old Lexa plopped down on her lap, always endearing.

_“Anya! Do you know what these stars are called? They look really pretty, and shiny, and bright and-“_

_“Okay little one, got it” Anya turned Lexa in her lap so she could face her, she brushed a loose stand of brown rebel hair behind her left ear and laid the softest kiss on the child’s forehead, staring at Lexa’s bright green eyes, Anya saw hope, she saw love and non-ending amount of affection and gentleness, she saw ambition and strength and determination, she smiled and pointed her pointer finger towards the dark blue night skies, Lexa following her finger with a look of curiosity, the older woman then said to the giggling girl as she accidently brushed her palms against her ribs, Lexa was really ticklish there._

_“That’s Aries, the ram; it’s a constellation of stars visible from earth that appear in what the Greeks thought to be the shape of a ram's head. It all comes from the story of Jason and the Argonauts, whose main quest was to find the golden fleece of Aries the Ram in order to prove himself to be the rightful king of Iolcos in Thessaly.” Anya threw another look towards the young girl occupying her lap and continued on with her story now quietly whispering in the brunette’s ear;_  
  
“The god Ares was most often shown as a dog or vulture when in animal form, though one of his more famous exploits involved him turning into the shape of a boar to kill the beautiful Adonis, who was in love with Ares' lover, Aphrodite-“

_And of course Lexa was now sound asleep after what? Two short minutes. Anya slowly and carefully turned Lexa between her arms and held her tight into her chest, she needed to protect her from the cold breeze still brushing her flushed warm cheeks. Lexa hated to be cold, so Anya kept her warm._

 

“Of course Heda.” Anya came back from her wandering thoughts and long lost memories, she missed Lexa, the younger version of Lexa, the pure innocent child who wanted to be a God, Anya already Believes Lexa was, in fact, her own God.

The older woman lifted herself off the floor back into her feet; and threw a small card at the green eyed girl in front of her;

“We need to be in this address later this evening; we have to trade the diamonds.”

Lexa scanned the small piece and rolled it between her long fingers, they were still wounded, Anya noted.

“A night club? Really?”

“Ask Kane I’m just delivering  the news. Anyway I have to go get ready, you should get ready too, you look like- you know what? I don’t care just show up exactly 8.30 pm at this club Commander” Then Anya was out of Lexa’s room in a heart beat. The brunette let out a groan and collapsed back on her back and into her bed. _Here we go again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooo? Yay or nay? I'm still open for discussion if any of you huys have any questions or ideas for this fic, any charachters you want here? how do you want them to be involved and on which part, Lexa or Clarke's life? Message me on my tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/fforever-alonee  
> Or @ me on twitter: @JauresexualHeda  
> Thank you for reading xoxo


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things begin to take an interesting turn for both Lexa and Clarke and fate works its nets once again

Clarke was mindlessly looking for evidence between the few files scattered on top of the surface of her desk, which was occupied by two cups of unfinished cold coffee and a half eaten cheese burger. She was desperately waiting and hoping for the so famous Commander to slip one of these days and leave something of worth behind them, but Clarke knew they were smarter than that, she knew her journey to lay hands on the outlaw was going to be long, exhausting and a hell of a lot stressful. 

The blonde still holding the two pictures in her hands, one of the person names Lincoln and the other was of the one named Anya, surprisingly the candid taken of both these people looked somewhat… _Ordinary_ , and for Clarke, delinquents weren’t supposed to look like this when being off guard, Lincoln was struggling with many paper bags Clarke thought were ones of grocery, his car keys trapped between his white perfect shaped teeth, while holding the car back door open with his booted left foot, he looked like any other dreamy cute guy out there really.

While Anya was caught sitting peacefully in a coffee Clarke have been talked that the woman usually frequented every morning from 6 am to around 7.30 am. The woman was holding a book in her right hand, while sipping on her coffee in the other, “ _Lolita_ ” read the title, Clarke couldn’t forget a time where she hasn’t found the opportunity to reread that novel, sure it had some kind of controversy floating around it, the writer, Vlademir Nabokov, was seemingly much, very much older than his lover whom was only a child, but Clarke was always fascinated and allured by the way Nabokov described Lolita. _Anyway_ , Clarke pulled herself away from her unnecessary thoughts.

“What are you still doing here Clarke? It’s late, go home!” The blonde was soon interrupted by her colleague, Raven. She looked up, tearing her eyes from the files and looking up to the intruder, she caught sight of the woman leaning her right side on the door frame of Clarke’s dimly lit office, Clarke gave away the illusion of a forced smile, she was tired and no one would blame her for showing some light attitude.

“I’m trying to find something, but nothing important came out and it’s been over a year” Clarke then let out a frustrated groan and leant back into her leather chair throwing her head on the top of its back and closing her eyes. She rubbed her temple and squeezed her eyes shut hoping for some relief, everything in her body was painfully pounding and aching out of tiresome, desperation and frustration.

“Don’t beat yourself out over it, you know these guys are organized, we’re gonna get them one of these days, patience!” Raven’s attempt of comfort came out soothing and Clarke thought the girl was pretty sweet for being this optimistic about something as hard as catching the Commander. Clarke still appreciates it though. 

She lifted her head and genuinely smiled at the Latina, “You know what? You’re right, and I really need a drink” Clarke said standing from her seat and gathering the files back into her desk drawer, she reached her leather jacket and threw it over her shoulder taking few steps towards Raven while picking her car keys from the coffee table. Clarke didn’t believe Raven was right for a second, Clarke thought she, no, they weren’t doing enough, they were surely missing something, and something Clarke was willing to spend the rest of her days and every bit of effort to find.

“Octavia is waiting for us at Polis by the way, girl is already wasted enough to send me blurry and really confusing snapchats already” Both girls chuckled at their friend’s lightness. Octavia Blake was Bellamy’s sister, she was so much different than he was the blonde assumed, Octavia was a wild party girl who really enjoyed everyone’s company including strangers’. She was the gentle light warming everyone’s life, pulling them into a whole new world and painting them with colorful rays.

Clarke held Raven’s elbow with her right hand and lead them to the exit murmuring a quiet _‘let’s go’._

__

 

Anya knocked on the familiar wooden door of Kane’s chamber, after briefly waiting for a response for few seconds the door sprung open and she was face to face with her boss, her father figure. The man then turned around into his room leaving the door open, a silent invite for Anya to step in.

“Lexa is getting ready, we’re leaving in an hour with the diamonds” Anya paused and took a seat on the single couch near the bed, her gaze following Kane’s movements around the room before she continued, “We agreed with the Queens to meet in the local bar, Polis, it’s always quiet over there, they promised us the files in exchange for the diamonds”

“I see.” Kane quietly murmured while he stood in front of his mirror buttoning his shirt but struggling with his tie still. Anya smiled. _How did a man like Kane find it troublesome to fix a simple tie?_ she lifted herself up off the couch and took slow steps until she was facing the old man;

“May I?” Anya offered and Kane nodded lowering his gaze to his feet. She then started to fix his black clean tie and said;

“I know how much you’re worried about Lexa, we all are. But she’s a big girl now, trust her!” 

“I do trust her; it’s the other people we’re dealing with that I don’t trust Anya.” Kane spoke with a firm commanding tone.

“I’m here to make sure nothing will harm her Kane, you and Lincoln too, Lexa knows we’re here when she needs us, she just needs to feel that you trust her Kane, please”

“Okay.” It was quiet, Kane sounded defeated, and Anya’s heart ached for the sight. She knew Lexa was Kane’s only soft spot, hell she was theirs too. She smiled and soothed the man’s soft beard with a gentle caress of her cold hands then headed back to see if Lexa was ready.

___

 

Lexa stepped out of the shower situated inside of her room, wrapped inside a black cotton towel, her hair wet and droplets of warm water still dropping on her shoulders and back. She headed, barefoot, to her closet and opened the door to have access to her clean clothes to be finally able to choose something casual and comfortable for their meeting yet still fitting of the occasion; she didn’t want to look like a teenager if she hoped to be treated as an adult and to be taken seriously. 

She drew out white button up loose blouse, her favorite pair of black leather tight pants and a red bomber jacket all sealed with brown ankle combat boots. _Perfect_ , the young woman smiled at herself satisfied with her choice of outfit. Tonight she was meeting Roan and Ontari Queen, representing their mother and boss Nia Queen. Lexa didn’t like them, again, when did Lexa ever like anyone for that matter, but Roan and Ontari had too much self-confidence to be called just that, they thought too highly of themselves and too little of practically everyone else that’s not them, they treated everyone, including Lexa as inferiors, and Lexa wasn’t the person to accept to be treaed as anything other than what she is, relevant.

The green eyed girl started blow-drying her long brown curls, watching the shades of colors soften and turn into a new shade of honey brown, she was a big fan of her hair; Lexa couldn’t remember the last time a scissor connected to it. She then proceeded into fitting her upper body into a black bra and a tank top before slipping her leather pants up her long thin legs and tucking them inside, she stood facing the mirror and got face with what Lexa likes to call, battle wounds, different shades of green, purple and swollen red decorated shoulders flowing down to her ribs. Bruises that remind Lexa every single day of who she is, _a fighter, a survivor_.

She tore away her eyes from said wounds averting them until they landed on the white blouse, she picked the item up and slid her arms inside buttoning it up then wore her boots before slipping her bomber jacket on and sliding out of the door of her room, turning the lights off. She was suddenly faced with Anya.

“Good, you’re ready” Anya declared scanning the young woman’s body and then continued with a little sly smirk, “And looking hella nice Commander!”

Lexa smiled still attempting not to roll her eyes at the older woman.

“Let’s get this over with Anya, you can comment on my appearance once we’re at the presence of some girls in the bar, you might come quite handy then” Lexa amusingly addressed the tan woman heading for the stairs to get to their SUV.

Anya just smiled at the girl jogging down the stairs like a fifteen year old; she shook her head, _some things never change I guess,_ Anya thought to herself following Lexa’s steps.

__

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Clarke! Here!” Raven and Clarke heard the familiar slurred voice of their friend Octavia calling, she was currently standing on a table in the middle of the bar, holding a bottle of beer, Clarke chuckled and headed to her friend taking her free hand to help the girl down, she didn’t want them to be kicked out of the bar, they just got there and Clarke wasn’t leaving without getting herself wasted first.

“How many beers did you down exactly? More importantly, are you here alone?” Raven stepped in from behind the blonde, her tone a worried and caring soft one.

“I lost count Rae” Octavia paused and rolled her green eyes then continued but diverting her gaze towards Clarke,

“Finally tired of working 24/7? Do yourself a favor and ask the bartender for their special tonight, so fucking good”

“Raven watch her please, I’ll be back with some drinks.” Clarke stepped out from between her friends and taking few steps to stand at the other side of the bar, the bartender turned around to take her order.

“Hey Jasper!” Clarke turned to his coworker and continued, “Monty.” The blue eyed girl bowed her head and asked;

“So Octavia been talking good stuff about tonight’s special shots, how about you hand me two for now?”

Jasper let a smile creep into his features, bringing two shot cups on the counter and spilling the drinks inside, “Of course”.

Clarke slammed a twenty dollar bill on the clean surface and took her order and turned around heading back to the girls waiting for her at the table near the end of the crowded space. But her drinks soon connected to the polished wooden ground with a loud thud, after spilling right into the stranger’s chest, Clarke winced and prepared herself to scold the stranger for not paying enough attention but her mouth hung open at the sight before her; blue eyes connected with forest green ones, different shades of green and yellow, _was that blue or gray?_ Clarke wondered silently, still extremely distracted and found herself thinking about all kinds of paint one could use to get the shade of colors of this person’s eyes. _Beautiful, so beautiful._

Clarke blinked at the long fingers waving right in front of her face,

“Excuse me! Are you alright? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to run into you, I wasn’t paying much attention where I was going.”

 _Woah_ it was a girl, a really beautiful girl and Clarke was now thinking if there were any other, more intense words she could use to describe this woman’s features, plump dark and slightly chapped lips were moving on their own record and the blonde found herself drifting off again, hard cheekbones and jaw that could cut a bitch but Clarke didn’t fail to notice the purple cut laying under it. She finally and miraculously decided to collect herself and stop acting like she never saw this much beauty and art in someone’s face before, although Clarke Knew she never did.

“U-um... It’s alright, I-“Clarke started before being interrupted by the same tender and raspy voice, _did I just fucking stutter?_ Clarke almost face palmed herself.

“Please, let me buy you another drink. I insist” The girl then chuckled and Clarke almost fell straight down onto the ground, what a sweet little voice, what a gentle laugh this girl has, how could anyone have it all, how dare this girl have this face and these eyes and those rosy flushed cheeks and this delicate voice? How dare she fluster Clarke and turn her into this pathetic sight?

“O-okay, yeah, sure” Clarke stuttered her words again, swallowing thickly and trying to look at anything other than the girl’s face, Clarke felt embarrassed.

The mysterious girl stepped around the blond and asked Jasper for couple of drinks and talked to the guy about something Clarke couldn’t quite decipher, the bar was loud with people chatting and music blaring from all its corners.

“Here you go beautiful.” The girl was suddenly facing the blonde again, handing her two shots and blinding her vision with a perfect white toothy smile, _please stop!_ Clarke silently pleaded the stranger. _Wait go back! Did she just call me-_

“Have fun tonight” And then it was over, the girl disappeared from Clarke’s gaze and swam through the crowds along with a guy and two women into what seemed a private corner.

“Hey! Clarke! What happened to those shots?” Raven called from the table still holding Octavia by her waist.

“Coming!” The blonde took few steps to join her friends and handed Raven her drink, “What about me?” Octavia said with an adorable pout.

“I think you’ve had enough O!” Raven said with raised eyebrows and an apologetic smile lying on her soft features. Clarke enjoyed watching the pair interact, Raven was always extremely protective of their mutual girl friend, always taking care of Octavia and listening to her boy stories even though the disinterest was always present and obvious on her face.

Clarke then dared a look into Octavia’s direction and saw the girl’s eyes barely open, and she sighed;

“Raven, let’s finish the drinks and head home, Octavia is looking like she’s gonna pass out in few sec-“

Octavia abruptly fell into Raven’s embrace, “Right! Let’s go, let me just say bye to the boys over there I’ll meet you by the car”

“Okay.”

__

 

“Hey Jasper, thanks for the drink it was awesome” Clarke paused before she continued addressing the slim boy, “Oh and sorry for the mess”, she smiled apologetically  and waved for Monty, but before the blonde could turn on her heals and head out to join her friends she heard a phrase, she rather heard a nickname she had never imagined hearing it outside of her work environment, a nickname Clarke kept murmuring to herself every now and then, challenging herself to do better, Clarke froze and swallowed thickly hearing the unmistakable sound escaping Jasper’s lips say;

“Four shots for **_the Commander_** on the VIP section! Monty hurry up!” 

 _Fuck_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are important for motivation so please grant some if you want this story to stay alive guys ily xoxo


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa stumbles upon her first bump.  
>  And, well, her and Clarke's second interraction doesn't go as smoothely as their first.

This feeling, this warmth enveloping Lexa’s heart right now, she hasn’t felt this kind of tingling under her skin in what the girl considers a really long period of time, she immediately recalled how much she hated to be cold once she felt this warm again, and the reason being a flustered stuttering blonde made Lexa question everything she believed she couldn’t feel.

She couldn’t help but surrender her features into a genuine toothy grin at the adorable sight taking place in front of her beaming eyes, her cheeks hurt from smiling for God’s sake, and that rarely happens to the brunette, the only pain she experiences being one of hard fists colliding with her face, leaving behind their marks to make sure that Lexa would never forget what life was she part of, if you even could call it a life at all.

Lexa suddenly felt overwhelmed with all the emotions invading her chest down to her stomach, it was a mixture of everything one could feel, a contradiction Lexa never thought could encounter, her face felt so warm, the brunette feared the evidence shall paint itself on her cheeks and change the pale shade of colour into a rosy one, but her hands felt so cold, craving to be tucked and held in between warm knuckles. 

She was tired, weary and exhausted but Lexa wanted nothing but walk into oblivion, without purpose or destination, uncertain and thoughtless, she wanted to stay but she had this urge to grow wings and take off flying away on top of grey clouds and collide with thunder storms and electrify every nerve and atom that structured her being.  
Yes, very overwhelming indeed.

This blonde. This girl made Lexa feel everything she hadn’t felt in years, everything the brunette made herself immune to. 

Warmth.

Nervousness.

Giddiness.

Frustration. But more importantly Lexa felt Weakness.

“Already scoring bimbos Commander?” Lexa was ripped out of the rollercoaster of her thoughts, she felt dizzy and thankful. She turned to Anya with the two siblings they were accompanied by;

“Someone I had to buy another round to, nothing important. The drinks will be here in a minute.” Oh but Lexa was well aware of her lie. It was important, since it evoked in Lexa what Lexa herself thought couldn’t be evoked ever again.

“Okay then, let us head to our table”.

Lexa and Anya exchanged a short lived look and stepped before the Queen siblings guiding them to their usual spot.

“Do you have the diamonds, Lexa?” Roan spoke first, his arrogance showing up all over his tone.

“Do you have the files your mommy promised, Roan?” Lexa immediately bit back bitterly.

Anya interrupted the exchange of words, afraid Lexa would say something that would make all what they worked so hard to achieve disappear in a beat of few seconds.

“Lexa!” The woman warned; Then continued, “Listen! We have your shit right here in my pocket, if you wanna take a look at it then you have to give me a copy of the files we were promised so I could give them a read and get on with our day! Peacefully”

Roan looked suddenly defeated, he then glanced towards Ontari and the girl nodded. He pulled out a thick file out of a black leather case and settled it on top of the table, “Here you go.” He barely whispered, then soon added, “The diamonds please.”

Anya turned her head to her left and nodded at Lexa; the green eyed girl dipped her hand inside the left pocket of her bomber jacket and pulled out a little black box watching the Queen Siblings share a look and what seemed like a greedy smile.

Roan stretched his right arm to reach the box in Lexa’s hand while Anya took the file into her hold and wore her reading glasses to begin studying the content.  
__

Clarke held her breath while dialling Raven’s number; she waited for her friend to pick up tapping her right foot on the wooden floors of the bar and ordered herself another drink.

“What’s up Clarke? Where are you?” Raven’s voice questioned right after she answered to her colleague’s call.

“Listen, Raven! I have something to do here, you guys can take my car and head home” Clarke paused then continued after a moment, “Also, don’t wait for me, it might take me some time to come back home alright? Bye! Drive safely!”

“But Clar-“ The blonde didn’t bother to hear Raven’s protests right now, The Commander was here and she was going to finally put an end to all of her tremors. She downed the shot in one big gulp and turned to Jasper;

“Hey, Jasper!”

“Clarke?! Still here? Where’s Raven and O?” The boy asked with a matching confused look and thick furrowed eyebrows.

“Raven had to take Octavia home, she had too much and I have you to blame on that by the way” The blonde warned amusingly. But soon got to the most important statement, or question.

“How about you show me to the VIP section? I feel like spoiling my tired ass tonight. What do you say?”

“Sure thing! But make sure you have enough money on you detective, you sure don’t wanna take Monty’s side job as a dish washer.” Jasper chuckled satisfied with his own sense of humour, so did Clarke.

“Follow me!” The boy then demanded, stepping around to the outer side of the bar, wiping his hands on the white apron and guiding Clarke to a hopefully empty single table, which he eventually caught sight of. He motioned for Clarke to have a seat on the fluffy couch and took another order before heading to the table right on her left side, but the occupied table was covered by a tainted glass wall and the figures were pretty much blurry.

The blonde took off her blue leather jacket and laid it by her side, sipping at her drink.

What was she doing here without back-up or support; she didn’t even have her gun with her. Clarke thought of the many ways she shall confront The Commander; of ways she could arrest her and pin her hands behind her back, smiling victoriously. She imagined all the hard work they’ve done at the station, all the sleepless nights and the countless cups of coffee.

She thought about all the money spent on office snacks, money that could have been used much more wisely and with greater purpose.

Of course catching the Commander wasn’t going to bring along world peace, but still, it would make a huge difference, her efforts were finally going to be paid some worthy credit her efforts weren’t fruitless anymore, they were going to pay off and Clarke will go home a hero tonight.

__

Lexa and Anya were pretty much busy with reading the content of the files presented before them, the brunette hoped they contained exactly what Kane was looking for, evidence. Lexa’s father was accused and blamed about a shit load of felonies, bribery, treason, money laundering, you fucking name it. And it was all up to Lexa to prove everyone wrong and avenge the unworthy death of her parents. 

The green eyed girl cringed internally at the unwelcomed memory now swimming through her mind, she clenched her jaw and looked at Anya, hoping for good news, while Roan and Ontari just sat there busying themselves with whatever they were doing on the phone.

“This doesn’t help with anything!” Anya growled at the siblings and both her fists connecting angrily to the surface of the glass table. Lexa’s neck cracked on its way up, mouth ajar with confused features looking between Anya and the Queen Siblings.

“This is what we have! Take it or leave it.” Ontari spoke for the first time that evening.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Lexa shot up from her seat and her palm collided with the top of the table too, “We got you the damn precious diamonds the least you useless, pretentious spoiled assholes could do is keep your fucking word!” The brunette growled through gritted teeth a little louder than she intended to.

“You might wanna chill princess, we’re just here to deliver, and we don’t know shit about what you’re talking about.” Roan explained then suggested, “You might wanna speak to my mother.” 

“I don’t wanna speak to your stupid mother Roan, I want the damn files that she explicitly promised were to be a huge help for my father’s case!” Lexa snatched the black box from Roan’s hand putting it back into the pocket of her jacket and then warned;

“Tell your dear mother she won’t lay a finger on the diamonds unless she has something worthy to exchange. As to this meeting, I think it’s over, enjoy your stay” Lexa picked up the jacket and headed to what Anya knew was the exit gate, the woman followed instantly after. But before even taking three steps away from the table, two muscled man blocked their way, both slid their suit vests to the side showing heavy guns. Lexa just rolled her eyes still her back and Anya’s facing the Queen Siblings before she hear the annoying cocky tone of Ontari;

“You might wanna sit back down.. What do they call you again? Heda?”. 

“Do you really want to do this here Roan? You know this is a lost cause.” Anya finally spoke trying to minimize the damage Lexa was probably gonna execute to the beautiful place.

“Put the diamonds right back into my palms and you two walk alive.”

He soon added threatening “Of course, without the files”.

Lexa visibly cringed, all her muscles now catching fire, both her hands turn into clenched fists, her knuckles white. Until she heard the softest chuckle coming and serenading her senses from the other table. Lexa turned around to find herself facing a familiar face, the blonde from earlier that night, Lexa recalled. Fuck no.

__

Clarke was still trying to make up the conversation between the people occupying the table beside hers, they were really quiet for people who came to a bar. Until they weren’t. 

The blonde heard a low growl coming out from there and it sounded awfully familiar. No, it can’t be. No fucking way. Clarke thought to herself. The voices were getting louder and then she heard it again;

“I don’t wanna speak to your stupid mother Roan, I want the damn files that she explicitly promised were to be a huge help for my father’s case!”.

Clarke wondered what the girl meant by this declaration. Why were they here?

The stranger soon emerged away from their seat and Clarke’s breaths caught deep inside her lungs, they suddenly felt so small and narrow. Her eyes scanned the girl. That girl.

Clarke’s eyes then diverted to the two suited men blocking the girl’s way out and she immediately tensed. She needed to do something. The blonde didn’t question what, or even why she felt the need to get them the hell out of here, but the only thing Clarke wanted and was there to get was information, so she didn’t wanna risk away the progress she has made, so Clarke did what Clarke does best, she faked being drunk. Now that sounded like a smarter plan inside her head, but she didn’t care, not for now.

Clarke hovered her limp body takng her jacket into her hands then attempted to trip on thin air to give the illusion of herself being wasted out of her mind and decided to chuckle, just to draw everyone’s attention to her. And she succeeded. Soon after she emitted the sound out of her dry lips, the stranger’s (The Commander’s) green eyes connected with her silhouette scanning every movement she made.

Clarke was suddenly self-cautious and felt extremely nervous at the intruding intense gaze she was put under. But she pulled herself out of it, she had a plan to follow there’s no time for her to act like love-stuck puppy standing right in front of their crush. The blonde tripped her way heading straight to the brunette and falling into her arms. With half lidded eyes, and with her face only inches away from the stranger’s, Clarke looked up to woman’s features again, and oh how Clarke wished she didn’t. 

She was met with a confused, baffled and questioning look, and parted lips. Those lips.. Damn. Clarke had to pull her shit together.

“Take me home.” The blonde murmured, barely a whisper, but she’s managed to be heard by both the stranger and her companions.  
__

 

To say Lexa was speechless was simply the understatement of the century. Lexa’s mind completely wiped out from any kind of words and thoughts. The fuck is happening. The brunette was still holding tightly the intoxicated blonde’s silhouette in her arms, but afraid her knees might fail her and drop them both to the cold ground.

Her mind was blank, empty, but Lexa’s heart was so full, it felt so tight and small and incapable of holding all these emotions pumping in and out of it, her hands shaking and palms sweating Lexa still gazed fondly at the girl’s face, unable to tear her eyes from the blue ones barely gazing back. The brunette never came across eyes this blue and this bright, it was a new foreign shade Lexa thought distractingly.

“Who is this?!” Roan growled bitterly at the turning of events taking place right in front of him and his people.

“Listen, Roan. Try to be a little reasonable here; we can’t make a scene in a public place!” Anya started to explain, “We are going to take our diamonds, and the girl, and you’re going to calm down and think this through with your hairy giant head alright? You sure don’t want anyone to witness this huh?” Anya smirked looking up to the siblings.

“Roan! You can’t possibly fall for that. Kill them all and let’s get on with it!”.

And right then, at that exact moment, Lexa was positive that Ontari was an airy head with a very big mouth with intense word vomit.

Silence filled the tense atmosphere while Roan contemplated the choices he had been presented with, before he finally spoke up quietly;

“Alright! But we’re still not finished Woods! I still want the diamonds.” The man warned but Lexa didn’t flinch one bit face to his empty threat, she wasn’t one to back down from a job, or a goal, she was going to get those damn files and she was going to sacrifice anything she ever had to get them.

Anya nodded slowly tilting her head and motioning for Lexa to start walking towards the exit; the brunette scooped the blonde stranger into her arm bridal style and silently stepped out of her rivals’ sight.   
__

 

Clarke was still faking intoxication when she felt strong firm arm envelope her waist and another creeping between the back of her thighs, scooping her into a warm embrace. 

Clarke thought The Commander smelt extremely fruity, and expensive, a scent of oranges mixed with what she guessed were peaches, found their way into her nostrils, her face tucked between the girl’s shoulder and jawline, right into the crook of her neck, and Clarke dared to draw a heavy breath and felt the green eyed beauty gasp at the feel of her breath connecting with soft, bruised skin.

I’m not here for this. Clarke scolded herself, what am I gonna do now? They’re going to kill me.

Suddenly Clarke was dropped on her feet.

“Alright blondy speak up! Who are you?” The commander finally addressed her, she still couldn’t believe this was really happening, hat it wasn’t a dream, she found The Commander, and she found Lexa. And Lexa was really pretty.

“First, do not call me that, and second, I saved your life! Is this how your people say thank you?” Clarke sassed and felt the irritation creep onto the girl’s features while the other woman who Clarke recognised as Anya just chuckled and shook her head.

“I really don’t have time for this, if you’re not actually drunk then please excuse me I have much important matters to take in hand”

Clarke couldn’t believe her, why did she have to be rude when all the blonde did was literally save her life. Lexa was actually really infuriating, she was nerve wracking and sounded whiny and childish, like, how did this person give so much trouble tracking them? She was literally a fucking child, annoyingly so.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Clarke stood there surprised at the Commander’s attitude.

“Alright I’m done, Anya let’s go home I’m exhausted.” The brunette rounded the car climbing into the driver’s seat and waiting for Anya to join her, but the woman just took a tep forward to face Clarke and greeted the blonde with a genuine smile.

“Lexa and I appreciate your help, don’t mind her, she just would have preferred to take matters to her own hands, and her own way, but thank you, you sure saved that place from a great disaster” Anya spoke softly, Clarke thought she was finished but the woman carried on;

“How much exactly did you hear and also, may I know who you really are?”

“Didn’t catch much back there, just saw the guys loaded and freaked out” Clarke Lied.

“How about your identity?” 

“I say it’s time we part ways, drive safely” Clarke lifted her chin and nodded towards Lexa, the girl just rolled her eyes in return and Clarke shook her head in disbelief.

“Very well, let us drive you home please, it’s the least we can do” Anya kindly offered.

“I think your friend isn’t my biggest fan, let’s not make her more uncomfortable than she seems”

“I’ll handle her, climb in, and no excuses!”.

Clarke just stood there for few more minutes debating her own mind on what if this was the right choice to make, she thought of calling back-up, but what good would that bring, Lexa wasn’t caught doing anything wrong, for now.

The blonde took it upon herself and climbed into the back seat and typing an address few blocks away from her actual apartment. The fuck did I get myself into?

Clarke griffin was so screwed. And didn’t go home a hero, not even one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How about another update lol, I won't be updating until next week, and be prepared cause the chapters are going to be long as fuck, the prvious one were only short cause I just wanted to present the plot and the first people to link to it.  
> Kudos and comments booboos please ily xoxo.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I'm moving with this guys and I don't know if anyone likes it or what do you guys think of it.  
> So, a few comments here and there would be of a great help for me to know where to go with this, maybe?

“I cannot believe she fell asleep”, Lexa shouted a quiet whisper to Anya as she put their SUV into a stop before the red light;

The brunette let out a heavy breath then continued, “Also, I cannot believe you offered _her_ a ride! Are you crazy? We don’t know her, we can-“

“Relax, _Heda_! She doesn’t look like trouble” Anya interrupted pulling an already opened can of cold beer which was settled on top of the car’s cupboard, taking a generous gulp then turning her head to her left to take a brief look to the sleeping blonde.

“And she just snored”, Anya chuckled lightly, shaking her head in amusement.

“I’m glad you’re finding this shitty situation very amusing Anya. May I remind you that we still failed our original mission tonight?”

Lexa was desperate. Anya knew this much, she knew Lexa was going to beat herself out for it, that the girl is going to treat every bump along the road as a failure and a disappointment. 

“We’ll get it next time.” The older woman reassured Lexa.

“We don’t have enough time.”

Anya let out a nervous sigh and turned to her left, facing the brunette.

“Listen! You can’t stress yourself over every single problem we face Alexandria-“

“Don’t call me that!” Lexa said through gritted teeth. The green eyed girl haven’t been called by her actual name in years, she hated it for reasons only the closest people to her knew about. Her mind drifted to the last time she ever heard the name spill out of the bloody lips of her father, speaking his last words.

_Lexa was bent on her knees holding her father’s pale face between her hands. Her shaking hands covered with his blood. She was panting heavily, her face wet with tears, eyes wide open in disbelieve. No! This can’t be happening._

_“Alexandria, baby.. No listen! Don’t cry! Just listen to me, please!” Her father said between tired pants;_

_“You are strong! And this.. This is not going to break you, you are going to walk out of here and look for Kane, he will keep you saf-“_

_“No! Jus-Just stop no! You’re going to be fine dad, help is coming an-“_

_“There’s nothing you can do now baby. If you really care about my peace of mind, you are going to stand up and walk out of this door, but first, you have to promise me something very important.”_

_Lexa shook her head, she gulped as tried to swallow the lump in her throat, she can’t cry, Not now, her father needed her to be strong so she was going to suck this up and be as brave as Anya taught her to be._

_“Okay.” She whispered._

_Her father swallowed and blinked for few times. “There’s a safe in my office, Anya will give you the code to open it, you’ll find a pile of files in there, you’re going to take them to a friend named Marcus Kane, he knows what to do with them.” Her father paused and took a large breath into his already torn lungs._

_“Promise me that you’ll never, ever let anyone find you. Anya will take  good care of you as she always has. Promise me!” He demanded._

_“I promise.” Lexa said nodding her head._

_“Now go! I love you Alexandria.”_

_Lexa looked at her father’s face as his eyes were failing to stay opened; he was still fighting his body’s desire to waver as he took the last of his breaths and surrendered himself to oblivion. She still held his lifeless silhouette tight between her little shaking arms and mumbled a soft, gentle and a quiet “I love you too”, before she broke into a loud sob. Her father was gone. It was over._

_She tipped her head down and pressed her quivering lips to his forehead before getting back on her feet, making sure she doesn’t glance back at what she was leaving behind. She felt helpless, Lexa also felt useless, why couldn’t she do something to save him? How could she just walk away from him? She was weak. At least that’s what Lexa thought of herself as she ran down the stairs to look for Anya, the last person Lexa cared about, the last person Lexa had had left._

“Lexa!” The brunette heard a quiet voice addressing her. She blinked and shook herself out of the unpleasant memory she has been granted with, “The light! It’s green. Go!”

So that’s what the green eyed girl did.

__

 

Clarke felt a soft firm hand shake her out of her sleep, reaching her hand up to wipe her mouth from the sticky material that was clinging to her bottom lip. _Is this dr-_

“You’re drooling.” Then Clarke heard the most delicate and quietest chuckle. She fought against her eye’s will to fall back shut and blinked them open, and was suddenly faced with no one other than the Commander herself. Her eyes looked so green, the darkest shade of green. She dared to trace the girl’s face with a soft gaze, scanning her beautifully made features before she jolted herself up into a seating position.

“I was not!”

“Here. You can use my napkin” Lexa handed her the item. “Take it!” She added.

The blonde reached her hand to grab the napkin, _Oh. It’s really soft,_ the young detective thought as she guided the soft item up to wipe her mouth, her senses soon invaded with the fruitiest smell. She thought if the Commander was as sweet as she smelled.

“We just parked, Anya went to get us some water and asked me to keep you company ‘til she gets back.”

“Right.” Clarke replied nodding her head. “How long did I sleep for?” The blonde asked, trying to ease the blossoming awkward tension surrounding them both.

“Pretty much the whole ride” Lexa whispered, “You can get to the front if you want.”

“I’m good.”

“Okay.”

There it was again. The silence. The unbearable white noise Clarke never thought she hated until now, she was racking her mind for something to say, anything really. But no words actually succeeded to escape her chapped lips, not until the girl facing the wheel finally spoke.

“Thank you.” Clarke watched the girl swallow hard, _is she nervous?_ See, Clarke thought too highly of the all mighty Commander to be faced with a shy whisper of gratitude and thought if Lexa has been ever forced to show said feeling to anyone.

“No problem, I did it to save my ass too.”

The brunette nodded in acknowledgment. Clarke felt a sharp ping of guilt.

Lexa turned to her right facing the blonde, “I-“

The passenger door abruptly fell open revealing a breathless Anya on the other side, “Here you go. It’s cold so don’t drink up too fast and make sure you warm it up in your mouth before you swallow we can’t have you catch a fl-“ Anya started rumbling startling both girls. Before she was interrupted;

“Fine, alright I get it, geez shut up!” Lexa bit back embarrassed. Clarke remembered all the times when her mother, Abby Griffin, was trying to steal a kiss when driving her to school and Clarke would pull away ashamed, _“Mom! Stop! Not in front of my friends.”_ And Abby would just smile. The blonde briefly wondered if Anya was a mother.

“Oh, you’re finally awake.”

“Sorry.” Clare replied, dragging her lips upwards in a faint smile.

“Don’t be.” Anya paused then soon added, “Also, you should know that Lexa and I know about your secret”

Clarke froze, _what the-_ , she was going to be eliminated, no one will know where her body was going to lie, this was over before it even begun. Clarke’s eyes widen and her hands started shaking, she could feel the droplets of sweat tickling down her back.

“You snore.” Anya finally said with another soft chuckle pulling Clarke out of her own misery.

“And she drools too” Lexa added and the blonde felt heat rise up under her skin, painting her features a bright shade of red.

“Well then glad this is the last encounter between us so you guys won’t tease me about this again.” Oh but Clarke knew this wasn’t the last encounter between any of them, she was going to witness their fallen plans along with their lives, hell she was determined to be the reason for it. Now that she got a step closer, Clarke felt something she had long forgotten how it felt like, _Hope._

“Anyway, you’re free to go; I just wanted to thank you, again, for your help, although it was a stupid thing to do. And I need you to forget everything you’ve heard or saw tonight, is that alright with you?”.

Clarke expected a threat, not a request. This woman, Anya, was really polite and careful with the words she uttered, _unlike someone else._

“Yeah, of course” The blonde reassured.

The brunette then unfastened her seat belt and stepped out of the car, walking to the other side and opened the back door for Clarke to do the same. The blonde wordlessly did so, still facing the green eyed girl.

Lexa threw a long lingering stare at the blonde, her eyes traveling between her blue eyes and finally spoke;

“May we meet again.”

She paced back into the car and got it back to life, Anya’s head peaking from the window and waving a goodbye to the young detective as Lexa drove them back home, leaving Clarke with her eyes wide open, and mouth ajar in disbelief.

__

 

Clarke fumbled with her apartment keys buried deep inside the dark blue jacket. It was slightly dark in the corridors. She still couldn’t believe what just happened, out of all the ways Clarke thought of her first meeting with the reason for her sleepless nights, this one was far too unbelievable.

Clarke thought for a second if she could just call it _fate,_ for she knew fate has always been playing dangerous games to manipulate the course of her life, but why would the universe possibly work in strange manners to cross her path with Lexa’s?

As the blonde was looking for her keys inside the pocket of her leather jacket, her hand met a soft material, she pulled it out and her gaze fell on the white clean napkin, Lexa’s.

She tucked it back into her pocket.

 She inserted the key inside the lock and twisted it gently, carful not to wake her friends if they were ever asleep. She swung the door open and stepped inside shutting in behind her. While she was undoing the laces of her boots Raven soon immerged from the living room fixing her with a scolding stare.

“Where the fuck did you go?” The Latina snarled.

“Sorry. You’ll never believe what happened, hell I still can’t believe what happened.”

“What? The bathroom quicky was that impressive?” Raven joked.

“God.. Raven you’re gross. Where’s Octavia?”

“Sleeping like a baby” Raven replied, taking Clarke’s elbow into her hand and dragging her to the couch, as they both plopped down on it. Clarke threw her head back letting it fall against the back of the couch, closing her eyes and taking a long relieved sigh.

“So what happened?”

“Something I’ve been waiting to happen for a long time now” Clarke explained.

“How about you stop being an air head and tell me what _actually_ happened?”

The blonde brought her upper body into a straighter seating position and looked into Raven’s confused features.

“I met her!” She quietly declared.

“Met who?”

“The Commander, Raven. I met the _Commander_.”

__

 

“May we meet again? Where did you pull out this line from kid? Twilight?” Anya was having too much fun with this, Lexa thought. She could see the girl teasing her about this for the next two months ahead.

“Can you, like I don’t know, maybe stop?” Lexa replied as she parked her SUV inside the garage. Both girls headed to the door then the stairs leading them inside the house.

“Never!” Anya mused. “Should’ve seen her face. Priceless. Poor girl must’ve thought you had a grumpy elder woman inside of you and here I thought you had game _Heda_ ” The woman emphasised.

“That’s it, I’m leaving to have some needed sleep, don’t forget to talk Kane down for me I’m, personally, not looking forward to it” Lexa forgot how many times she had to roll her eyes at Anya’s antics, not that she was keeping count.

__

 

Lexa pushed open the door to her room and closing it behind once she was inside. _The quiet._ That’s what Lexa most loved about being inside the comfort of her own room, she was thankful Kane’s mansion was a little too far from the city.

She tossed away her jacket on the carpeted floor on the foot of her king sized bed and threw her body on top of the cold, black and cotton sheets letting out a long sigh. Lexa closed her green eyes, a certain infuriating blonde already taking a huge amount of space into her thoughts and settling in the busy chamber of her mind. _I shouldn’t be thinking about this! About her,_ the brunette scolded herself.

She failed, again, to accomplish what both Anya and herself were at the bar for, the feeling of running around in a limitless circle was exhausting and frustrating, she felt helpless again, like she wasn’t putting much effort in what she fought for, like nothing she did was ever enough.

“I’m sorry” Lexa whispered to her father who was nowhere to be now. “I’m so sorry” she mumbled again, and again, letting a single tear fall free from her closed eye then covered her face with both shaking hands, refusing to let herself sink in that horrible feeling another time, afraid that someone might see her this vulnerable and broken, refusing to admit to herself as well as the others that, she, Lexa, had failed them. _She_ had failed her father.

__

 

“What?!” Raven let out a high pitched scream in complete shock.

“Shh.. O’ is sleeping” Clarke warned with a worried gaze.

“H-how did y.. You must be extremely wasted, that drink was sketchy I’m sure it causes hallucinations, no wonder Octavia was rumbling some shit about an eagle flying out of your window, which by the way, you should have closed before leaving your place it’s not saf-“

“Stop!” Clare interrupted. “I’m not seeing things, I’ve even talked to her and Anya, they were both at the VIP section with some people I know nothing about, and negotiating about some files Rae.” The blonde explained then added, “I was there, they were going to kill them if I hadn’t done something and I-“

“Wait! Hold the fuck up! What did you do? Clarke, oh my God, are you out of your fucking mind? Why haven’t you told me, or called for back up? They could have killed you!”

“But they didn’t” Clarke argued. “Listen! Now I know how Lexa does actually look like-“

“Lexa?” Raven shot Clarke a questioning look.

“I.. I mean the Commander. Now will you please stop interrupting me and let me finish?” Clarke stuttered through her words before continuing to tell her story, “I.. _We_ need her alive. She needs to pay for everything wrong she’s done and she’s about to do, Raven. What should I have done? Flaunt my badge and be like ‘Oh hey! You’re arrested for being so pretty’?” As soon as the words escaped Clarke’s lips she strongly wished she could take them back. Yes Lexa was pretty, but Raven sure as hell didn’t need to know all about Clarke’s personal opinion on the outlaw’s appearance.

Raven sighed; she looked defeated and ready to hear all about it, “What does she look like?” The Latina soon asked, she, herself heard so much about said Commander and she was glad one of them had succeeded to eventually put a face to that title. And Clarke was slightly pleased with the fact that her friend’s curiosity didn’t linger as far as judging Clarke’s previous statement.    

“Well sh-, she has like long brown hair, it’s really long, and her eyes were the greenest green I’ve ever seen, if you look up close into them I swear you could make up thousands of galaxies, sharp features with some bruises here and there, and I swear to fucking baby Jesus she had like glitter all over her neck an-“

“Alright chill! I get it. Girl is pretty.”

“Well anyway, she looked so young, maybe my age or younger by couple of years.” Clarke tried to get her scattered thoughts into order again; she no longer knew by what she should start talking about.

“Now what?” Raven asked. _Yeah. Now what?_ Just now, Clarke was brought back from her haze, what was she going to do now? How was she going to find Lexa again? Will the Commander ever find out about Clarke being a detective? How was _this_ , a step forward when she still has nothing to work with other then Lexa being insanely and annoyingly beautiful?

Clarke sighed in defeat and let her shoulder fall and quietly muttered;

“I don’t know.”

__

 

Anya was sitting down on the couch in the large living room, both her feet tucked under her, the TV was on, a show the woman never cared to figure out what was going on in.

Her mind clouded with thoughts about Lexa, _her sweet, gentle Lexa._ Lexa who was the most smart and most innocent child Anya had the pleasure to know and take care of. She failed to know why and how the brunette turned out to be this cold, emotionless young woman, this wasn’t supposed to happen, this wasn’t what she promised would happen. This wasn’t the way Lexa should have turned out to be nor was it the way she had to live. Lexa deserved so much, she deserved _better_. She should have been studying in college, attending parties and have friends of her age.

Lexa deserved more than a bruised face and a bruised body, Anya thought. But she failed in every aspect the word ‘fail’ had meant.

Anya was soon pulled out of the venomous thoughts with a sound of keys colliding against a hard wooden surface.

“Anya. You’re back.”

 It was Kane.

“So?” The old man questioned while he paced towards Anya and took a seat beside her, his eyes hopeful and gentle. The woman hated this. She hated disappointing the one man that never even as threw a single judgmental look at her, she wanted so bad to get back to him and deliver good news, to offer him a slight, short second of peace, but here she was, about to put him down again.

Anya didn’t have to say anything for Kane to understand. The woman’s features gave away what she was fighting to utter. So Anya just shook her head and then lowered her gaze down, ashamed, not daring to face him.

“I see.” Kane whispered. “What happened?”

“Weren’t the files we were hoping for. Nia is stalling, we have to do something, Kane, and soon.”

“I had a feeling this would happen. Nia was never a woman of her word, I should have thought _better_ than to send you two alone back there, I’m sorry.”

 _What?_ Anya didn’t know why Kane always felt the need to apologize for things he didn’t have anything to do with, it wasn’t his fault the Queens tricked them into this deal.  He was, and still is as protective, always a gentleman and a kind hearted caring person, and he carried their burdens along with his, for years.

Kane, much more like Lexa, was not a fan of showing weakness, he always made sure to show strength and poise in front of his people, he believed that if anyone sensed worrisome and uncertainty leaking from him then everyone’s determination and _trust_ would eventually waver.

“Don’t say that, please” Anya reached her hand to grab Kane’s in her own, drawing soft reassuring circles, “We’ll fix this. I trust you, we all do.”

Kane gave an illusion of a tired smile before speaking;

“Where’s Lexa?”.

“Up in her room, she’s tired” Anya informed.

“Aren’t we all.” Then Kane was back up on his feet, heading to the stairs.

“Sleep well, Anya. Tomorrow is a new day.” So the man disappeared leaving behind a hopeful young woman. _They were going to fix this_ , Anya tried to convince herself. It takes as long as it takes. They were going to give Lexa back the life she always deserved to have, even if it costs them their own.

_Tomorrow is a new day, indeed._

__

 

“Right, did the guys say anything to the cops?”

Kane was now talking to Lincoln on the phone, he threw his black, and very classic jacket on the arm of the couch and threw himself onto it, waiting for a response from the other end of the phone.

_“No one said a word, don’t worry, I’ve handle it, but I can’t risk going in there. You know why”_

“Very well. Thank you Lincoln, let’s keep it that way, okay?” Kane added.

_“Of course. I’ll stay here in case anything went wrong, I’ll keep you updated.”_

Kane hang up his phone and stayed right where he was seated on the couch, he felt too heavy, there was still so much to do, and he needed to be more organized and careful for more reasons than just one. He really couldn’t afford to risk anything; another slip on the path wasn’t an option.

Kane was determined to stay focused on their mission. He took the promises he made seriously. A man true to his words. He needed to keep everyone safe, including Lexa, _especially_ Lexa. Kane closed his weary eyes slipping into a world of his own.

 

_“Kane?” The fourteen year old brunette interrupted Kane’s lingering gaze within the grey clouded sky, tugging on the sleeves of his grey shirt, and he soon turned his full attention to the girl standing beside him and made sure to address her quietly, but his voice was firm and commanding; drawing his dry lips into a soft smile;_

_“Yes Lexa!”_

_“Are you doing this just for my father?” The girl curiously questioned, paused to take a gulp, afraid that Kane’s reaction wouldn’t be as pleasant as she expected it to be. Then continued, “I- I mean, are you doing this just because you have to or..” Lexa trailed away the ‘r’ trying to emphasise what she miserably failed to express._

_Kane looked back up to the vast sky; he let out a shaken sigh tipping his head down and kicking a small shaped rock, sending it down from the top of the hill._

_“You don’t remember when I first laid eyes on you.” He chuckled, “You were what? Seven months? You were, like..” Kane gestured with both hands, “.. This size”, Lexa giggled. And there was nothing that could make Kane’s heart flutter with happiness and ease more than Lexa’s laugh, it was so.. Pure, so innocent. In that moment Kane wanted nothing more than to make a life goal to keep this child smiling._

_“I remember your father handing you to me that afternoon, I was away for business, I didn’t know how to hold a baby in my arms, you were so tiny and I was afraid you would just… Break in my arms”, Kane still felt Lexa’s gaze lingering on the side of his features, then he turned back to her and continued;_

_“The moment my eyes fell on you, Lexa. Everything inside of me changed. I wasn’t the man I used to be anymore, it’s like you casted a spell on me.” Lexa still stared at the man in awe, failing to believe what was now being said to her; “You! Lexa woods.” Kane pointed his pointer finger into the brunettes shoulder,_

_“You were such a cute bean” The brunette smacked Kane’s shoulder with a weak fist, but still giggling to the man’s rusty sense of humour._

_“Stop!” She said, but Lexa didn’t want the man to stop, she enjoyed his company, enjoyed his not-so-funny attempts of a joke. Although the man lacked humour, he always succeeded in painting a smile on the brunette’s features one way or another._

_“What I really want to say, Lexa, is that I had a really grey day, just like the sky right now” he said gesturing to the view, “My day was grey Lexa, and you were… Green.”_

_Kane didn’t have to explain his strange choice of words for Lexa to clearly understand what the man meant. So the girl just let her body fall into Kane’s welcoming embrace, she held into his waist very tightly, still within the reigns of the quiet peaceful surroundings._

 

Kane jolted his body back into consciousness, beads of sweat swimming around from his forehead down wetting down his cheeks.

He grabbed his phone while taking off his tie, the man felt himself choking on nothing but the air trying to fill his lungs. He dialled a number he’d never thought he would dial ever again, but he had to, he promised he would fix this, and he sure was going to, so he slowly reached the phone to his left ear waiting as it started ringing. Then it stopped, and Kane braced himself to hear the voice he didn’t expect nor hoped he was ever going to have the chance to hear.

_“Doctor Abby Griffin. Who’s this?”._

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pay me a visit at: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/fforever-alonee   
> Let us be friends.


	6. chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget kudos and comments if you guys want me to keep this up . motivation is really important.  
> So this chapter will clear some things up but mess so many others. It's full of surprises and it's like.. A little... Cute?

_“Anya!” a minuscule version of Lexa ran up outside the wooden double doors of her school, pacing rapidly towards the woman leaning against the black SUV and finally bracing herself between soft, strong arms._

_“Hey, you! How was school today?” Anya asked the little brunette after landing her back on her feet and opened the back door for Lexa to hop inside the car before getting inside it and facing the wheel._

_“Good.”_

_Anya knew all about that tone. Lexa was trying to hide something, she knew the green eyed child wasn’t talkative, but the expression imprisoning her innocent features gave Lexa out. She was an open book. At least for Anya._

_“Oh really? Well that’s good to know.” Anya knew better than to push Lexa’s buttons, she knew the brunette wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing whatever was troubling her mind._

_“Anya?” Lexa called again._

_“Yes, Lexa?”_

_There was a brief pause, and Lexa let out a tangled sigh, like she was scared to talk, or ask something, Anya assumed. So the woman smiled and let her gaze carefully land on Lexa’s reflection on the rear-view mirror, to reassure her that it was, in fact, alright._

_“C-can we go get some i-ice cream?” Lexa asked nervously not daring to lift her green eyes to meet Anya’s._

_Anya just chuckled, amused. She didn’t know why was Lexa so scared to ask for ice cream, but it suddenly hit her. The little brunette always considered herself as older, or much more mature than she already was, Lexa never desired the things that kids her age were meant to want, she never wanted candy, or a PlayStation, or a pink bicycle, but Anya remembered Lexa loved flowers, Lexa loves flowers, she loves colours._

_“Of course, kid.” Anya simply replied and watched the brightest toothy grin plaster itself on Lexa’s features, radiating a shiny white halo surrounding the girl. Anya felt satisfied. She just made Lexa happy._

 

“I hate this show, it’s stupid.” Lexa declared, her eyes fixed on the large smart TV in the living room, where she was laying on the comfortable couch, a big bowl of chocolate flavoured ice cream and a metal spoon in her hold.

Anya came back from her hazy memories about the girl on her left. She smiled and took hold of the brunette’s ankles which were occupying her lap.  

“No one’s forcing you to watch it, kid.” Anya plainly replied, then soon added, “Also; are you not gonna share?” she motioned for the bowl still in Lexa’s hand.

“Nah, ‘s all mine.” The girl said, her mouth full of a spoonful of ice cream, but still managed to keep a soft smile on her lips.

Anya chuckled quietly, looking at Lexa.

The woman cherished these times when they were surrounded by silence and peace. When Lexa wasn’t running away from a suited man trying to hurt her, when she wasn’t jumping off buildings and making Anya hold a long worried breath, she cherished the moments she got to spend with her goddaughter alone, watching meaningless TV shows, joking about Lexa never having the slightest idea of what the Kardashians do for a living or why does ShadowHunters have such bad production quality.

It was quiet, it was peaceful and it was something Anya wished they’d always have.

“Lincoln is coming over later tonight” The older woman announced, “He’s reporting news to Kane from the hospital.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah!”.

“How are the men doing? Anything serious?” Lexa asked, her face falling into a frown.

Looking at Lexa’s features, Anya knew the brunette felt a heavy weight of guilt; she scolded herself for bringing this subject into their conversation and interrupting the short amount of time Lexa felt weightless of the burden of having to think about everyone’s safety and wellbeing.

“They’re recovering.” She started to rub small and delicate soothing circles around the brunette’s swollen ankles, a gentle smile decorating her lips when Lexa let out a pleased sigh, then she added;

“Lexa. They’ve done their job. Keeping you safe was what they were there to do, they had to distract them so you could get out of there safe.”

“I know, but-“

“No!” Anya suddenly interrupted, “You are not going to blame yourself for that too, we’re all here to keep each other safe. You would have done the same thing for them too.”

The older woman always made sure to stop Lexa from overthinking every situation they tangled themselves within, she didn’t want the younger girl to feel responsible for anyone getting harmed, they were there because they wanted to, and because everything they have been doing was of a great importance to each and every single one of them.

Anya knew, as well as Lexa- Although she had a habit of denying it- that those brave, fearless men weren’t just there because they were getting paid, it wasn’t a job, it was a commitment, they were passionate and determined, they were guided by this mission it almost felt as their own… _Religion_ and treated Lexa as a _God_.

The sound of Anya’s phone ringtone blared within the silence and filled the atmosphere with anticipation again. The older woman let go of Lexa’s legs and grabbed her phone from where it was laid on the coffee table in front of them.

“Hello?” she replied, “I’ll be there in ten.” Anya lifted herself away from the couch, tucking her phone inside her back pocket and looked down at Lexa, a questioning look now on her face.

“It was our source, she has some new. I’d have to meet her back in the city” Anya explained and the brunette nodded in acknowledgment.

“You gonna be alright?”

“Yeah. Be careful” Lexa pleaded in a quiet whisper. Here they were again, back into their element, back into anticipation and nervousness.

The brunette’s gaze followed Anya’s steps until she vanished behind the polished wooden exit door to their beloved home. Lexa found herself worried and scared again, she was yet again left behind with the vague  dark feeling of what she was scared to admit was _loneliness_.

__

 

Clarke was sat within the safe comfort of her apartment still contemplating whether or not she should tell Chief Jaha about her unexpected encounter with Lexa- the Commander, she was still wondering if it was the right thing to do or to just keep it for Raven and herself, for the moment, she still had nothing, just a lingering image of a breathtakingly beautiful and fit young lady, her mind slowly diving into a bright green horizon, _those eyes, the blonde recalled, those mistakenly soft and glimmering eyes._

 _No one, including herse_ lf, has ever pictured the all mighty Commander to look so delicate and fragile, Lexa, in what Clarke thought of her now, was far from ordinary, but not for being a very organised and ruthless delinquent like everyone already assumed. Those eyes, those features spoke of a great deal of gentleness.

Clarke let her eyes fall shut, going back to the first glance she threw at the girl standing in front of her, the edges surrounding her eyes crinkled whilst a very large grin took over the surface of her face, she looked and sounded tired, exhausted even. But beautifully so, Clarke briefly wondered if Lexa’s face was ever clean of sharp cuts and swollen wounds, she tried to picture the girl’s face without any.

Her stomach broke into painful waves of sharp flutter and she willed herself to stop. To stop thinking about the way the brunette held her tight between strong arms, they Lexa lifted Clarke, both literally and figuratively off the ground, but she couldn’t.

She mentally slapped herself for allowing her mind to swim within dangerous and deadly waters, waters; Lexa’s eyes also had an ocean blue thin line surrounding the forest green of her dark pupils.

Clarke shot up, untangling her uncovered body from the warm white sheets on her bed, she needed to get to work and she had to face yet another day with probably other fruitless attempts to catch their prey. She stepped outside her room and into the shower and stood under the flow of hot water.

This routine always dulled the blonde’s life and turned it into pointless pacing and stress but now that Clarke had felt a glimmer of hope again, she refused to let her life be just that, now that shining green collided with once a boring blue.

Clarke got out of the steamy shower, putting on her outfit and hanging her badge and gun on her thin waist and heading for the station, determined to make a use of whatever useless mental picture she’s gotten of Lex- _the Commander_.

__

 

“Where’s detective Griffin?” Chief Jaha asked as he peered out his figure out of his office door.

“She’ll be here soon” Bellamy replied, numberless files in his hands.

“Send her in as soon as she checks in.” The Chief commanded.

“Of course.”

Bellamy settled on the uncomfortable chair of his desk, sprawling said files messily on its surface. He forgot how many times he looked into them without an interesting information about the crimes committed, he too was frustrated and hopeless.

He took the little piece of the thick card with the Commander’s signature into his left hand and simply gazed at it, lost once again between messy theories and assumptions until he jerked out at the sudden thud on his small crowded desk. The man looked up, his brown eyes locking with blue. Clarke. He smiled unwillingly.

“Where’ve you been?” 

“Home. Your sister can be a handful sometimes, Blake.” Clarke said amusingly.

“So I’ve heard.” He started, “I’m sorry though, I’ll make sure to come pick her up next time.”

“It’s alright, Raven does a surprisingly good job at handling her.” The blonde clarified.

“They’re pretty close, yeah.” He plainly said, collecting the files back into order; “The Chief was asking for you by the way, he didn’t look so pleased.”

Clarke stepped away from her partner’s desk and quietly shouted in a muffled whisper, “When did he ever?” before she turned around on her heels with a weary smile. She knocked on the door and instantly let herself in.

“Chief!” Clarke greeted.

“Good morning detective.” Jaha turned his attention from the screen of his computer. “What do we have?” He expectedly asked.

“Still n-nothing actually.” The blonde felt a heavy weight of guilt slam on her lungs, making her tongue tumble on its own words.

Chief Jaha titled his head down and Clarke felt it, disappointment.

“I see. Well, how’s Abby? Haven’t heard from her in a while.”

“She’s good, working out some crazy hospital shifts, but we both know how much she loves the pain.” Clarke said amusingly.

“She’s on a noble mission; detective Griffin, saving lives was never easy.”

“I know.”

Clarke stood there in silence waiting if the Chief had anything else to say. And he eventually spoke;

“You’re dismissed, if that’s all?”

“Y-yeah, okay. Get back to you if we got anything from the guys back in the hospital.” And then Clarke stepped out of the office and back into what she knew were useless piles of files waiting for her at her desk.

__

 

Nia was standing by the big glassy windows looking out into the mass of grey buildings with her hands clasped behind her back when she heard a strong knock on the door, the woman knew who I belonged to without having to turn back to take a look.

“Roan.” She coldly greeted.

“Mother.” The man replied as unenthusiastically. His relationship with his mother wasn’t that… Motherly, so to say. The middle aged woman treated him as formally as she treated the people working under her command.

“I see you came empty handed.”

“What did you expect? The files you handed me were worthless. They were furious, would rather have me kill them for as a small amount of money as six million dollars? Mother.” Roan bit back, obviously angry at his so called mother who sent him there, probably knowing exactly those files weren’t going to get them anywhere.

“And here I thought, my son was no longer an ignorant child.” 

“Do not call me that, mother! It wasn’t my fault and you know that. Were you trying to get me killed?!” his voice was getting louder with every word he spat.

“Lower your tone when you speak to me!” Nia commanded with a cold voice, she finally turned around facing her raging son.

“I wasn’t expecting them to take the files, Roan. I was rather hoping I’d know why they’re putting so much at stake for them.” Nia explained.

“Couldn’t you just ask? Or even better, not get into their business at all.”

“Ah, one day you’ll know that I’m not ‘getting into their business’ for my own pleasure, but for your own future.”

“I didn’t ask for this! All I ever wanted was to get the respect I deserve.”

Roan’s bitter tone cracked and his voice seemed to falter on its own accord. The man believed he was worthy of his mother’s trust after all the hard work he’d been putting up all these years, all the horrible things he’s done just to get a plain simple praise but miserably and disappointingly failing to gain it.

“You don’t ask for greatness, Roan!” his mother said through gritted teeth, starting to get irritate by her son’s attitude; “You fucking rip it off the hands of others.” She added, sending sharp chills through his hard skin.

No matter how Roan thought his mother to be one of the most ruthless of her peers, he always ended up faced with a scariest version of them all. So he stood there silently, slowly nodding his head in defeat, knowing wholeheartedly that this was a lost argument.

__

 

To say Lexa was bored was an understatement; she was _fucking_ out of her mind. She was currently standing on her balcony, with a lighted cigarette tucked between her plump lips, she inhaled the smoke deep into her lungs and filled them with the addicting but comforting and burning feeling of the substance and exhaled it back out, smoke clouds flying around her head into the air.

She hated being alone. When Lexa was alone, she was allowed to think, but never were her thoughts so pleasant, they were always loud and scary and nervous. Her thoughts suddenly turned blue, _wide blue eyes, golden blonde curls, soft pale skin,_ her last encounter with the stranger last night was taking more space in her mind than Lexa was willing to admit, she wondered why a completely unknown stranger cared as much as to save a life she wasn’t supposed to, why did this girl ever feel like it was okay to just barge into Lexa’s dull life and turn it upside down?  

What that blonde did was idiotic, but still, who was Lexa to judge her actions as such when she had her own record to break.

Lexa’s face broke into a gentle smile when she remembered the flustered behaviour of the stranger, the stuttering, the light shade of rosy cheeks lighting her world in within the darkness of that place, cute, she thought, but abruptly shook her head as an attempt to rid her head from such invasive, unnecessary thoughts.

“You know that thing would kill you right?”

Lexa quickly threw the still hot cigarette away from her hold, the smoke still escaping through her nose and turned around to face an amused giggling Lincoln. She then sighed in relief.

“So does walking down the stairs.” She replied.

“Stop being a smartass, will ya? If I was Kane we’d be having a whole different conversation.” Lincoln replied as he paced towards Lexa and stood by her side.

“Well, you’re not Kane so, lucky me?”

Lincoln chuckled, his eyes scanning the brunette’s face closely.

“Your cute little face is healing quite good I’d say. How are you?” He gently painted a soft smile on his lips.

Lexa hated to be asked that exact question. What was she supposed to say? She wasn’t doing any better than she did last night, or the day before.

“I’m alright.” She lied.

“Mhm.”

“You?”

“As long as _Heda_ is good, I am too.” Lexa put on the most genuine appreciative smile she had in store at Lincoln’s declaration, whereas everyone knew Lincoln was a strong guy with a hard character, he always had a soft spot for the brunette, he always made sure Lexa knew exactly how much he cared and he wasn’t ashamed to show it.

Lexa titled her head down still smiling, when Lincoln stepped away from the balcony and briefly turned to face her once again;

“Take care of yourself, kid.” Lexa was going to protest at the nickname again but before she had the chance to utter any words Lincoln was nowhere to be found.

 

_“Lexa, come on hurry up!” Lincoln called grabbing the girl by her elbow and dragging her up on the stairs._

_“Okay, geez slow down big guy, I can’t possibly keep up.” Lexa said breathless as they reached the door leading to Lincoln’s room, “What even is this important thing you have to show me? Listen! If it’s another collection of your stupid Pokemon cards I swear-“_

_“Surprise!”_

_Lexa stood on the door step mouth ajar and eyes wide open in disbelief, there stood Anya, Kane and Indra with a numberless of their house maids and beloved workers._

_“Happy fifteenth birthday, dear!” Marcus spoke first, walking rapidly and embracing the still startled girl between his arms._

_“Hey! I wanna hug too.” Added Anya, faking a pout and circling her arms around them both, before four arms became six and then eight and then a handful of other, squeezing Lexa’s small frame in between._

_“G-guys, I c-can’t… Breathe” the teenage girl protested in a muffled scream before she was set free and breathed in a large amount of missed oxygen._

_“H-how.. Wh-..?”_

_“Lincoln planned it, said it was a nice change in this boring castle Kane trapped us all in.” Anya amusingly answered Lexa’s unspoken question._

_“You’re welcome to sleep in the garage Anya.” Kane said, with a bright smile. Lexa forgot the last time she felt this, whole, this weightless and carefree. Everyone broke into a fit of chuckles and giggles landing sloppy kisses on the edges of Lexa’s teary cheeks. Everyone was happy and smiling, for now at least. Lexa sure was certain she has lost a family, but soon realized she was greeted with an even better one._

____

Kane was distractingly trying to read the first paragraph of the book he held in his hand for the last thirty minutes, but dropped it with a sharp huff back on the surface of his nightstand. He couldn’t think of anything other than the phone call he’d made last night, the voice he had longed to hear for so long.

_“Doctor Abby Griffin, who’s this?”_

_Kane’s whole body froze as the familiar voice filled his ears. Oh how much he missed it, how much he missed her._

_“Hello?” The woman called again, impatiently waiting for a reply._

_“Hello, Abigale.” He finally dared his voice to speak._

_There was a pregnant pause before Marcus heard the woman’s voice again;_

_“M-Marcus? I-is that you?”_

_“I see you still recall how I sound.” Kane remarked with a weak smile. His left hand tucked inside the pocket of his pants and the other one holding the phone._

_“How could I ever forget? How are you? Been a long time, huh?”_

_“It has, indeed. I’m good, you?”_

_“Getting better.”_

_“Right.”_

_They both fell into the dull white silence again, both of them scared to utter another word to the other, until Abby spoke;_

_“So what suddenly reminded you of me?” The woman on the other side of the phone asked curiously._

_“Well, can’t I just call a friend? Who, by the way I’ve dearly missed.”_

_Abby let out a soft chuckle and Kane felt his insides flutter and melt at the familiar pleasant sound._

_“Right. What do you actually need me for?” The woman asked._

_Kane sighed in defeat._

_“I need your help.”_

_“With what?”_

_“It’s Lexa.”_

 

The bearded man let his eyes flutter open again, the melodious sound of the woman still lingering inside his head, and stepped away from his bed towards the closet, searching for a fitting outfit for his upcoming meeting. Kane wondered where he would be now if he had done things different, if he had done them better.

__

Clarke was standing by the coffee machine, nervously tapping her foot onto the floor, lost in her own problematic thoughts before they were intrusively interrupted by a harsh whisper;

“I can’t believe you haven’t told anyone about what happened last night! Are you fucking crazy?” Raven. Clarke turned to her left to face the girl.

“Be quiet!” she whispered, grabbing her mug and leading Raven into an empty corner;

“What am I supposed to tell them? ‘Hey by the way I caught a lift with the Commander last night’?” She added.

“What?! Bitch you didn’t tell me she drove you hom- Oh my god Clarke you’re so stupid! She knows where you liv-“

“Stop! She doesn’t. They drove me a few blocks away.”

“And that’s supposed to just what? Relieve me?”

“Raven!” Clarke warned before she continued, “I need something more reliable than just her face, I need evidence, and we’re not getting any if I spit everything out now.”

Clarke watched Raven’s face fall into thoughtfulness and felt relief for the lack of resistance.

“Okay, you might be right but-“

“No buts, Raven, I’ll handle it.” The blonde interrupted.

The Latina’s gaze fixed itself on Clarke’s features, questioning and worried.

“I hope you know what you’re doing” and then Raven walked out, leaving Clarke captive of her thoughts yet again. Clarke didn’t know what she was possibly going to do, how she was going to see Lexa again? She sighed and decided to surrender herself to something she would have never thought she would surrender herself to, _fate. It had to work; she had to believe, to hope._

_Clarke had no other choice._

__

 

Anya parked her car outside a nearby coffee shop, it was the safest, quietest place she could meet their source. Once the woman entered the unoccupied place, her eyes landed on the other girl impatiently waiting for her on the table at the far corner.

She paced towards the girl and pulled aside a chair to take a seat, and then looked around to see if they were being followed by anyone, once she was certain they were alone she looked at the woman sitiing on the other side of the table and finally spoke;

“What do you have for me, _Octavia_?”.


	7. chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting serious you guys, buckle up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, @ me at @JauresexualHeda on twitter and fforever-alonee on tumblr, let's chat about this, if you're interested?

Kane exited his fancy matte black Jaguar as he parked it by the entrance of the Queen-Corp tall building, he buttoned his vest and tucked a hand into the pocket of his pants and paced through the large glass doors leading him towards the receptionist.

“I have a meeting with Mrs Queen; please notify her that I’ve arrived.” The man quietly murmured.

“Sure. Take a seat; I’ll get back to you in a minute.” A tall dirty blonde young woman replied and gestured for the comfortable leather couch in the corner.

Marcus Kane never made such compromises in all his long professional life, and coming to talk to Nia personally was considered a first, and hopefully the last. He walked back to take a seat, first unbuttoning his vest and settling down with his legs crossed.

Kane didn’t know why he was here nor what he was going to say once his finally face to face with his long term rival, he just knew, for a fact, that he needed to be there for a single reason, for the sake of one person, _Lexa_. 

Kane always found himself crossing unimaginable red lines for the girl’s best interest, although he admitted he’d made some excruciatingly bad decisions, he’d also gave himself justifiable excuses as to why he’d made them. It was all for a greater cause, Kane always thought, everything he has done and is about to do was to achieve a—What he prefers to call- _Closure_.

After what felt like numerous minutes have passed, he was again approached by the blonde woman.

“Mr Kane, please follow me.” She softly asked with a dazzling white smile.

So Kane followed. They both got into the silver elevator and the woman pressed on the twenty second’s floor button. Soon after, Kane was escorted towards a polished wooden door and was left there to knock on it, so he did and he soon heard a quiet ‘enter!’. 

The man let himself in and closed the door behind him.

Kane was now faced with the Ice Queen. Scanning her silhouette sure made Marcus realize the nickname was very well earned. There she stood, tall and forward, a mischievous smile on her features, the woman looked victorious, and Kane definitely knew the reason why.

“Marcus.” The woman greeted, still holding her back straight with a firm, painful pose.

“Nia.” Kane greeted back.

“Please.” Nia gestured for the clean white double couch, and Kane settled on the far end of it, laying his elbow on its arm and crossing his legs, while Nia picked up her office phone.

“Bring in two shots of espresso, Echo.” The woman demanded then brought her attention back to the man.

“What are you here for, Marcus?” she forwardly asked, leaning back into the edge of her desk and faced him.

Kane let out a strangled sigh and leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees and entangling his hands, then finally spoke;

“I thought you were smart enough to figure it out on your own.”

Nia’s grin fell into a cold frown; she crossed her arms and said, “I assume, insulting me within the fort of my own company isn’t what you came here for!”

“Right… We both know what brought me here, Nia. Those ‘valuable’ files we talked about, well, how do I say it? Weren’t that ‘valuable’?” Kane explained.

“I said they were valuable, but never actually said for who.” She started before a faint knock on the door interrupted, and finally revealed the dirty blonde from earlier, _Echo_? Kane recalled. She put down the two cups of the dark coffee along with a glass of cold water and emerged back outside the office.

“As I was saying-“ The woman started again, then continued, “Those files are as valuable to me as they are to you, for completely different reasons. I might not have enough knowledge of yours but I think you get the hint on mine, am I right?”.

“Let me rephrase what you just said.” Kane offered as he stood back on his feet.

“So you’re basically saying that you’re going to blackmail me. Over and over again?”.

“Pretty much, yes. I mean, can you blame me? I have an advantage, a card, so to say, am I not allowed to use it?”. 

Kane was now on the verge to slam his fist into the wall, this was irritating and unbearable, not only the woman before him was sarcastically making unnecessary and provocative statements, but she was idiotically underestimating Kane’s power. He swallowed back his furiousness and breathed in, soothing his nerves and willing himself to calm down.

“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.” He buttoned his vest and walked towards the wooden door, before gripping its handle into his fist Kane turned back to face Nia with a provoking fake and tight lipped smile.

“Oh, and by the way I’m going to take those files back. One way or another, so better watch your back Mrs Queen.” Kane threatened before exiting the room, leaving the woman behind.

__

 

Lincoln was breathlessly lying on his back inside the dungeon. He was just about done punching a sand bag for over thirty minutes; his knuckles were sore, bruised and burning. The ringtone of his phone went off signalling a call; the man glanced at the screen.

It was Kane.

“Yes?” He answered, sitting back.

 _“I need you to do something tonight.”_ Lincoln heard.

“I’m listening.” He replied.

 _“I want you to take some well trusted men along to the Queen’s. And I want you to find me something.”_ Kane took a pregnant pause before continuing, _“Don’t comeback without the files.”_

Kane didn’t have to ask twice, or to explain, Lincoln was already back on his feet and ready to go do the job. As he turned on his heels, his gaze landed on a slim figure. _Lexa_ , wearing tight black yoga pants and a matching tank top, her brown curls tied up in a messy bun.

“Who was it?” The brunette asked slipping under the ropes and standing in front of Lincoln.

“Was Kane. Now if _Heda_ shall excuse me, I have a job to make preparations for.”

Before the tall muscular man could step any further, he felt a strong leg slip between his and his body went tumbling down colliding into the mat. Lincoln chuckled.

“Not before I kick some ass of yours budy.” Lexa said amusingly, looking down at Lincoln. “What did he want?” She added and glanced at Lincoln who was standing back up, putting out his body into a fight pose, both his fists held high before his face and swaying back and forth on his legs. Lexa dodged a high, straight kick directed to his ribs, which he successfully managed to avoid.

“Gonna go pay the Queens a visit tonight.” He explained with a grin.

Lexa paused, “I’m coming with you!” she said with eyes glimmering with enthusiasm, throwing a punch and slamming it right against his left cheek.

“Fuck nah! Kane and Anya would have my head.” He replied, wiping his lower lip.

“Come on! You’ll be there, I’ll be safe, and I’ll keep you safe too.” The brown haired girl pleaded sending an apologetic smile.

Lincoln paused, straightening his pose and contemplating his choices. The man couldn’t remember the last time he was able to utter a ‘No’ to _that_ face, that innocent bruised face. Lexa always had her own little techniques of persuading.  He pursed his lips and finally got himself to speak with a defeated feature.

“Fine.” He paused.

“Guess you’re that bored huh?” Lincoln then added.

“Alright. I’ll kick your ass later then. I gotta go get ready.” Lexa shouted while running out of the dungeon. She still managed to look and act like a child, Lincoln thought. _What a pleasant sight._

__

 

Clarke sat on the desk chair, leaning her back against it, with a notepad in her right hand and a black pencil in the other. She stared at the piece of paper in her hold, examining her work, the blonde forgot the last time she ever did this, she ever sketched; a slim face, with sharp cheekbones and perfectly lined eyebrows, piercing colourless eyes and fine edged jaw, parted lips revealing what Clarke thought, were very cute bunny teeth.

The blonde was suddenly hit by the strong desire to interpret the brunette’s face on a piece of paper few moments ago, she spent a long period of time seeing nothing but Lexa’s face behind her closed eyelids.

 Then her fingers seemed to grow a mind of their own and started stroking the soft figure, starting along with a softly sketched cheek and towards plump lips. She couldn’t recall the times she tried to deny herself the need to trace her thin fingers along that face, curious about its softness, curious about how many layers of paint she’d have to use to get the right shade of tan skin.

“Clarke!” The blonde heard her name being called by the familiar voice of her partner. She closed the notepad shut and hid it inside the drawer of the desk and got up to face Bellamy who let himself in.

“Something came up?” She questionably asked.

“Our guys lost sight of Anya.” 

Clarke sighed running her sweaty hand within her blonde curls, “Not again!” She grumbled.

“But-“ Bellamy began and Clarke shot her gaze back up again, hoping it was good news. “We might have an address. The guys followed her up towards a mansion far from here. We assume it’s their place?” He informed and handed Clarke a small crumbled piece of paper.

“Finally! You stay here in case our men sent in any other information.” She demanded, “I’ll go take a look. Keep me updated!”.

“Clarke, wai-“ The blonde was out of the door in a second, before Bellamy could even protest.

__

 

Lexa was putting the final touches of make-up on her face, helplessly trying to cover the fading yellowish bruises around her eyes. She grabbed her black combat boots and slipped them on and tied the laces.

 Finally, the brunette thought to herself. She was finally going to do it her way; there was no open negotiation with the Queens. They brought this to themselves. Lexa was thankful that Kane finally realized they were never getting what they wanted in an amicable way; they had to do it the hard way, _Lexa_ ’s way.

The brown haired girl grabbed a packet of cigarettes, lighting one up and bringing it to her dark red lipstick painted lips and drawing the smoke in a long inhale, hoping to ease the nervousness and the aching feeling of fury itching within her insides. 

No one dared to play _Heda_ that dirty and get away with it and Lexa was going to make sure the Queens get the message tonight. Every single passing day brought Lexa closer to revenge, to give herself and her long lost family a closure. She was going to clear their name and there was nothing strong enough to stop her.

__

 

_“What do you have for me, Octavia?”._

The blue eyed girl’s gaze fell once again on the woman before her. She brought the warm cup of tea up to her lips and took a careful sip.

“You met a girl last night. A blonde I think?” She spoke.

“Y-yeah, we did. But how-“ Anya started to question before she got interrupted;

“She’s a… Friend of mine. A cop.” Octavia finally willed herself to spill, ducking her head down in shame. She couldn’t believe she was actually doing this. Ratting her own friends and family, _Bellamy_.

“I was back at her place with a mutual friend of ours, Raven, she works with her at the station too. They thought I was passed out, but I clearly wasn’t and Clarke started talking about meeting the Commander, which I assume was Lexa, because as far as I know there’s no other outlaw to be called as such-“

“Don’t call her that!” Anya warned through gritted teeth, she’s always been so defensive of her goddaughter. It was an expected reaction.

“Right. Sorry! Anyway, She told Raven she’d met L-Lexa.” She explained.

“And?” The woman questioned.

“And nothing. That’s the only thing they talked about. But Clarke asked Raven to keep her mouth shut, for now.”

Anya nodded. Octavia dared a look into the woman’s direction, she was gathering her belongings off the table, pushing the chair back and about to storm back to the exit before she felt a strong grip on her wrist and turned back with a threatening stare.

“Y-you’re not gonna hurt them, right?” Octavia whispered, her lips falling into a pout. Anya just shook her head.

“We’re not as _you_ , people make us to be. We’re not merciless criminals, Octavia. I thought I made that clear.”

The woman felt the shaking grip on her wrist waver and Octavia tilted her head down not actually knowing what to say.

“Be careful on your way back.” Anya pleaded before heading out of the coffee shop leaving Octavia to linger behind.

The brunette was soon left with the heavy burden sinking down her shoulders and unwilling her powers. She tried to grant herself excuses as to why she was doing this. See, Octavia had no other choice but to comply with the older woman’s orders of keeping an eye on her friends and Bellamy, if she wanted to keep them safe and out of this tangled mess. _“It isn’t personal_ ” Anya once told her. She told her that they weren’t the ones who they should fear, but rather the Queens.

If those people ever felt like Bellamy and Clarke’s persuasive and determined steps to unfold the truth, or if they slightly felt like their empire built on rivers of blood was threatened by two young and ambitious detectives, they would just have to eliminate the threat, eliminate _them_.

So Octavia did what she thought was best to do. 

But why does it feel like _treason_.

__

 

Lexa was standing in front of the tall mirror, adjusting the heavy gun within the waistband of her black ripped jeans before the door to her room opened revealing Lincoln.

“ _Heda_! It’s time.” The tall man informed. With his famous white toothy grin and Lexa gently nodded her head.

“Let’s go then.”

__

 

Clarke was still sat inside her grey Sidan parked a little too far from the mansion, her blue eyes fixed on the metal gate guarded by a bunch of suited men. The blonde was nervously tapping her fingers on the wheel, impatiently waiting for anyone to immerge out of that place.

The double doored metal gate suddenly opened, and the men scooted further away to leave enough space for the black SUVs rolling out, she squinted her eyes hoping to get a closer, clearer look until her eyes landed on _her_.

Lex- the _Commander_ , occupying the front passenger seat along with—who she assumed was Lincoln. Clarke roared her car back to life, careful not to be too obvious and risk being spotted by the guards. She waited for a minute before she started slowly driving behind.

__

 

Lexa was sitting on the passenger seat, her right elbow rested on the opened frame of the car, lost in her thoughts. Lexa anticipated this mission for so long.

They’ve been driving for few minutes now and they were still in the middle of nowhere, the sun was setting and she watched as blue shades of the clear sky turned into burning orange. 

The brunette didn’t like orange, but surely admired a beautiful sunset when she saw one.

Her gaze flickered to the rear view mirror and was soon hit with realization. 

“Take the turn on your left!” She ordered Lincoln.

“What? But that leads to-“

“Lincoln!” She firmly warned and the man complied with confused features. The car on their tow soon took the same turn, but Lexa didn’t want to assume too quickly, so she asked again.

“Turn here!” She gestured to another turn on their right and Lincoln complied once again, not questioning Lexa’s orders.

The grey Sidan was still rolling behind them yet again. _They are being followed_ , the brunette was now certain.

“We’re being followed.” She said, and Lincoln glanced at the mirror and realizing what Lexa was talking about.

“We can’t lose them now, it’s an empty road.”

Lexa paused, obviously thinking about what they should do.

“Let’s go back!”.

“But Kan-“.

“Lincoln! Drive back! That’s an order.” Lexa stated coldly. 

Lincoln didn’t dare to argue, so he grabbed the walkie-talkie lying on the cupboard and ordered their men to abort and drive back to the mansion. 

__

 

Clarke was still driving behind the black SUVs making sure to leave a great deal of distance between them. She wondered if they were going to hijack another building or bank back at Boston and whether she should call for back-up, just in case. 

Her thoughts soon were put into hold by the sight of the first front SUV taking a tight, abrupt turn, followed by the others. Clarke slowed the pace of her car as the others passed by it. _Are they going back?_ She wondered. _Wait! Does that mean they kne—_

The loud ringtone that belonged to her phone blared threw the empty space, _Bellamy._

 _“Clarke? Where the hell are you?”_ She heard Bellamy’s concerned tone pleading.

“Where do you think I am? I’m keeping an eye on them, but I think I just got caught following them, they turned back around.” She explained.

 _“Clarke! This isn’t your job and you shouldn’t be there alone, they’re dangerous!”_ Bellamy warned.

“Relax! I’m alright. I’m heading back now; make sure to send some guys up in here alright?”

_“Yeah okay, now please, get your ass back here.”_

Clarke hung up the phone, she glanced back and the SUVs were far long gone.

__

 

“How could this even happen?!” Lexa screamed as she stormed inside the mansion followed by Lincoln.

 “How could you not notice there was someone watching us? What are those men outside the door for? Decoration?” She added, running her white knuckles through her loose brown curls.

“I’m sorry Lexa. We will fix this.” Lincoln promised.

“Then you better go _fucking_ fix it right now.” 

Lincoln nodded; his hands clasped behind his back and turned on his heels towards the exit.

Lexa couldn’t believe what just happened. And it had to happen Now. When she finally got the chance to make Roan regret every deteriorating side-glance he threw her way. 

But _who was it?_ The brunette briefly wondered as she plopped down on the couch. _Who the fuck was it?_

__

 

Anya was leaning her back against the car parked near the edge of the hill, quietly admiring the view in front of her, and thinking. What was she supposed to do with the information she just got given?

Now Anya knew for a fact that the stranger, now with a name— _Clarke_ , wasn’t there as a coincidence, but there was something troubling the woman even more; _Why did she save them?_ How could she take such an idiotic decision as to reveal herself and risk her own life for her sake and Lexa’s?

Her phone buzzed inside her back pocket and she reached her hand down to grab it and answered the call;

“Lincoln.” She greeted.

_“Anya, we need you back here with Lexa.”_

Anya’s body jolted away from the car in sheer concern, “What’s wrong with Lexa? Is she hurt? What happened?” The woman rumbled through stuttering words.

 _“She’s safe, don’t worry. Something unusual happened while we were leaving the house.”_ He clarified

“What thing? Hold on! Where were you guys even going?” Anya impatiently asked waiting for an answer.

“ _Well Kane asked me to go get some files from the Queen’s and she wanted to tag along and I agreed-“_

“Lincoln w-“ The woman interrupted.

 _“Wait! Let me finish.”_ Lincoln paused but soon continued, _“We were driving and Lexa soon figured out we were being followed.”_

Anya stood planted in her place, nothing but confusion painted on her flustered features. 

“I’ll be there in a few. Don’t leave, wait for me! I might have an idea who it was.” She murmured before hanging up _. Clarke._

__

 

Clarke walked through the doors of the station heading towards Bellamy’s desk. The man was seated with numerous papers scattered on his desk and others he kept in his hold.

“Still alive and breathing.” Clarke said, a weak smile drawn on her soft lips and standing beside Bellamy who lifted his gaze to meet hers.

“It’s not funny, Griffin! Something bad could’ve happened to you back there.” Her partner stood up still facing her silhouette.

“Well, nothing happened _, mom_ , so chill!” Clarke said sarcastically but her eyes drifted to the papers Bellamy was holding, “ ‘s that?” She asked.

“A new suspect assumed to be involved in all the past committed crimes.” Bellamy explained handing Clarke the piece of paper. She caught it between her fingers and read the name scribbled on its surface. _Marcus Kane,_ Clarke didn’t know why the name ringed a bell in her mind, it was oddly and surprisingly familiar. _Kane,_ She was certain she heard it before, but _where?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are always welcomed, thanks for reading this pile of bull lol i love you all xx


	8. chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna drop this bomb right here, see if you guys like it.

_Abby stepped into the cafe that she and Kane took a habit of meeting at, ‘Arkadia’ was its name._

_The woman scanned the vast place, her eyes settling down on the man waiting for her, a thick book in his hand and his reading glasses covering his eyes. She smiled. Abby knew Kane always came earlier than he was supposed to in order to enjoy some alone time, either reading his favourite book, ‘The Alchemist”, or just stare out the window._

_The doctor paced through the mass of people towards her friends, reached for the chair and sat there silently until he lifted his eyes to meet hers with a tight lipped smile._

_“’Morning!” Kane greeted first and dropped the book on the table directing his full attention to Abby._

_“Good morning!” She greeted back. Kane motioned for the waiter standing at the edge of the counter._

_“Well, don’t you look… Tired.” He noticed._

_“That’s one way to say I look like a walking dead.” Abby replied, ducking and shaking her head in amusement. The waiter stood there beside their table, “The usual?” He asked and both of them nodded watching the man walk back to the counter._

_“If only all the walking dead looked that beautiful in the early mornings, then yes.”_

_Abby was startled by his comment. Kane has always had a good way with words; he always knew the right things to say._

_“T-thank you.” Abby started, “So? How are you doing exactly?” She added._

_“I’ve seen better days. You?” said Kane leaning his back to the chair and pursing his lips._

_“You know, trying to organize myself between my job and being there for Clarke. She’s a wild one.”_

_“Tell me about it. Teenagers.” He replied keeping the same toothless smile on his features._

_“I actually wanted to talk to you about something. I need your help.” Kane offered._

_“Of course, anything for you.”_

_“You know Lexa right? The child I’ve talked to you about.”_

_“Yeah, what about her?” Abby questioned a little worried._

_“Well..” Marcus paused, wondering how he was going to deliver the unfamiliar news to the doctor, his rumbled thoughts put on hold by the waiter landing two mugs of hot black coffee in front of them._

_“Thank you!” Said Abby to the young man before he turned on his heels leaving them to their business once again._

_“So you were saying?” sha added now looking at Kane._

_“There’s a… Another o-one.”._

_“What do you mean?” The woman confusingly questioned._

_“It’s her b-brother, well, they’re not from the same mother, so to say, they’ve n-never… Met before. No one knows about him besides me and Daniel, her father.”_

_Abby sat there, eyes wide open in sheer confusion helplessly trying to register what she’s just been told, an awkward silent pause surrounding them until the woman finally broke it._

_“How—where was he?”._

_“At Indra’s, but she has a busy schedule and I don’t know what to do with him right now.” Kane explained._

_“How old is he now?”._

_“Four”._

_“Wow..” Abby was speechless._

_“Yeah.”_

_They fell into silence again, both lost in between messy and scattered thoughts._

_“So what do you need my help for exactly?” Abby finally spoke._

_“I don’t know, m-maybe you know someone? I mean someone to take care of him until I can figure some things out? And don’t worry; the money will be no problem.” Abby nodded in understanding. She wasn’t expecting their conversation to take this odd, uncomfortable tone, she also didn’t know what was she actually supposed to do._

_This was a child, a responsibility she’d have to add to the many others she already has._

_“I’ll see what I can do.” She finally offered looking at Kane, who let his shoulders fall in a relieved sigh of appreciation._

_“Thank you.” He acknowledged, smiling._

_“My shift is starting in few minutes, now, if you’ll excuse me—“ Abby excused herself, standing back on her feet, ready to leave before she heard Kane address her one last time;_

_“His name is Aden.” Abby nodded again, and then she was out of the café in a few seconds._

 

It was around 7:30 PM  and Abby was sitting on a bench, staring at the thirteen year old boy jogging with a ball between his legs in the middle of the small grass field. _He’s grown to be a talented beautiful young man_ , the woman noted.

“Yes, Aden!” she then shouted cheering the boy as he skilfully kicked the ball right into the net. Aden ran straight into her welcoming arms, sweaty and dirt covering his face.

“Did you see that?” He said, his dirty feature buried in her chest and Abby’s stomach fluttered with a pleasant familiar emotion, _motherhood_.

“I did! You were great.” She complimented the young boy, holding his face between her hands and wiping a small stain of mud on the tip of his nose and laying a soft kiss on top of it before he abruptly pulled away, his face a bright shade of crimson.

“Abby, no. My friends are gonna see.”

Abby giggled at the stubborn boy and recalled all the times she faced the exact same situation with a younger version of Clarke. 

“Go back there and slay that game, I’m gonna be here waiting for you. We’re going somewhere.” The woman instructed, watching Aden run back to the field and celebrate his goal with his other teammates. 

Once she was left alone, Abby wracked her mind for the possible ways she was going to be sharing with Aden. How was she possibly going to tell him, after all these years, that he still has a family, that he in fact has a bigger _sister_? A sister who also, she, doesn’t know anything about having a brother too.

Nonetheless, The doctor had to do it today, no matter how hard it was or how much it’s gonna cost her to lose.

___

 

“Send out two guys to take a look around the mansion, and tell them to stay there until further notice.” Lincoln ordered one of his men and watched him pace through the gate without questioning; he then reached his hand into his pocket and brought his phone, dialling Kane’s number.

 _“I was a second away from calling to ask you where the hell the files I asked for aren’t on my desk right now.”_ Lincoln heard the man growl through the other side of the phone.

“I know, I’m sorry, but something came up. We were being followed and I have to yet figure out who they are, but we’re working on it.” He replied.

“ _Followed? Well that’s news to me, it never happened before.”_

“Exactly! Anya is going to be here, she said something about knowing who it was.” Lincoln assured.

 _“We’ll talk about this tonight, be there!”_.

“I will.”

Lincoln hang up, turning around to see Anya’s car parked inside, the woman stepped out pacing hurriedly towards him.

“Where’s Lexa?” She asked right away.

“Inside!”. He answered motioning with his thumb back towards the entrance of the house.

“I’ll go talk her down, you wait for me here.” Anya demanded while walking to the front door. 

___

 

Lexa was back inside her room, still a cigarette burning in between her lips, her make-up was washed off but she still kept her outfit and shoes on.

The brunette sat on the chair in her balcony, her gaze wandering the slightly dark skies; it was quiet and a little chilly, she hugged her own body tightly between her arms and sighed, thinking back to the unpleasant events she’d faced in the last hour before she heard faint steps behind her and turned back to see who’s the unexpected guest.

Her eyes met with Anya’s, the woman’s eyes flickered to the cigarette in her hand and let out a long breath.

“Before you start lecturing me, I am well aware this ‘thing’ here is a slow journey towards death, but guess what? I’m not rushed!” Lexa commented in a bitter tone.

Anya walked and crouched in front of her, taking the cigarette away from her hold into her own lips, not failing to notice the brunette’s surprised look.

“What? I haven’t had one of these in years! I miss it.” She admitted blowing the thick smoke into the air.

They fell into a long silent pause before Lexa spoke again, her eyes scanning Anya’s face.

“I suppose Lincoln told you about what happened earlier?”.

“He did, I’m scolding his pretty ass later by the way, but first, I’d have to take yours.” The older woman warned in a firm tone, throwing the cigarette away on the floor and stepping on it.

“What were you thinking when you stupidly decided to go with Lincoln?” Anya started, “This isn’t some kind of game Lexa, it’s dangerous! Promise me that you’ll never do this again without thinking about it or talking to me first!” The woman demanded with a sharp glare.

“Fine, whatever!” The green eyed girl replied, defeated. Lexa didn’t want this argument to take longer time than it actually deserved.

Anya slowly nodded her head and pursed her lips. She was still trying to figure out a decent way to deliver the troubling news to the brunette. Did she have to tell her though? Anya briefly wondered what would be Lexa’s reaction if she ever knew about the stranger’s identity, she actually feared her reaction; Lexa was rational and sometimes couldn’t control her own actions, regretting some of them soon after.

“What are you thinking about” The younger girl asked Anya bringing her out of her scattered thoughts and stroking her thumb on top of the woman’s cold hands.

 _What should I say?_ Anya asked herself. 

“Nothing. I’m just tired.” The older woman finally decided to say.

“How was the meeting with your source by the way?”.

 _Interesting_ , Anya thought to herself before actually saying, “Uneventful. Nothing important.”. Lexa then ducked her head down, looking at her feet.

“I feel l-like I’m somehow paralyzed—“ Lexa suddenly admitted, and Anya’s head shot up, her eyes scanning the younger girl’s face curiously before she heard her speaking again.

“—Like I can’t move or do anything, helpless, j-just standing there and watching my own life slip away from my fingers, Anya—“ Lexa took a pregnant pause to catch her breath, her green, teary eyes connecting to Anya’s, “—I’m t-tired.” The brunette finished, her voice cracking.

Anya felt her heart drop to her knees at the sight. She hasn’t seen Lexa shed a single tear in so long and she wondered how many times the brunette cried herself alone.

Her heart ached, she reached a shaky cold hand and gently wiped the single tear that fell down Lexa’s cheek. Anya didn’t know what to say, so she did what she assumed was better than simple words; she pulled Lexa’s slim frame between her arms and held her. _Lexa must be cold. Lexa hates the cold._ Anya remembered—not that she ever could forget something as important as that.

“Everything’s going to be alright, eventually.” The older woman murmured those quiet words trying desperately to comfort Lexa. “One day, Lexa, this, will be all over.” Anya added whispering, before she felt the younger brunette pull herself away from her arms, wiping her own cheeks, her face diving back into a neutral feature.

Anya knew very well that Lexa wasn’t very fond of physical contacts, the girl denied herself any in so long, scared to feel comfort, to feel safe because she was certain it wouldn’t last.

“So what are we gonna do about the Queens now?” Lexa finally spoke, trying to change the subject.

“I don’t know. We’ll talk about it on dinner once Kane is back from work, I guess.” Anya started, “Which by the way is going to be served in like—“ The woman took a brief look to her watch tied around her left wrist,”—fifteen minutes, so get changed and come find me downstairs.” Anya stood back on her feet and exited the room.

Lexa just whispered a soft ‘okay’ for no one to hear.

__

 

Clarke was now back at her place, struggling to open the can of Chinese food she brought along on her way home; she let out a frustrated huff before finally opening the can of food. The blonde pulled out a fork since she never was good with sticks, and brought a small bite into her mouth and sighed in relief.

The light of the TV burned her eyes in the middle of the dark space. She grabbed the remote and changed the channel.

 _Boston PD was yet again notified with another robbery attempt caused by the Commander_. Clarke heard the news guy speak facing the cameras. _Leaving behind several injured men along with a two missing diamonds of almost six million dollars of worth. The police department failed once again to catch the delinquent who, they stated that they left no trace behin-_

Clarke quickly changed to another channel. She didn’t want to hear about people judging their work and questioning the efforts they’ve been making the past year. It wasn’t that easy. The blonde’s phone rang, pulling her out of her thoughts.

 _“Hi honey!”_ Clarke heard her mother’s greeting voice.

“Hello mom.” She replied.

“ _How’s Boston treating you?”_ Abby asked.

“Mom seriously? I’ve moved here in over a year. But to answer your question, Boston is treating me like crap.” The blonde answered bitterly.

 _“I’m sorry honey._ ”

“It’s fine, I’ve gotten used to it by now. How’s work?”

“ _Well we had a successful heart surgery earlier this morning, so I’m clearly in a better mood-“_ Clarke suddenly heard a muffled little laugh ring from her mother’s side and furrowed her brows in confusion.

“Who’s that?” she then asked.

_“N-no one, listen! I’ll call you back tomorrow, okay? Have a good night sweety.”_

“Goodnight, mom!” Clarke said rolling her eyes and throwing her phone back on the couch before taking another bite of the cold food sitting in her lap.

Her mind drifted to the time when she was following the brunette. Were they possibly aware of the presence of someone behind them? Was that the reason they turned back home? Clarke couldn’t help but to wonder where were they headed to, if she probably could have interrupted another crime they were about to commit.

She knew it was stupid to just pack her things and go follow them, but she also knew she was desperate to get something out of it, anything really. She sighed, and her eyes fell on the silver watch wrapped around her wrist, she reached her free hand and smoothed its surface with her knuckles.

 

_“Is that a new watch?” A ten year old Clarke asked her father, while he was busy tucking her small frame inside the covers on her bed._

_“No, Clarke—“ He said, planting a soft kiss on her forehead, “—And no, you can’t have it.” He said raising his eyebrows._

_“It’s pretty.” She mumbled sleepily and heard her father chuckle in amusement._

_“It was a gift from my father; he gave it to me a long time ago.” The man explained._

_Clarke nodded hiding her blue eyes behind her eyelids letting the darkness sooth the burning in her eyes._

_“Where is he?” the little child asked._

_“Who? My father?” she nodded._

_“Well he’s up there now, in the sky, when people leave us behind on the earth, they turn into stars. That’s how we know they’re still here, with us.” Jake explained once again, soothing his strong hands into his daughter’s golden curls._

_The man watched as Clarke drifted another world. A world Jake hoped was one of happy dreams, filled with chocolate ice cream corns and fictional cartoon characters. A world he hoped was full of screaming bright colours._

____

 

Kane was now settled on the head of the large wooden dining table situated in the corner of their living room, along with Lexa and Anya on his right and Lincoln on his left.

“So what about this thing you told me about, Lincoln? Have you gotten anything yet?” Marcus asked, cutting through the steak, his eyes still fixed on the plate in front of him.

Lincoln suddenly caught Lexa’s wide green eyes as she shook her head ‘no’, pleading him to skip the small detail of her accompanying him.

“Well, a-as I previously said, we were being followed by another car, a gray Sidan, we still don’t know their identity but I have few men trouping around the house in case it happened again.” Lincoln explained. 

Kane nodded in understanding and shifted his arms to lay them on the edge of the large table; he then directed his gaze to Anya.

“Lincoln told me you had an idea who they were?” The man asked and Anya swallowed hardly.

“I—I thought I knew, I assumed it was one of the Queens, but guess not.” The woman stuttered her words.

“Right.” Kane said, with a defeated look before looking at Lexa.

“And what did you do today?”. The brunette swallowed thickly and blinked her eyes a few times.

“W-well I… You know, just hanged around the house.” She lied. But Kane was certain the brunette was hiding something from the motion of her eyelids. He chose to ignore it. For now.

“We’ll be having a guest in the upcoming days by the way.” The man announced watching everyone dropping whatever they were holding and eyes all on him.

“A guest? We’ve never brought a guest in here.” Lincoln started.

“Who is it?” Anya continued, and Lexa just sat there with a confused frown.

“You’ll know once they’re finally here.” Said Kane, grabbing the napkin on his lap and wiping his mouth, before standing away from the table and walking out of the room, leaving everyone baffled behind.

They all questionably looked at each other in silence.

“Well that’s—Interesting…” Lincoln commented.

“Who might they be?” Lexa asked looking at Anya.

“Hey! Don’t look at me, I have no idea.”

And all their attention was soon back to their plates, eating what’s left there in an uncomfortable silence.

___

 

Abby quickly hang up on her daughter before she had yet another matter to explain.

She sat on other side of table, burying her plastic spoon inside the bowl of banana flavoured ice cream; Aden was seated on the other side facing her.

“This is the first time I ever had ice cream for dinner!” The boy across from her suddenly spoke with a toothy grin. _He looked happy_. Abby thought.

“And it’s going to be the last. Sinclair is going to scold us both, so just to make sure again. What did aunt Abby get you for dinner?”

“broccoli. Yak!” Aden repeated the lie making a disgusted face.

Abby chuckled, “Good boy.”

The woman watched the young man dive again into his own bowl of ice cream while he wiggled his body around. Aden was a very energetic boy; he was always jogging and jumping around, never once Abby saw him still. But she wasn’t there for that now; she had a much difficult and delicate matter to handle.

 

_“It’s Lexa.” Abby heard Kane say the girl’s name on the phone._

_“What about her?” She asked._

_“S-she’s, w-well, she’s lost a lot of people, and a lot of hope, and I think we can get some back, we can get her back, Abby, s-she isn’t the same anymore.” Kane explained._

_Abby wondered what Kane meant, what he was getting on to._

_“How could I possibly help with that?” the woman questioned._

_“Well, I was thinking that m-maybe, she’s ready—they’re ready.”_

_Who was he talking about? Wait—_

_“Kane—“_

_“No! J-just please let me finish.” The man on the phone started, but continued once he was granted a silent pause._

_“They both need each other, especially now, I-I can’t hide this anymore, she—They need to know, Abby. They’re going to save each other, I know it’s going to be hard at first, but eventually they will.” Kane finished._

_The ball now was on Abby’s court. She didn’t know what to think or do right now. This was so… Sudden._

_“I don’t know Marcus.” Abby paused, “But I’ll think about it.” She then promised, before hanging up._

 

“So, Aden!” The woman called, bringing the boy’s attention to her once again. _How am I going to do this? Look at his face—_

“Do you remember Mister Kane?”. She nervously asked watching the boy’s face fall.

“Yes. The man who brought me to Sinclair’s.” Aden recalled. “Why?” He added.

“Well he’s back in town. He wants to see you.” She explained, mentally crossing her fingers. There was a brief pause, where the boy fell silent, playing with the plastic spoon in his left hand.

Abby played in her mind every possible reaction Aden has to offer, again and again. Until he spoke.

“Alright.” He simply shrugged his shoulders, “When?” he then added.

_Okay? That was it?_

“Tomorrow, after school. He’ll be waiting for you outside.” She then watched the boy go back into enjoying his dessert, like nothing of the things she just said actually mattered.

__

 

Clarke was now brushing her teeth, her mind slowly drifting on its own accord to the brunette—To _Lexa_. She lost count of the times her mind grew its own _mind_ too, and thought of the green eyed girl. 

The blonde shook her head and spat down the water in her mouth into the sink, turning back on her heels and stepping inside her dull room and settling her body between the cold white sheets.

She closed her blue eyes, hoping to rid herself from those invasive thoughts. 

Several minutes passed and Clarke couldn’t sleep. Her eyes were sandy and burning, she was tired and desperate. Still helplessly trying to find a way to meet Lexa again, of course without the other girl actually knowing who Clarke really was.

 _It was dangerous and stupid,_ Clarke thought, still not that Clarke hasn’t done anything stupid before. The blue eyed girl huffed and turned on her left side, covering her head with another pillow. _Please! Get out of my head,_ Clarke mumbled through unsaid words.

 _I’ll figure it out tomorrow_ , she promised herself. _Tomorrow is a new day._

Clarke closed her eyes back shut, and wondered if tomorrow was coming any time soon.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twitter: @JauresexualHeda  
> Tumble: fforever-alonee   
> Come ask me stuff if you want xo


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is just a chapter to get things moving cause i wouldn't be able to fit all the shit that's gonna happen in just a single chapter.  
> Things are getting serious and all the stories are entangled with eachother, cause you know, Clexa are soulmates!!!  
> We're one step closer to the next Clexa encounter which is gonna take place in the next chapter.

It was around 4 AM when Lexa woke up from her sleep to get a glass of water. The brunette grew a habit of having less than three hours of sleep every night.

She slipped on her flip-flops and stepped out of her room to go downstairs. The girl sighed as she reached the fridge and grabbed a small bottle of cold water and headed back to her dark bedroom. She took a large sip and settled the bottle on top of the wooden nightstand before lying on her back.

She laid there on her bed, with her hands clasped on her stomach, helplessly trying to even out her rapid breaths as she turned her head to the right side and looked out of the opened window. It was still dark outside and the curtains were dancing on the breeze’s slow notes and strokes. She lifted herself up and paced towards the window looking at the dark blue sky and the gentle colour reminded Lexa of a familiar image that’s been stuck on the back of her mind. _Blue. Her eyes were so blue_ , the girl recalled.

It was rare for Lexa to think about anything other than work and worrisome plans she had to make. But there she was, thinking of a stranger, a very infuriating and irritating girl who dared invade the small space in the brunette’s mind; a space Lexa always carefully made sure to keep it empty and hollow, a space imprisoned within walls the brunette had taken so many years to build.

Why was this _girl_ any different? Maybe because she was the only one who stood up to Lexa and talked back, maybe she wouldn’t have done so if she knew who Lexa really was. _But who am I?_ The brunette wordlessly wondered. At least not a cold hearted criminal as everyone thought. The girl suddenly felt the urge to explain herself to the people who claimed they know all about the all mighty Commander—People who didn’t even get the chance to meet the _real_ her, who never talked to Lexa and tried to unlock her mind that was filled with an abnormal and excessive knowledge of space and the galaxies. _Lexa smiled at that._

Everyone failed to admit or even assume that Lexa was just another girl amongst many, a girl who strives for knowledge and intellectual conversations, a girl that fell in love with the stars and chocolate flavoured ice creams.

The brunette’s gaze then fell on the moon, still bright and shining within the stars and wondered if there was anyone struggling with a sleepless night, watching the moon’s light fade as the sky was painted a clearer blue.

 Lexa’s walls were too solid and high she almost wished someone—anyone, would tear them down to the ground.

__

 

Clarke gave up on her defeated attempts to sleep, so she settled herself on top of her window seat with a warm mug filled with black, bitter coffee between her hands. The blonde glanced to the watch hanged on her wall, the ticking was bothersome, _4:23 AM,_ she read, her gaze flying back to the still dark sky, to the _moon_.

It was still quiet outside, few busy people here and there walking down on the sidewalks with purpose, with goals and plans, but did Clarke have any? What was she here to do? Catch the _Commander?_ And then what? What was the purpose of her existence? What was she supposed to do with her life? A dozen questions resurfaced in the back of her mind.

Clarke always had an inner battle, a battle she fought with her own self, a battle she had lost over and over. The blonde young girl was always faced with ultimatums; it’s either _this_ or _that,_ she was always forced to choose, to decide or to pick a side, she never knew how to be diplomatic or neutral.

Clarke was lonely, not hopeful or the least optimistic, she was judgmental, driven but cautious, a dreamer but with limits, Clarke knows herself to be a contradiction, a mix of flavours that don’t go together at all, _salt and sugar_.

She put down her now cold mug of coffee and laid it on a near table willing herself to just stop thinking, to let her mind take a much needed break.

Clarke walked to her room once again and opened the first drawer of her nightstand, her eyes soon fixed on the fabric she has been offered by Lexa— _Lexa._ She reached her sweaty hand and grabbed the material into her hold, bringing it up to her nose and sniffed the lingering smell. It oddly still smelled like _her_ , fruity and sweet, and it was soft against her skin.

 Clarke closed her eyes and allowed her senses to be washed with the gentle smell; she expected to be surrounded with a dark colourless wall but was soon met with wild forest green eyes, _or blue, or grey, or all of these_ ; Clarke almost reached her free hand to caress the tan skin but she didn’t, she was simply hit with the realization of her illusions, she blinked open her blue eyes and put back the soft material back into its place, closing the drawer.

The blonde soon opened another one, revealing a pencil and a thick, white and clean piece of paper and sat down with her back pressed against the headboard of her bed, legs stretched in front of her.

She stared into the empty paper, the pencil still captive in her shaking hand and finally started to caress its tip on the surface. Clarke started to draw and it felt so unfamiliar now, like she never held a simple pen in her entire life. But it all seemed to go back into place when the blonde’s drawing started to make sense, to gain a breath, to take surface into Clarke’s dull life and Clarke wanted nothing more than to use colours, _again_.

__

 

It was now 7:30 AM when Lexa heard a loud knock on her bedroom door followed by a loud voice;

“I’m coming in!”.

Lexa was just done lacing her combat boots when Anya opened the door and stepped inside.

“Come on! You’re late for breakfast.” Anya said, picking up a small hairbrush lying on top of Lexa’s bed. The woman settled herself on its edge and pulled the brunette to sit between her legs and started running the brush between her long brown curls.

Lexa chuckled.

“How did you sleep?” Anya asked.

“Good. I slept well.” Lexa lied nodding her head earning a slap on her shoulder.

“Stay still!”

The girls fell into silence and Lexa was fiddling with her fingers, her head tilted down.

“Lincoln and I are going to go clubbing tonight.” Anya started, breaking the silence. “Care to join us, _Commander_?” She finished.

“I don’t know, Anya. I don’t really feel like it.”

“Come on. It’s always fun to watch Lincoln dancing shirtless on a table.” Anya mused as she grabbed the hair tie that circled her wrist and tied Lexa’s hair in a high bun.

Lexa slightly turned to look at the woman.

“Fun for _you_ , not so much for me. You know what way I swing, and manly abs never been quite a good sight for my eyes.” She said, a genuine amused smile painting her features. She always thought that Lincoln and Anya had a little thing for each other, not that they care to admit it themselves.

“I’m sure there will be a bunch of sexy kittens dancing around too.” Anya paused sending a pouty pleading look towards the brunette.

“Fine!” Lexa rolled her eyes and got back on her feet, looking at Anya who shot both her arms up in celebration. “What time shall we go?” she added, questioning.

“After dinner. Around 9 PM.”

“Alright, let’s go get some food now, I’m starving.”

The girls stepped out of Lexa’s room walking down the stairs and finding Lincoln and Kane already busy with breakfast at the table. Lexa and Anya took their usual seats.

“Good morning!” they both greeted, watching while Kane wiped his mouth with the white napkin sitting on the side and getting up off his chair.

“What? You leaving already?” Anya spoke.

“Yes! I have some important stuff to do today.” The bearded man started, “I trust that you’re all going to be fine and _careful_ today.” He continued driving his eyes to Lexa’s direction.

“Yeah right, _grandpa!_ ” Anya mocked, earning an audible giggle from both Lincoln and Lexa.

“Sure, yeah, make fun of me! Let’s just wait until you’re all fat old hairy people and trying to run after your children.” Kane bit back sarcastically while grabbing his phone and walking towards the exit. “Have a nice day _kids!”_ He then shouted before stepping outside.

They were all pleased to see _this_ side of Marcus Kane. The bubbly, funny and careless side he showed no one outside their safe circle. All the people that have encountered the businessman made him to be excessively firm and serious, they would even as look confused if they caught sight of him smiling. For Lexa, Lincoln and Anya, Kane was their saviour, a man—who not only kept them safe—but a man who cared and loved them with every atom he was made of, for them—Kane was a _father._

“So? Did Anya tell you about our plans for the night?” Lincoln said interrupting the silence.

“Yeah! And I better not drive your drunken butts home, _Again!_ ” Lexa warned as she sipped on her orange juice.

“Not tonight. One of our guys will be driving us back once we’re finished.” Anya assured the brunette.

It had been quiet after that; the only sound is the one of forks colliding into their plates, until Lexa finally spoke;

“Are we not gonna do anything about the Queens?”

“Kane asked us to let it go for a little while. You know, until things cool down.” Lincoln replied.

“There’s another job we have to get on in couple days anyway. The Boston Private Bank.” Anya informed, pulling away her chair and standing on her feet.

“ _Again?”_ Lexa questioned. _They already robbed the poor people_. “But isn’t it dangerous to go back again? They doubled their security, not to mention all the extra surveillance cameras they’ve installed.” The brunette added looking at Anya who was still standing by the side of the table.

“That never stopped us, _you_ , of all people know that.” Lincoln engaged pointing his finger in Lexa’s direction.

“I never said it could stop us, but didn’t we have to plan this earlier?”

“Kane already did, said we’ll talk about this at dinner.” Anya explained and Lexa let out a groan.

“I assume that we’re not going for the money?” The younger girl wondered.

“Nope! I guess there’s a couple of files that Cage Wallace is keeping there, nothing’s confirmed.”

 _Cage._ Lexa clenched her jaw remembering who the name belonged to. Cage Wallace was one of her father’s partners, the one of many others who threw her father under the bus. Lexa couldn’t wait until the day she finally lays her hands on that piece of scum.

__

 

It was 8:30 AM and Clarke was late for work. It happened for the first time, the girl was never late, she blamed it on herself for staying awake all night, and for what? _Drawing?_ Clarke felt stupid.

She jogged on the sidewalk, her body colliding with the many people pacing and running on their way until she reached for the door of the police department and marched inside, greeting few of her busy co-workers.

“Well ain’t that a first?” Clarke heard the familiar voice that belonged to Raven. She walked towards her office holding her fresh cup of Starbucks’ coffee.

“Well good morning to you too, Officer Reyes!” the blonde breathlessly greeted as she plopped herself down on her chair followed inside by the Latina.

Raven scanned Clarke’s figure as the blonde closed her eyes and leaned her back against the chair.

“Wow you look… _Terrible_.” She commented.

“You’re so nice to me, I’m very touched.” Clarke said with her eyes still closed and Raven let out a quiet chuckle.

“Didn’t have much sleep?” Raven asked crossing her arms on her chest and taking a seat on the chair facing Clarke’s desk.

“Yeah.” Clarke simply replied.

“Is your conscious giving you a hard time?”

“Raven, plea—“

“No, Clarke! I’m just really worried about you.” Raven started, “You should have told them, at least give them descriptions, this is serious.”

Clarke straightened her pose and faced Raven, slamming her hands on her empty desk, letting out a frustrated huff. Her blue eyes looking anywhere but Raven’s direction.

The Latina took a long inhale of breath and tilted her upper body forward and took one of Clarke’s hand in her own for a small attempt of comfort and watched Clarke’s eyes finally dart up to meet hers.

“Clarke! Listen! I get it, I do. I know how hard this is for you and how much you worked for it. But don’t forget how much the others worked for it too.” Raven started, “You’re not the only one concerned about this. Think about Bellamy, that guy has been working on this case before you even showed up here.” The Latina finished.

Clarke nodded. _How could I be this selfish?_ She thought to herself. How could she forget that so many people too, have been making an immense effort—if not more—into this case?

“Y-you’re right, I’m sorry I-“

“Clarke, no! I’m not saying this to make you feel bad. I’m just here to remind you of how much is _this_ important for all of us; I’m your friend before being just a colleague.” Raven explained letting go of Clarke’s hand. The blonde’s face fell into a weak smile.

“I know. Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind.” Clarke promised. Raven smiled back.

“Anyway! So O’ called last night—“

“Oh no.” Clarke’s eyebrows shot up earning a chuckle from the Latina.

“—Yeah! She wants another girls’ night out, tonight.” The brunette informed.

“She’s just looking for another excuse to get drunk!”.

“I kinda am too. Our night got screwed over last time, so why not try again? Plus, we all need some break, especially _you_!”.

Clarke sipped on her coffee and sighed, looking thoughtful but obviously defeated.

“Come on, detective Griffin! Ain’t nothing bad about getting drunk on a Friday night. Also, who knows? You might get lucky tonight?” Raven suggested with a playful smirk and winked at the blonde.

“Alright, fine! Now will you please hop off my back and let me get some paper work done? You’re a very bad influence; the Chief would be disappointed with his favourite Tech.” The blonde agreed and said with an amused look on her pale features.

Raven stepped away from the chair, rubbing her hands on her thighs;

“Great! Don’t forget! 9:30 PM at ‘Grounders’.” The Latina said before leaving Clarke behind to her own business.

__

 

Kane glanced at his expensive white gold watch, _11:45 AM._ Then he picked up the office phone and dialled his assistant number.

“ _Mr Kane?”_ Marcus heard.

 _“_ Harper! Would you please call in one of our drivers? I have somewhere to be in half an hour.” Kane ordered politely.

_“Right away, Sir! Oh, and Time Magazine called again this morning. They still wonder if you’re free for the interview they have been asking for.”_

Kane paused for a short moment, thinking of a fit answer before he spoke again;

“Call them back, and tell them I’m going to be busy the whole week, we’ll schedule a meeting with them in the next.”

_“Alright! Anything else you need me to do, Sir?”_

“That would be all, thank you.” Kane said before hanging up and turning in his chair to face the large windows of his office. _Today is the day,_ the man thought. He was finally going to meet Aden after nine long years.

Kane was nervous and scared about Aden’s reaction when he would finally tell him that he had a _sister_. He also spent numerous sleepless nights thinking about Lexa’s. But he knew this had to happen at some point; that Lexa deserves to know, both of them do.

Kane imagined various scenarios of the siblings’ first encounter; would they break into tears and hold each other crying? Would Lexa accept the fact that _Daniel_ , her father, had cheated on her mother a long time ago or would she simply understand that _Aden_ , was just the fruit grown out of an unforgiven affair, an unfortunate mistake?

Kane didn’t know, but he sure hoped things will be taking a better turn after this, they had to.

“Your car is ready, Mr Kane!” Harper said stepping inside his office.

“Very well.” Kane replied, getting up from his leather chair and buttoning his vest before walking towards the door. _Lexa’s life shall get better_. The man wordlessly prayed.

___

 

Abby stood in front of the all familiar door to her dear, old friend and knocked, waiting for answer, until the door swung open, revealing the man.

“Abby! Welcome!” the man greeted pulling the sergeant into a brief hug, before stepping aside and motioning for the woman to get inside.

“Sinclair, it’s been a long time.” Abby said, sitting down on a fluffy couch.

“I know. I’m sorry, we’ve been busy” Sinclair started explaining himself while gathering the scattered items that Aden left behind on the couch.

“By the way, thank you for picking up Aden from the game, he was thrilled to see you.” The man said while laying the items on top of the coffee table, “Want something to drink?” he then offered.

“N-no, thanks, I’m good. J-just—could you sit down for a minute? I have something to tell you.” Abby asked, finding hard to speak through the burning nerves.

Sinclair took a seat beside the doctor with a confused, worried look on his aged, tired face.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, n-no.” Abby shook her head, “It’s about Aden.”

“What’s wrong with Aden?”

“Well, y-you know about Marcus Kane, right?” The woman nervously asked, rubbing her sweaty hands together and looking as Sinclair’s face fell into a frown.

“What about Kane?” Abby opened her mouth in an attempt to answer the man’s question before he cut her out, “Listen! If he thinks that we’re easily giving him back the boy, then he’s wrong, and stupid.”

Abby shook her head again;

“N-no, he just wants Aden to meet his sister, Lexa is-“

“No! Hell no—“ Sinclair cut in again.

“No, listen! He just wants him over for few days; help them get to know each other, Siclair, please think about the other girl.” Abby pleaded holding the man’s hand in hers, “Please! They have to know.”

Sinclair’s eyes fell to his feet and his shoulders fell down in a heavy sigh.

“What—what if they take him away? What if h—he never wants to be back? Abby I—“

“No! He wouldn’t do that, he loves you, but he also needs to meet his sister. Please… Try to understand.” Abby pleaded again, trying to lock her friend’s eyes with hers.

Sinclair turned silent and Abby mentally crossed her fingers, she hoped the man would understand why she was asking him this favour, why they had to do this sooner better than later. She scanned his features looking for any sign of resistance, of rejection, but didn’t find any.

The man turned his head to face her with a defeated look that tore her heart before he spoke again the words that Abby never expected to come so easily, with less words of conviction than she came prepared to utter.

“Okay.” He whispered. “W—when?” Sinclair questioned.

“T—today! After school.” She explained and Sinclair just nodded.

_Okay._

__

 

“I heard you have something that belongs to me?” said Wallace, sitting on one side of the lunch restaurant table, while Nia sat on the other.

“Is that so?.” The woman replied, wiping her already clean mouth with the red napkin sitting on her lap and meeting the other man’s gaze with cold blue eyes.

“Don’t play games with me, Nia!” Cage warned, tapping his pointer finger on the table.

“I fail to see the point of this lunch meeting. Why don’t you get right into it?”

“Alright!” He said, leaning his body forward and ducking his head closely towards the blue eyed woman. “Those files you have, they’re mine and I want them back. They contain information, some data that could incriminate me and put my whole company and the work I have put to build it in danger.” The man confessed.

Nia nodded in acknowledgment, still holding a firm pose.

“I see..” She paused, “And what do I exactly get in return? That is in case I have said files of course.” She then asked.

“If money is what you want, then I have it. Here’s an empty check, type down any amount you please.” Cage offered, slapping a check on the table and dragging it towards Nia.

Nia chuckled mischievously.

“I don’t need your money, Cage!” She irritably mumbled through gritted teeth.

“Then what do you want?” Wallace asked, a confused look now drawn all over his face.

Nia leaned rested both her elbows on the table and crossed her fingers laying her head on top of her hands and held the man’s questioning stare before finally speaking.

“I want _Lexa_ ’s head.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget kudos and comments, i would love if you guys supported this story.  
> Twitter: @JauresexualHeda  
> Tumblr: fforever-alonee


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what to say about this. The events will continue in next chapter.  
> This one is another one to organize the plot. But please, enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, please, if you want to cretique this work, or in case you don't enjoy what you're reading please tell me, i'll try to improve myself.

Lexa got inside her yellow Camaro, ready to head to the company; she plunged the keys into the ignition to start the car and drove outside the metal gate.

It took the brunette a whole forty minutes to finally park her favourite car beside the building’s entrance, stepping out of it and handing the man waiting on the door her keys.

Lexa was met with dozens of bewildered glances and quiet whispers, she didn’t do usually go to work, although she had her own office and place as a shareholder. The green eyed girl stepped inside the silver, vast elevator and tapped the number leading to her floor, impatiently waiting for it to finally stop. The girl wasn’t at all a fan of closed and narrow places, they gave her anxiety.

Once the elevator dinged, signalling Lexa to step out, she walked slowly towards her office. 

“Miss Woods!” Miller—her secretary, suddenly greeted, getting up from behind his desk and walking behind the young woman and into her bureau.

“Good morning, Miller. Long-time no see huh?” Lexa greeted the young man back while dropping her phone on the wooden desk and plopping her body on the leather desk chair, w wide grin plastered on her pale face.

“You’ve been missed, Miss Woods. We’re glad to have you back—“.

“Speak for yourself Mr Miller!” Titus cut the man in, marching inside Lexa’s office without granted permission.

“I—“ Miller started but was abruptly interrupted by the brunette’s demanding, authoritative voice.

“Leave us!”.

The secretary then weakly nodded his head and walked outside the room, closing the large door behind him. Lexa turned on her chair and faced the large glass windows, the view was dull and too… _Grey?_ Lexa admitted wordlessly, surrounded by the unpleasant white noise, until Titus, the executive director addressed her.

“This is unacceptable, _Heda_! You’re being irresponsible and selfish!”. The bald man accused.

“How many times do I have to ask you not to talk to me in such a disrespectful tone?” Lexa still with her back to him said with a sharp whisper, her tone showing well enough how irritated she was.

“Respect is earned _Heda!_ Do you feel like you’ve earned yours?”. Titus bit back.

“Enough!” The brunette stood up from her chair and turned to face Titus, “If you don’t have anything interesting or useful to say—then you’re excused.” Lexa warned with a hushed tone, rolling her eyes behind her closed eyelids and slamming her right palm against her desk.

“Very well.” Titus said blinking his eyes rapidly and pursing his lips, defeated.

“Since you’ve missed so many board meetings, you have to sign some reports—a lot of reports.” He emphasised. “Mister Miller would be glad to enlighten you on the other things you have to finish doing today.” He finished, his gaze still scanning Lexa’s figure far before him.

“Send him in on your way out.” The brunette ordered coldly, watching Titus nod his head down obediently.

Titus was one of the many trusted men that worked along Kane since the beginning of his career, both men met when they were still ordinary architects, they were still beginners. But their professional life took a whole new turn when they both received a job to work on the Jean Nouvel’s tower back in New York—which wasn’t even built yet, but already made an outstanding and impressive amount of sales.

“Miss Woods?” Lexa suddenly heard Miller speaking from the step of the room’s door, and Lexa’s eyes fell on the bunch of files the man held tightly between his arms. _This day can’t get any worst!_ Lexa thought to herself.

___

 

Clarke was still typing the reports she was supposed to work on the previous week when she heard a loud knock on her office door and then her blue eyes met with Bellamy’s brown ones.

“Hey, Bell!” The younger detective greeted.

“Still typing those reports I see.” Bellamy noticed, leaning against the door frame, and then stepping away from it to walk towards Clarke’s desk and settled down on a chair.

“Yeah.” Bellamy smiled sending an apologetic look at the blonde who soon caught his gaze with hers.

Bellamy fell silent, his eyes still scanning Clarke’s face, until the younger detective cleared her throat and ducked her head down, looking at the papers scattered on the desk.

Bellamy blinked his eyes shut shaking his head and finally broke the awkward silence.

“R-right! So.. I was thinking that m-maybe you and I could go have some dinner after your shift is over? What do you say?” Bellamy asked nervously, looking anywhere but Clarke’s face.

Clarke looked up at her partner startled, _is he asking me out?_ The blonde always managed to notice the sneaky, long glances Bellamy used to throw in the middle of a conversation or simply when Clarke was just around, but never thought those glances meant anything more than a friendly kind of admiration.

Bellamy was a good man, a very respectful, sweet man Clarke knew that much, but didn’t even think twice about the possibility that her partner might be slightly into her, in _that_ way.

“I-… I don’t know. If I ever get to finish work t-then… Yeah, of course. Why not?” the blonde answered stuttering, settling her forearms on the surface of the desk. Bellamy’s face broke into a large toothy grin, his eyes shining so bright, they almost looked teary. _So endearing_ , Clarke admitted to herself, and smiled.

“Okay! Great! So should I pick you up from yours or…” The man drew out his question standing on his feet and slapping his palms on his thighs.

“Y-Yeah, you know, I’d have to take a shower and change first.” Clarke explained looking up at her partner.

“Okay cool. So pick you up at say—7?” Clarke nodded still a toothless smile painted her rosy lips.

“So it’s a d-date?” Bellamy offered hesitantly.

Clarke froze. _A date?_ The blonde haven’t been to one of those said dates in so long, since her last break up with a man named Finn Collins back when she was still in New York.

After they both tried to work out a long distance relationship, Clarke fell into a very busy schedule at work, she barely had time to sleep at night, and Finn wasn’t tolerating Clarke neglecting his existence, so one day he just called her at night, before she went to bed and decided—alone—to end their two years long commitment. And since that day the blonde just had a few short relationships and a few one night stands here and there.

Now Clarke was also hesitant into giving Bellamy a chance, not scared for her own sake, but for his own. But after giving it a second thought, the young detective saw no harm in trying to indulge herself into that familiar area again, maybe this would break the boring routine that was eating at her insides. _I can do it!_ She encouraged and willed herself to speak and drag Bellamy away from his obvious struggle;

“It’s a date!”.

__

 

It was 1 PM and Kane was still waiting inside his car for Aden, outside the doors of the young boy’s school. The man downed the whole glass of whiskey that was held in his right hand in one gulp and squeezed his eyes tightly shut. He shook his head in an attempt to rid himself from the sore feeling invading his mouth.

He was nervous. Kane was never _this_ nervous. He always had some kind of control over his nerves, but he could also excuse his behaviour since he has too much on stake now. This was important, this thing, was going to determine the future course of so many lives.

The burden that Kane held on his shoulders was sometimes too much to handle sometimes, even for a strong, fearless man like him.

What Kane feared most was Lexa. The girl was probably going to hate his guts if she knew that he had been hiding such information for so many years. That she shall hold him accountable for whatever pain she was going to endure after this.

But he had to do it anyway. Despite the girl’s future agony, Kane was doing what was best for her—what was best for her and _Aden._

 _Aden_.

“The boy is waiting outside the gate, Sir.” Kane heard his driver speaking. He laid the empty glass on a small metal shelf and reached his hand to open the back passenger door.

As the man stepped out of his car, his eyes searched for the young boy around the school’s entrance; after a few seconds, his gaze fell on a dirty blond, tall boy, wearing a blue blouse that was covering a white, clean shirt and ripped blue jeans concealed with black boots. _He dresses so much like Lexa._ Kane smiled to himself and walked towards the boy waiting for him.

As soon as he was at the teenager’s side, Aden finally looked up at Kane’s features.

“H-hi! I’m A-Aden.” The boy stuttered, and Kane’s tight lipped smile turned into a wide genuine grin.

“Hello, Aden! I’m Marcus Kane” Kane offered his left hand for the boy to take.

Aden did.

“Please, Just call me Marcus.” Kane offered. “Shall we?” The man offered again, gesturing to his car and watched Aden’s face fall into what he thought was amazement.

“Woah! Is that your car?” Aden asked as they started walking into its direction.

“Yeah! It’s a pretty one right?”

“I could think of a few cooler words to describe it.” Aden answered sarcastically, earning a soft chuckle from Kane.

They both stepped inside the vehicle and took their seats before the boy spoke again;

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see once we get there.” Kane simply answered, nodding his head forward, motioning for the driver to take off.

__

 

 _5:38 PM_ , Clarke read on her watch. There wasn’t much left from the paperwork she’s been working on the whole day, the blonde was now so used to work on the field that being inside, surrounded by four dark walls was suffocating her.

Clarke gathered the files lying on her desk and tucked all of them inside the top drawer and then locked it with her key. She grabbed her phone and apartment keys and slipped them inside her vest’s pocket before heading out of her office.

“See you later Rae!” She shouted at Raven who was still busy typing something on the computer.

“Where’re you going? You still have thirty minutes until your shift is over!” Raven shouted back from behind her desk.

Clarke threw a warm glance at a smiling Bellamy and smiled in return; Raven didn’t fail to notice the brief interaction with a confused look.

“Gotta a date tonight. I need some extra time to get ready.” Clarke explained.

“No. Way..” The Tech spoke in sheer surprise, watching Clarke walk outside the station.

“Yes. Way!” said Bellamy in amusement.

__

 

Lexa was doodling on the clipboard that lied on top of her desk when she saw Anya’s figure barging inside her office, and walking to stand right beside the green eyed girl, her eyes then fixed on what Lexa was doing.

“I see that you’re extremely busy with work, _Heda!”_ Anya commented with a sarcastic smirk, her eyes now flickering from the piece of paper to Lexa’s green eyes.

“What’re you doing here Anya? Aren’t you supposed to be babysitting Lincoln?” Lexa rolled her eyes.

“Eh—I’m sure he can manage something on his own.” Anya turned Lexa around in her leather chair, and kept turning her in circles eliciting a loud giggle concealed with a childish squeal.

 Lexa’s eyes were tightly shut, her smile wide revealing crystal clear teeth and there was nothing Anya wouldn’t do to keep those gentle, sincere features on the younger girl’s face, Nothing she wouldn’t do keep the sound of Lexa’s giggle ringing inside her ears alive for a very long eternity.

Anya’s gut clenched and her stomach’s muscles hurt from letting out her own giggle too, both women filling Lexa’s monotone work environment with lively erupting childish giggles.

“Anya! P-please—stop! I’m gonn-“ And those were the last words Lexa uttered before her body connected with—thankfully—the carpeted floor.

“Oh my god! Let me just… Don’t move!” Anya said making Lexa wonder why the hell wasn’t the other woman helping her off the ground yet. She watched Anya, as the older woman grabbed her phone and suddenly started to snap multiple picture of Lexa.

Anya’s cheeks were flushed, painted with a beautiful pale shade of pink, her chest heaving with every pant. The grin that stretched her lips made Lexa match it with an even bigger one.

“You’re such a good friend, how did I get this lucky?” the green eyed girl said sarcastically, reaching both her hands to the edge of her desk before pulling herself up on her feet again.

“Those will make great blackmailing materials!” Anya said ignoring Lexa’s comment and pointing to one of the pictures on her phone and turning it for Lexa to see.

Lexa groaned, obviously not pleased.

“Whatever!” the younger brunette started and plopped herself back into her chair, “What brought you here?” she finished questionably.

“The house got boring, so I thought ‘why not visit my small bean and—“

“Anya—“.

“—pick her up from work?’ And Lincoln was kinda’ annoying the crap outta’ me with his stupid collection of Pokemon cards! He’s a fucking child I’m telling you!” Anya took the clipboard into her hands before Lexa snatched it back into hers, and Anya let out a soft chuckle.

“So, here I am!” The older woman paused and straightened her back as a gesture to try and show her presence to Lexa. “Let’s go home, it’s 6 PM already, can’t run late for dinner, I know you’re starving.” Anya finished her plea, trying to gawk Lexa’s reaction sending the girl an exaggerated pout.

Lexa smiled at that. There was no need for Anya to buy Lexa’s agreement to something she wanted to do, Lexa was always willing to comply with whatever the older woman suggested—but not after putting up a little fight, just for her own amusement. But now, seeing that precious look on Anya’s face was Lexa’s first step into defeat.

“Alright! Let me just hand these files to Miller.” The brunette gathered the papers into one single, large file and patted them with her palms. “Poor guys, been helping me out all day.”

“He’s quiet precious, yeah.”

The two women walked side by side to the office door and stepped out of it. Lexa soon slapped the pile of finished paper works on the young secretary’s bureau.

“Here you go, Miller! All done! Tell Titus that I left, and that we’ll be having another board meeting just because— _Heda_ said so.” Lexa finished while Miller was still standing beside her and scribbling the notes on his notepad.

“Okay, got it!”.

“Have a good evening Miller!” Shouted Anya as she paced hurriedly to catch up with Lexa then both disappearing inside the elevator.

___

 

It was now around 6:15 PM and Clarke was still in the shower, enjoying to hot droplets of water warming her body. Her sky blue eyes hidden behind her eyelids, as if Clarke had no intention of stepping back into the real world.

 _I have a date!_ Clarke unbelievably repeated to herself. She still couldn’t comprehend how she finally convinced herself to give the man a chance, to give herself a chance.

For most people, relationships are fairly easy things. They come as naturally to life as breathing or making a meal. But that was never the case for Clarke Griffin. Everything Clarke felt seemed more intense and scary, the blonde’s mind always haunted with ‘what ifs’, endless possibilities, always asking herself;

‘ _what if he cheats on me?’_

_‘what if I’m not worth it?’_

_‘what if I’m not enough?’_

_‘what if  he wakes up one day and just—just decides that he doesn’t like me anymore?’_

_‘what if I ruin this? Again’_

_No_! Clarke won’t let herself go down there again, she won’t allow herself to stay feel scared of something as vital as love. The young woman couldn’t afford another failure.

So Clarke shook her head and blinked her blue eyes open, and then stepped away from the warm stream of water, her golden curls still dripping and her whole body completely wet. She grabbed the white cotton towel hanging on her door.

The blonde’s heart was pounding quickly, her thoughts muddled. Clarke was scared, that was _fear_ ; everything around her seems to speed up while every movement she does slows down.  That sense of anxiety when you realize your failure impending if you can't move quickly enough.

Clarke pushed her hand up and grabbing the towel and circling her chilled skin with the material. She walked out of the foggy shower, dragging along those venomous thoughts, hopelessly out of her mind.

Clarke walked barefoot, slowly towards the closet. She scanned the different shades of clothes she had inside, and she finally settled on wearing a simple blue ankle pants alone with a white tank top and a Varsity bomber jacket with a structure provided on the cuffs, hem and collar by a contrasting of black and white, the red wine shade stays rich, despite the casual cut.

She grabs her outfit and throws it on the bed and heading back to the shower in order to bring her hairdryer and get on with whatever is this leading to.

__

 

Once Clarke is done putting on her clothes, she slips on a pair of black, old converse and suddenly hears a soft, shy knock on her front door. Already assuming who it was, the blonde paced quickly towards the door and swung it open to be finally greeted with a blinding white, toothy smile.

 _Bellamy_ , his outfit almost matching Clarke’s, he stood on the door step wearing beige fitting pants, a white shirt and a bomber jacket the same color as the blonde’s. His hair still looking as messy and fumbled as always.

“We match!” Bellamy declared interrupting the younger detective from her shameless staring. The girl forced her eyes to blink a few times and willed her brain to think of using actual words, because Clarke thought she looked overly stupid and _thirsty_. She was now seeing Bellamy in a whole new light.

“Y-yeah.. I can see th-that.” Clarke forced herself to speak stuttering on her words, “Come in! I’ll be done in a minute.” Offered Clarke, while stepping aside and holding the door open for her date.

“Um- You look really p-pretty.” Bellamy soon complimented as he stood close facing his partner.

“Thanks! You look nice too.”

“Alright. I’ll wait right here, go do your thing!”

“Y-yeah! Be right back.” And Clarke turned to her left disappearing behind the hallway and into her room.

___

 

After an hour drive to the mansion, Kane’s car neared the top of the hill where the glorious and the castle-looking house peaked from its top. Aden’s gaze fell on it and his mouth gaped and his eyes shot wide open.

“I-is that—“

“Yes!” Kane started, slowly nodding his head towards the mansion as the car approached closer towards the house and the driver pulled it into a stop waiting for the metal gates to open.

“How do you feel about staying few days here? With us.” Kane finished asking nervously, his stomach shifting uneasily and felt like it was knotting up, the man gnawed on the inside of his cheek and waited for the young boy’s answer.

Aden on the other hand, was still scanning the house before him with his head peeking out of the car’s window, his face’s features invaded by numerous different expressions. They traveled from bewilderment to confusion in a span of a second, Kane noticed.

“Why?”. Aden asked, bringing his head back inside as the driver strode the car inside the fort and parked it right in front of the entrance. The man tramped towards the back door and held it open for Kane as he finally stepped out followed by Aden.

“I want you to meet my family.” _Your family._ Kane wanted desperately to say. The boy was now standing by Kane’s side, eyes dancing through the place, scanning every well-structured detail.

“I’d have to ask Sinclair first. I don’t know if I’m allowed to stay over.” Aden replied, his eyes still fixed on his surroundings.

“Don’t worry, Abby talked to him. He’ll be fine.” Explained the old man while he grabbed Aden’s right hand in his own, _his hand was so strong_!  

Marcus led Aden by his hand into the unfamiliar inner walls of his house and hoped. Kane strongly hoped things would be different from now on, the man believed that there’s going to be something better than what they’re all experiencing… whether it’s good or bad… there’s always going to be a new height. _Yeah_. Kane whispered to himself. _Hope._

__

 

Lexa was once again inside the confines of her room, fumbling with the cold white sheets between her fingers. She changed into another outfit; a Nirvana black T-shirt, tight blue ripped jeans at her knees and a black-red flannel tied around her slim figure at the level of the waistband of her jeans; her brown curls were loose and spread through the soft pillows.

Lexa was thinking, again. Thinking of the only person that was invading her mind for the past few days, the green eyed girl didn’t know why and how she was so easily captivated with the stranger’s eyes, how the other girl held her stare and how her pupils dilated, scanning every inch of Lexa’s face. Lexa’s stomach twisted at the memory.

“Lexa!’ The brunette’s muddled thoughts were abruptly and intrusively interrupted by a breathless Anya, barging inside her room without permission. Lexa sat up shaking her head.

“What!” the girl whispered questioning.

“Kane is here!”.

“And..?”. Lexa questioned again.

“He brought someone in—a kid.” Anya informed the younger girl and watched her face as her brows furrowed and her eyes narrowed in confusion.

“A chil—“ the younger girl questioned once again, stuttering, “—who is he?”. She finished.

“I have no idea, said we’ll talk about it over dinner, together.”

“Alright I’m coming down in a minute.”

“You’re the only one missing at the table, like please! Hurry up I can’t wait for the juicy drama that’s waiting downstairs, do you think it’s Kane’s—“ Anya was cut off by Lexa’s arms pushing her out of the room.

“Rude!” the older woman shouted once she was outside and Lexa slammed the door in her face.

Lexa leaned her head back against the door and sighed quietly. _Okay, let’s do this!_ She braved herself.

___

 

Clarke’s date was a lot pleasant than she thought it would be. Bellamy saying all the right things to make Clarke’s smile remain; his rough hands grazed hers ‘accidentally’ and the blonde’s pale face would turn into crimson.

Clarke kind of missed this. The affectionate gazes, the not-so-subtle touches and the genuine smiles were becoming indispensable for Clarke. She didn’t know why it felt no soothing to have Bellamy’s eyes on her silhouette, lingering her easiness and softening her halo. The man sometimes shyly ducks his head down pretending to take a sudden interest in the empty plate before him.

But why? Why was it so pleasing? Why was Clarke still… _empty._ Clarke expected her stomach to flutter, she expected her heart beat to pick speed, the blonde expected to never want this time she’s spending in the boy’s company to ever end. But no, Clarke couldn’t wait for dinner to be over as the uneasiness slowly sipped into her soul. The woman suddenly felt so much different, like she wasn’t the same person anymore.

She reached her left hand to the back of her neck and scratched the itching skin. Her eyes were looking everywhere but Bellamy. The man picked up on Clarke’s discomfort.

“What’s wrong? Was the wine that bad? I’m sorr—“.

“No!” Clarke shot up in a sharp yelp, like her skin go burned with a lit match. “No..no! It was good, I swear! I’m.. I’m just tired, you know, I had a lot of work today.” The blonde finished.

“Oh! W-would you like me to drive you home now?”. Bellamy offered, pulling out his wallet.

“No! Thank you, I mean, I’m not going home just yet.” Clarke explained watching Bellamy’s face fall into a confused feature.

“I’m going out for drinks, with Raven and O’” And Bellamy nodded his head, smiling in understanding.

“Yeah, you need to go out and have some fun. You’ve been buried inside your office for so long!”

“Yeah, well, Ya can’t exactly blame me. L—the _Commander_ been driving me crazy.” Clarke didn’t know how much accurate her confession sounded.

“Yeah.. same.” Bellamy zoned out for a second before speaking again, “Don’t beat yourself out for it, we’ll figure something out, eventually. For now, we just have to be extra careful and focused.”

“Y-yeah, you’re right.” They soon found themselves drift away into a professional conversation, discussing matters of works, the awkwardness long forgotten and Clarke never felt more thankful.

__

 

Lexa saw everyone occupying their usual seats at the dinner table; she paced forward towards her chair and she, too took a seat, her eyes soon finding the stranger’s. The boy had a small shy smile drawn on his lips, his eyes drifting from Lexa’s face to Kane’s, as if waiting to be introduced.

“Aden this is Lexa—” pointing to the brunette on his left, “—And Anya” he pointed again before nodding towards the man sitting on his right, beside the boy, “—And this one here is Lincoln!” Kane finished with a gentle grin.

Aden nodded in acknowledgment before he introduced himself too, all eyes on his frame, questioning and expectant;

“I-I’m Aden.”

Lexa’s green eyes drifted from the boy to Kane’s.

“Who’s this?” she whispered.

“Aden’s father was one of oldest, closest friends. I haven’t seen this boy in so long so I thought why not welcome him in _our_ home for a few days.” Kane explained, amused by all the confused, gaping expressions before his eyes.

“Bu-“ Anya started.

“We’ll talk more about this in my office tomorrow, Anya! Please.. Enjoy your meal.” Kane cut the woman off, trying to ignore the looks that people around him were exchanging.

__

 

Lexa, Lincoln and Anya stomped out of their Black window-tinted SUV and walked towards the entrance of the club. Once they stepped in, the brunette was met with a sea of people; her body collided with sweaty, bare shoulders making the girl cringe until she finally reached their usual booth in the corner and plopped herself down on the leather seat.

The neon colored lights were blinding, the music was loud and most the people were screaming and cheering at the DJ on the club’s balcony.

“Hey, _Commander!_ Why don’t you go get us some shots?” Anya pleaded, nearly sitting under Lincoln’s right shoulder, and Lexa smiled. Those two were already acting drunk. So the green eyed wordlessly lifted herself up, leaning her sweaty, overheated palms on her thighs and walked over through the masses of sweaty bodies to the bar.

“Lexa! Hi!” The familiar face of the bartender turned to face her.

“Murphy! How’s it going for you?”.

“Eh’, smooth I guess.” The young man started, “So I assume you’re here with the _grandmas_ ” Murphy joked, raising his eyebrows earning a quiet chuckle from Lexa.

“Anyway, hit me with your best drinks, we’re kinda desperate tonight!” Lexa demanded, her laugh still dancing and bubbling within her sore throat.

“Here!” the bartender sat three shots on the bar in front of the brunette, “It’s called Afterburner. Half a shot of Aftershock Hot & Cool cinnamon schnapps and another half shot of Bacardi 151 rum. Be careful, _Commander._ ” The young man finished and Lexa smiled. The girl trusts Murphy’s drinks of choice, the man has an interesting taste, Lexa always thought. She first met Murphy the one night she decided to sneak into the club; they were both around the same age.

 

_Lexa was hiding inside a dark alley, peeking her head every few seconds to see if Anya or Lincoln have noticed her presence or felt like there was someone following them behind. Lexa always wanted to visit the club that both Lincoln and Anya were so obsessed with._

_Call it curiosity or stupidity or any other degrading word, Lexa didn’t want anything but to experience the feeling of being inside a club, she even asked Anya to show her around but the older woman always refused._

_“What’re you doing here?” the green eyed teenager heard a quiet whisper from behind and jolted her body forward and turned around to face the person that the hushed voice belonged to. Her green eyes fixed on the person’s face, eyes narrowed._

_“W-who are you?!” Lexa worriedly asked, her heart almost beating out of her chest._

_“Murphy” The young boy extended his right arm towards Lexa, waiting for the girl to take it. But Lexa just looked down to it and ignored it._

_“Well, Murphy, I don’t care so shoo!” the brunette motioned for the boy to leave, but Murphy was still planted on his spot._

_“I assume you’re trying to get in?” The boy said with a mischievous smirk earning Lexa’s full attention, “I know a way in.” The boy continued._

Lexa painted a wary smile on her face at the memories running in her mind. She tried to fit the three shots between her hands and turned on her heels to walk back to her friends.

Another body collided into hers and the shots connected to the ground with a loud thud. Green eyes looks up and suddenly all Lexa could see was blue. _Blue blue blue and blue._ Her green eyes flickered between the two orbs and her breath caught tightly in her throat. _That girl._

This second seemed like eternity, an eternity which only Lexa felt and it couldn’t even be expressed. The stranger’s lineage, status, education, affiliations, pride, ego...whatever one considers as proud accomplishments, everything vanished in that instant, nothing of that mattered to Lexa. It seemed their eyes just wanted to lock up with each other again.

The green eyed girl involuntarily smiled, she didn’t know if the stranger in front of her smiled first or maybe she did, she couldn’t decipher but also couldn’t bring herself to care about such an irrelevant detail. All Lexa did know was the feeling that their eyes knew each other for a very—very long time. In simple terms, like Lexa’s soul grew a voice and spoke _‘Oh it’s you... I’ve been looking for you for so long’._

 _“_ We need to stop meeting each other like that!” Lexa was suddenly pulled out of her haze and blinked her eyes, as if trying to see clearer. Hey eyes met with clear, bright blue ones. The brunette cleared her throat and begged herself to speak.

“So we meet again.” Lexa was surprised she didn’t stutter as the words slipped smoothly from her soft luscious lips.

“We do…” The stranger stretched the last word into a long hushed whisper, her eyes still boring into Lexa’s, who dragged her gaze to scan the other girl’s face. She noticed a small freckle lying on top of a pale skin, above the blonde’s upper lip. Lexa fought against her eyes when they decided to grow a mind of their own and trail down to fix themselves on the girl’s lips. _Those lips—_

“Anyway! Sorry for your drinks. Let me buy you another round?” The girl offered, scratching the back of her neck, and Lexa smiled at the flustered woman standing before her.

“Sure. But—on one condition.” Lexa began, pointing one finger up in front of the blonde’s face and watching her face fall in confusion. “I wanna—at least know your name. ‘Cause you know, I can’t accept drins from strangers.”

“I did!”.

“Then that’s something we don’t have in common..” Lexa trailed off her sentence as a silent question for the blonde.

“Clarke! Name’s Clarke.” The stranger, now with a name said, reaching her hand to Lexa. _‘Clarke’_ Lexa murmured and held the young woman’s hand and, _wow!_ Her skin was so warm. The feeling of holding Clarke’s hand was not unlike walking on the edge of a cliff. Lexa’s heart raced, pounding so fast, that it doesn't sound like heartbeats, put to a dull and obstinate hum... It felt like a pressure cooker, locked up, and boiling quickly.

If it were not for the brunette’s restraint, she was certain she would've french kissed her in front of all those people who slowly vanished from existence, leaving Lexa and Clarke swimming inside a warm bubble. _Okay_ , Lexa thought, _I really don't know how to kiss her_. All the green eyed girl wanted was to let out the bulk of the pressure somewhere, somewhere safe... She just had to sweat it out, letting myself cool down...

Lexa was held captive of a totally electrifying feeling, the same as the feeling you get when you feel someone's breath close by on your cheek, when you feel (not hear, but feel) someone softly whispering in your ear. It's the most innocent, and yet the most erotic feeling the girl ever felt. Lexa doesn’t know for sure, being a virgin by choice, she still was convinced that it's better than sex. It's got to be. It's the best feeling in the world, the feeling of holding Clarke’s hand.

“L-Lexa! Call me Lexa.” Neither pulled out their hands from the comfort of one another. Both still lost and unaware of their surroundings.

“Lexa..” Clarke repeated croakily and Lexa was a lost cause yet again. Her voice was gravelly rough and low, it made Lexa shiver.

“Clarke!” a swaying brunette enveloped the blonde in her arms from behind and slurred tremulously.

“O’! get off me!” Lexa heard the blonde speak back.

“I—maybe you could buy me those drinks another time? My friends are… waiting for me, and your friends are looking for you too, obviously, y-yeah! S-so I’ll just leave n—“ Lexa rambled as she tried to turn and leave those girl to their own business, but felt a tug on her wrist, when she turned around she was faced once again with blue eyes.

“Am I gonna see you ag-again? I m-mean later tonight?” the blonde blatantly asked, and Lexa couldn’t help but smile.

___

 

“Clarke! … Clarke! The fuck happened? Who was that girl?” Raven said, interrupting the blonde from her foggy bubble, and leaned Octavia’s head on her shoulder.

“I can’t fucking believe!” Clarke gaped, a wide grin decorating her features.

“What is it? Who is she?”

“Raven!” Clarke squeezed Raven’s shoulders in her hands and finally finished, “That was _Lexa”_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments always welcomed. Thanks for reading.  
> Twitter: @JauresexualHeda  
> Tumblr: fforever-alonee  
> Come! Let's be friends!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short but insanely intense chapter to get y'all's shipper heart satisfied until the next one. ;)

Bellamy parked his red Mini Cooper in front of the club Clarke was supposed to meet Octavia and Raven at; he unbuckled his seat belt and let out a tired sigh;

“Tonight was fun. W-we should try some other time again...” He nervously stuttered the words.

“Yeah! Of course...” Clarke unbuckled herself too, her eyes falling down to her lap, “I should go.” The blonde added.

Bellamy leaned his body to his right, confused and wondering if he should just shake Clarke’s hand or just kiss her; his gaze fell on the younger detective as she fidgeted nervously in her seat, probably wondering about the same things.

They both leaned their heads towards each other; Bellamy expected, at least a small peck on the lips before Clarke turned her head slightly to the side, offering the man her left cheek, where he planted a soft kiss and then leaned back into his seat, clearly disappointed.

“Okay...” 

“Alright...” 

They both said at the same time as they soon chuckled after their awkward interaction, the air filled with an odd tension.

“See you tomorrow at work then?” Bellamy broke the silence.

“Yeah. Drive safely!” Clarke pleaded while opening the door and stepping out of the small red vehicle, rounding the corner and waving a small hand towards Bellamy, watching him as he waved back and then drive off. 

The blonde pulled out her phone and dialled Raven’s number.

 _“Clarke! Where are you? We’re waiting for you inside.”_ The young woman heard the Latina ask.

“I’m outside the club!”

_“We’re standing at the bar, Come in! O’ is already giving me a hard time.”_

“Okay.” Clarke said as she walked towards the club’s door and showed her ID to the man standing at the steps. After walking in inside the loud, crowded space, her eyes wandered around until they finally landed on the two brunettes sitting on the stalls. She paced hurriedly towards them until she stood behind Raven, who immediately turned around to face the blonde;

“Finally!” Raven said as she rolled her eyes jokingly, “This bitch right here...is already drunk as fuck” she added, gesturing to a very unbalanced brunette.

“Hello, Octavia!” the blonde greeted, amused and pulled the other brunette into a brief hug.

“H-Hi, C-Clark-e!” Octavia greeted back, slurring the words that skipped her mouth, her breath already racked with the stinging smell of alcohol. The drunken action earning a small amused giggle from both her friends.

“So...how was your date? I honestly expected you to ditch our lame asses for dick.”

“Raven!” Clarke warned, sending the Latina a hard-fixed glare, “It was nice...Bellamy is a nice guy—“

“Wait! You went on a date with my brother?” Octavia cut into the conversation, turning to her right to give her friends more attention. 

Clarke bashfully nodded, tilting her head down, not daring to give the brunette a single glance.

“Great! Now he can shut the fuck up about you for once.” Octavia said, landing her dangling wobbly feet on the ground and then held Raven’s arm dragging her into the crowd, towards the dance floor,

“You also have to shut up about it. I don’t need to hear all about you having my bro’s dick for dinner!” she then shouted from afar, deserving a smack on her shoulder from the Latina.

Clarke’s mouth fell open at her friend’s bluntness.

The blonde turned around in attempt to walk towards the bar and order themselves some more drinks, but her body abruptly collided into another one, sending the stranger’s glasses into the club’s floor.

As soon as Clarke lifted her head to apologize for the mess she made, her blue irises connected to dark green.

It took Clarke a few seconds to recognize the face before hers and was suddenly hit by realization. _L—Lexa_.

Clarke couldn’t believe what just happened. The beautiful brunette was bluntly staring at her face. What were the odds of them meeting again? Still, fate has a mind of his own, the blonde believed.

Here she was, standing yet again in front of the reason of her sleepless nights, the reason of her muddled thoughts. Her blue eyes widened in disbelief, scanning the girl’s features. Starting with her sharp craggy jaw.

The blonde’s eyes travelled up towards the brunette’s eyes and she immediately drew in a sharp breath. Her dark green eyes were small and spaced evenly apart sitting below thick and trim eyebrows—her thickly plucked eyebrows were shaped into a deceivingly perfect arch that followed the slight curve of her breathtaking eyes; blue eyes then danced down the girl’s features, to her nose, a small nose hooked over continually pursed lips, lips that were painted a screaming bright red, that successfully blinded the blonde’s vision.

Lexa’s looked a dark shade of midnight kohl-black, tumbled and crashed over her shoulders. Clarke’s eyes drifted to the swell of the girl’s hips, swathed in sinfully tight black, ripped pants.

Wow...Clarke thought to herself, how could anyone be this... _flawless_?

The blonde begged her muddy thoughts to collect themselves, she willed her voice to speak, to drag her away from losing herself into this sinful haze.

“We need to stop meeting each other like that!” Clarke uttered the words, faking a well-controlled tone and mentally patted her shoulder for being able to sound so balanced and put together.

She watched as Lexa’s red lips drew themselves into a divine, genuine smile, failing to notice that the girl was having a moment herself.

“So we meet again.” 

 _Her voice_ , seriously now, this whole thing wasn’t fair for Clarke’s sake. Lexa spoke with a hoarse and croaky voice and Clarke wondered if the brunette suffered from a sore throat.

“We do...” the blonde lost her ability to speak once again, her blue eyes still scanning Lexa’s, before she tore her thoughts apart and blinked her eyes in a desperate attempt to break the chilly, awkward atmosphere surrounding them both.

“Anyway! Sorry for your drinks. Let me buy you another round?” Clarke offered, noticing the amused look the Commander was throwing at her. The blonde hated never hated herself more than she does right now, for many reasons than just looking like a flustered lost dog.

“Sure—“ Clarke heard the brunette speak again, “But on one condition!” she finished, sending Clarke into a wander of her own, questioning and confused as to what would Lexa want in return.

“I want to, at least know your name. ‘Cause you know, I can’t accept drinks from strangers.”

“I did!” Clarke abruptly replied, referring to the drinks that Lexa got her the first time they met.

“Then that’s something we don’t have in common.”

Clarke nodded, clearly defeated, “Clarke! Name’s Clarke.” 

“ _Clarke_...” As soon as the familiar name sipped through Lexa’s mouth, Clarke wondered if the girl actually meant to voice it out. The brunette uttered the young detective’s name so softly and quietly like she was afraid of someone else, other than herself could hear it.

Clarke reached her trembling hand and offered it for Lexa to hold. And Lexa did. And they both were back into their small world yet again, like nothing of their surroundings ever mattered.

“L—Lexa! Call me Lexa.” Did she just stutt—

“Clarke!” an embodied but familiar voice broke Clarke’s pleasing encounter and the blonde felt a heavy body weight on her own.

“ O’! Get off me!”

Clarke struggled to monitor Octavia’s body off of her shoulders until she heard Lexa stuttering again.

“I—maybe you could buy me those drinks another time? My friends are...waiting for me, and your friends are looking for you too, obviously. Y—yeah! S—so I’ll just leaven—“

Clarke’s hands moved on their own accord and softly grabbed at Lexa’s wrist.

“Am I gonna see you again? I m—mean later, tonight?” the blonde spoke quietly, watching Lexa’s frown break into a dazzling white smile and nodding her head once, before she finally turned around leaving Clarke clutching into a wasted Octavia.

“Clarke!...Clarke! The fuck happened? Who was that girl?” Raven emerged from behind a confused look dancing on her features.

Clarke’s blue eyes were wide from disbelief and utter enjoyment; she just met Lexa, again. What were the odds?

“I can’t fucking believe!” Clarke said with a wide toothy grin.

“What is it? Who is she?”.

“Raven” Clarke squeezed Raven’s shoulders in her sweaty hands and finished, “That was Lexa.”

___

 

“What took you so long?” Lexa heard Anya ask in a complaining tone, her body moulding into Lincoln’s.

“Nothing, Murphy was being clingy.” The brunette lied, finally offering the drinks to her friends.

Anya and Lincoln downed theirs in a single gulp, “More!” the older woman shouted for the waiter passing by their table.

“So what’s the story behind Kane babysitting his friend’s baby boy?” Lexa asked, her head tilted down.

“I have no idea. Kane never mentioned him before.” Lincoln replied, accepting the second round of drinks that the waiter brought along. Lexa nodded in understanding. 

“He’ll tell us all about eventually though.” Anya soon added and got up from her seat towards God knows where, leaving Lexa alone with Lincoln.

“So...who’s the blonde?” Lincoln suddenly broke the silence. “I saw you from up here. Anya didn’t.” The man explained.

“Just some girl that Anya and I drove home two days ago.” The brunette answered fidgeting with the empty glass still in her hand while Lincoln just nodded, his eyes landing on Anya who was messily dancing alone and let out a small giggle and nodded his head towards the older woman’s frame to draw Lexa’s attention to her too.

“She’s something else...” the green eyed girl admitted chuckling.

“She is...”

“When are you going to stop being an oblivious idiot and just ask her out?”

Lincoln shifted uncomfortably in his seat at Lexa’s question and cleared his throat, desperate to find the right answer to the unanswered question.

“I don’t know if she’s—ready, or if she feels the same way...”

“Are you blind?” the younger brunette bit back.

“Lexa! I can’t risk this...It’s too dangerous; nothing’s guaranteed to work between us. And the things we do—what our jobs enquire... I just don’t know, maybe when this whole thing is over, when things become more...peaceful.” The man explained.

Lexa partially agreed. Lincoln was right, they didn’t have time to get themselves tangled between romantic relationships, and they barely had time to go out on nights like this one. Her mind slowly drifted to the blonde, Clarke. Her heart skipped a beat at the other girl’s sudden appearance in her thoughts.

She couldn’t get herself into this too, and Lexa couldn’t allow her thoughts and judgement to be clouded with the blonde, the girl was basically still a stranger; Lexa knew nothing about her but a simple name.

Lexa lifted herself away from the leather couch, grabbing Lincoln’s hand and dragged him towards the dance floor, where Anya was still dancing alone.

“Let’s dance!” She screamed.

___

 

“What? N-no way...” Raven said as she watched Octavia’s flushed face turn into a pale yellow.

“L-Lexa who?” their friend questioned, confused.

“Some criminal—“

“A girl I met in Jasper’s bar two days ago!” Clarke quickly interrupted Raven sending a sharp warning glare.

“Oh... Anyway! Who wants another round of dancing? Oh I know who... Me!” Octavia desperately tried to muffle their cryptic conversation by another excuse as she tugged both her—very confused friends between the crowds of people and settled on the dance floor.

___

 

It was 10 PM when Kane knocked on the door of the room he offered to Aden, two doors away from Lexa’s. 

After waiting for a few seconds, Kane let himself in and his tired, sanded eyes landed on the young boy’s body lying on the bed.

“Is it comfortable?” He asked, watching Aden’s body jolt up in surprise, “The bed... I mean”.

“Y-yeah, much more comfortable than mine, to be honest. Don’t tell Sinclair I said that by the way.”

Kane just smiled and walked to sit beside Aden.

“I won’t.”

The charged silence they both fell into was interrupted by the boy, drawing the older man’s gaze towards his small frame.

“Why am I here?”. Kane sighed.

The man wondered if it was the right moment to tell Aden about what’s left of his family. A family he never knew he had before. But Kane thought better; this, clearly, wasn’t the right time. He had to talk to Lexa first, she was older and her reaction would be much less traumatizing than Aden’s, who’s still just a child.

“You’ll find out tomorrow, when all my family is gathered together.” Kane promised as he stepped on the floor again, lifting his body from the bed but still looking at Aden, who was looking back at his monotone face.

“Now, just sleep and make yourself home, I’m down stairs, the maids will show you to my office in case you needed anything.”

“Goodnight.” Aden’s voice was questionably tired and quiet.

“Sleep well.” Kane said before stepping out of Aden’s room and heading down to his office.

___

 

The music was loud as Lexa’s swaying body swam between others; Anya and Lincoln were right beside her, thoughtless and carefree, both holding bottles of beer in their hands as they danced against each other. 

That made the younger brunette back away a little to give the drunken friends some room to enjoy their free time in each other’s company. _They needed it._

As the brunette took the few steps away from her friends and attempted to turn around, her front collided with another frame and she was yet again met with the enticing blues that kept her reckless mind running in circles.

“Hi...” Lexa breathlessly whispered.

“Hey...” Clarke greeted her back, the blonde’s slim waist still swaying along the loud deafening music, drawing Lexa’s gaze to follow the sinfully attractive movements.

“Are you following me?” Clarke broke the tension-filled silence, earning a small giggle from the brunette, who soon willed herself to dance along.

“Weird, I was thinking the same thing about you.”

“Huh! You were thinking about me? Interesting...” The blonde suddenly turned around, facing Lexa with her back. 

Lexa’s eyes bulged out at the unexpected action and fought against her will to trace her sweaty, tingling knuckles along the other girl’s waist.

“Mockery isn’t the product of a strong mind, Clarke.” Lexa bit back, her pelvis mirroring Clarke’s movement against her front, her breathing was settled into a slow pace until she felt the blonde boldly grab her shaking hands and lay them on her own bare hipbones.

 Cold knuckles connected to warm skin and Lexa never thought that hot and cold ever completed each other like they did right now. 

Lexa’s heart threatened to wilfully jump out of her chest as she heard Clarke take a sharp breath.

“Your hands are c—cold” The blonde confessed as Lexa’s knuckles drew her body tightly against hers.

“ _Yeah_...” Lexa whispered in an exaggeratingly low tone, “Sorry—“she then tried to take away her slim fingers away from the blonde’s face before she felt warm hands circle themselves around hers once again.

“It’s okay...I’m not complaining” Clarke whispered as she turned her silhouette back to face the brunette; the music still painting their moulded bodies as Lexa’s hands drifted to Clarke’s lower back, their foreheads softly caressing one another.

Lexa felt again the rush of helplessness, the sinking yielding, the surging warmth of Clarke’s breath that left her limp. Lexa felt it all, as her dark green eyes fell into rosy lips, to the small freckle that sat above the blonde’s inviting mouth—a mouth that Lexa swore could be softer than a rose’s leaf.

Her eyes travelled back to Clarke’s eyes; they were closed, forbidding Lexa’s urge to see them, to be lost in their warmth again. Clarke put her arms around the brunette’s neck with a grave expression, nervous, hopeful and expectant; her knuckles danced on the soft skin she was offered as to desperately bring Lexa’s face closer to hers if that was even possible.

And then, just then, all the sounds around Lexa went silent—the loud music, the people screaming and chanting, the voice of the DJ cheering—all went silent and Lexa couldn’t hear a living thing but the crazy beating of her guarded heart.

The right palm of her hand flattened against the girl’s sweaty back, and sneaked into the warm shirt, tracing her spine; Lexa tilted her head down, surrendering to the screaming desire circling every cell of her body to just finally taste the rosy puckered lips breathing into hers; 

But as soon as Lexa’s thoughts started—they just... _stopped_ ; a hand grabbed Lexa’s elbow and dragged her away from the girl’s venomous warmth. Lexa suddenly turned around and faced the intruder. Anya.

“What were you thinking, Lexa?!” Anya’s slurring words came out loud and breathless and warned after she dragged the younger brunette towards a dark unoccupied alley.

Lexa’s flushed face turned pale; she was confused. Why did Anya possibly do that?

“I was having fun! Before you rudely decided to ruin everything? What were you thinking?”

Anya stood there in front of Lexa, wordless and angry with something Lexa obviously had no idea about, yet.

“If you don’t have anything to say then let me just go bac—“

“No! J-just wait! N-no...” Anya suddenly grabbed Lexa’s elbow once again, preventing the brunette from going back inside the club.

“You can’t do t-that...not wi-with her...”

“Why? You explicitly said that she wasn’t trouble, you don’t have to be this overly protective of me, Anya, I’m no longer a child! I can handle mys—“

“She’s _a cop_!” Anya screamed, cutting off Lexa’s protests.

“W-what?” 

Now, looking at Lexa hurt, Anya thought. Looking at her hurt so much that Anya’s wary eyes filled with tears.

“No... You can’t be serious...h-how—“

“My source told me the other day.” The older woman started, “She was probably the one following you and Lincoln.” She continued, walking towards Lexa, trying to—just hold her, comfort her, anything. But Lexa jolted her body back, avoiding Anya’s comforting arms.

“I—I need some time...I should just g-go home...Yeah!”.

And then Lexa walked out of the club, leaving Anya alone, hugged between her own shaking arms. _I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,_ Anya wanted to desperately say. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can yell at me for ruining the moment or to criticise my work at  
> Twitter: @JauresexualHeda  
> Or Tumble: fforever-alonee  
> I love you all i swear and thank you for all the kind words.  
> Kudos and comments are most welcomed.


	12. Author's note!

Hey guys! I'm sorry this isn't an update, I'm just having a hard time to decide whether or not to finish this fic, I'm really grateful for the few of you who are reading it.  
But I'm kind of the type of writer that needs to be given motivation and inspiration rather give them myself.  
So if there is anyone still interested, please contact me, don't be shy, i will gladly continue this story for the few people that are reading.  
Tumble: fforever-alonee   
Twitter: @JauresexualHeda


	13. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kind of a mess, but it gets kinda cute by the end.   
> I don't know...I tried

_What is going on with me?_ That’s the first question that invaded Clarke’s mind once Lexa was roughly yanked from her hold.

The blonde yelped at the sudden loss of the intimate contact she was sharing with the beautiful brunette just a second ago; her eyes blinked open to see Lexa being dragged away from her by Anya. Why did the old woman suddenly decide to interrupt them? Did she possibly know something about Clarke working for the police?

Clarke was just standing there, blue eyes broadened in sheer shock and confusion—that is until Raven cut off the cycle of thoughts and unanswered question invading her mind.

“Clarke?” Raven turned around with Octavia still held in her arms and nudged Clarke’s shoulder; “What’s wrong? You okay?” the Latina finished, questioning.

“N-nothing…um—I just need a moment to sit down, I’m tired.”

“Sure, go ahead. Octavia and I will join you in a minute while you order us some more shots, okay?” Raven promised and watched Clarke walk silently towards the bar.

Once the blonde detective settled down on one of the stools and ordered her friends and herself a drink, her thoughts quickly drifted to moments ago. She was so close to kissing Lexa—the _Commander_ ; Clarke wondered how she could have possibly allow herself to act so… _vulnerably_ , how did she let Lexa touch her so personally; but what haunted Clarke’s conscious more was how she actually felt while being touched in such delicate way—she… _liked it_.

The young woman couldn’t even let Bellamy—her date, to simply peck her now trembling lips, still there she was, ready to let Lexa claim the plump flesh. Clarke felt the tension in her own body as she recalled Lexa’s daring, cold hands traveling along her spine, the effort she made to hold back a pleased hum, however dangerous and stupid and unwise to let the brunette explore her sweaty skin; Clarke couldn’t simply not relish into the faint, slow touches.

All the self-control Clarke exerted the past few years went crashing like water did through a broken dam. Whatever logic and reason the blonde possessed had melted away. The blonde had no idea of what she could do or say if their touches went further, if it would have been something that she could’ve pretended away or taken back. There was nothing but flesh and fire left and Clarke wasn’t going to lie to herself—at least not tonight.

And now, Clarke thought that almost kisses were almost as beautiful as kisses were, _almost._

Clarke’s thought were yet again interrupted once Raven and Octavia came tumbling and giggling behind then took the seats beside hers.

Raven grabbed the two glasses sitting on the bar and offered one to her drunken friend.

“I don’t know why I’m exactly giving you more drinks; your body is probably 99% alcohol already!” The Latina joked as she handed Octavia her glass.

“Oh shut it! I can handle myself.”

“Right! That’s why I have to babysit your ass through the whole night—and the morning after.” Clarke laughed lightly, amused at the familiar banter taking place in front of her.

“So, Clarke!” Octavia addressed the blonde, earning her attention, “How was your date with my brother?”.

“I thought that you didn’t wanna hear about it.”

“Thankfully, I’m drunk enough to not remember a single word tomorrow. So, spill!”

Clarke took another sip from her drink before answering her friend;

“It was n-nice, we had dinner and talked about nothing and everything before he drove me here.” Clarke simply said to her friends.

“That’s it?! Gee and here I was, thinking you were fun!” Raven mocked, rolling her eyes.

“Well what are people supposed to do in their first date?”

“First? Does that mean you are planning on going out on a second and a third and a four—“

“Alright, I got it, you can stop now.” Clarke interrupted Octavia and added, “I mean…I guess we’re willing to try and go on a second date? We still haven’t talked about it, yet.”

Clarke lifted her gaze from her fidgeting knuckles up to meet the girls’, watching as they both nodded in understanding, which was weird, considering how drunk they already were.

“Bellamy is a good guy, he’ll treat you good. You should give the guy a chance.” Raven suggested.

“Aww…Look how cute you look trying to act as my bro’s wingman!” Octavia cooed as she pitched the Latina’s rosy cheeks.

“You’re drunk!” Raven admitted taking Octavia’s hands away from her face and into her own.

“No shit!”

Clarke let out an amused giggle at the scene beside her and turned around in her stool to order another drink, but she suddenly felt a poke on her left shoulder. As soon as Clarke turned away from the bar to face the intruding person, her blue eyes fell on no one other than Anya herself. Flaming, angry and red eyes captured hers and she felt oddly intimidated.

“Can we talk outside for a minute?” The woman asked, earning a confused and worried look from the girls beside Clarke.

“Y-yeah, of course! Give me a minute…” Clarke stuttered the words looking back at Raven and Octavia and sending them a reassuring glance before she stepped of the stool and was soon addressed by the familiar voice of Raven.

“Will you be okay? Do I need to tag along?”

“No, it’s alright! Just stay with Octavia, be right back.”

The older woman—Anya, walked ahead to the deserted, dark alley, it was quiet enough to have a decent, private conversation, and was followed by the blonde. Once they both settled in, standing face to face with each other, Anya spoke first;

“I am going to say this one—single—time, so you better open your fucking ears and listen, got it?” the older woman started pointing a finger towards the blonde’s chest, “First, I don’t think how stupid do you people think we are, and clearly, I don’t fucking care. And second, Using Lexa for the sake of your sick games is completely inconsiderate. And last—and more importantly, I don’t want to see your pathetic self near Lexa ever again.” Anya finished, tapping her fingers on the girls shoulder between every single world.

Clarke’s eyes bulged out of her skull and gulped at the threatening words the woman in front of her just uttered.

“I d—don’t know what you’re talkin—“Clarke stooped mid-sentence as she suddenly heard Anya ironically chuckle at her defeated attempt to sound oblivious.

“No need to act stupid, _detective Griffin_!” As soon as she heard her name leave the woman’s mouth, Clarke took a step back away from her, scared and threatened.

“Were you stupid enough to think that I wouldn’t find out about you?” Anya started, taking an equal step forward, burning a hole through Clarke’s eyes with her glare, “Well I’m sorry to disappoint you, _detective,_ but Lexa knows about your disgusting game now, I would probably work on a plan B if I were you—not that it would work!”

Clarke blinked her eyes open and shut several times, her mouth agape. She absolutely had no idea what was she possibly going to respond to _that._

“Stay away from Lexa! Or you’d have to face to me—and I wouldn’t want to hurt your pretty face!” Anya threatened for the last time, before she stepped away from Clarke and walked through the few people towards the exit.

Clarke’s heart picked up a quick pace at the harsh words directed to her. She never imagined herself being as scared as she was right now. _I really fucked this all up!_ Clarke thought to herself.

 

*****

 

Anya stormed out of the club, her eyes falling on Lincoln body leaning against the black SUV waiting for them outside. The woman walked to the car and Lincoln quickly opened the back passenger door for her and soon followed inside the car.

Anya sighed, leaning her head back on the seat.

“I don’t think, whatever you did back there, was a good idea.” Lincoln spoke, breaking the silence.

“What was I supposed to do? Allow the blonde bitch to use Lexa?”

“I don’t know. At least try and talk with Lexa first? She isn’t a child anymore, Anya. You know that!” Lincoln explained trying to reason the slightly older woman.

“She’s mad at me…” Anya admitted with a defeated sigh.

“She’ll come around…she’ll understand.” Anya tilted her head down, her wary and teary eyes falling to her lap.

“Hey…” Lincoln reached his right hand and slowly lifted the woman’s chin until her eyes connected with his comforting gaze, “She loves you.” The man finished, desperately trying to assure Anya that everything would be alright. They both knew how protective of Lexa, Anya always was, it was how she managed to keep the younger brunette and her feelings safe all these years.

“Let’s just go home, I need some sleep.” The woman suggested and Lincoln quickly complied buckling himself and Anya and driving them both to the safe comfort of their home.

 

*****

 

Lexa stepped inside the mansion, throwing her car keys on the wooden counter beside their front door and walked slowly towards the couch in the hall at the mansion’s center and then plopped down her body on the fluffy material.

The brunette closed her eyes tightly as she laid her head back on the back of the couch.

Seriously, how could this even happen to her? Lexa didn’t know, but one thing Lexa knows—is that it shouldn’t. The _one and only_ time Lexa allowed herself to be driven by her feelings, she got smacked right back in the face with them.

How could this infuriatingly beautiful blonde use her like that? How dare she show up in Lexa’s life, only to turn it upside down?

Lexa never felt as stupid as she felt now at this moment; she was the only one to blame for acting so unguarded with the young detective— _a fucking cop_! Lexa recalled and let out a frustrated, angry groan, until she felt strong knuckles massaging her temples but immediately knew who they belonged to.

“Why back so early? Did Lincoln and Anya embarrass you back there?” Kane spoke quietly still going with the soft caresses on Lexa’s tense muscles of her temples.

“Something like that…” The brunette said, her eyes still closed relaxing to the gentle, comforting touch of Kane’s strong fingers.

Kane withdrew his hands away from Lexa’s head and rounded the couch to sit beside the brunette, and leaned his elbows on his knees, watching as Lexa blinked her eyes open and straightened her pose in the seat and faced him.

“Where’s the kid?” the brunette asked, looking at Kane.

“He’s name is Aden—“Kane warned, smiling while Lexa rolled her eyes.

“—about that…I kind of need to talk to you about something important.” The older man said as he twisted a lighter between his knuckles.

“Listen! If it’s about me smoking then please save it for tomorrow I’m really tired an—“

“You smoke?!” Kane cut her off.

“Yeah…I th-thought you were…isn’t that what were you going to talk to me about?”

“No…” Kane replied, confused, “It’s more important and, well… _personal_ —although we are going to talk about you smoking first thing in the morning.” He continued.

Lexa’s face broke into utterly confused features. What was Kane possibly supposed to discuss with her in the middle of the night?

“Okay…”

“Okay.” Kane clapped his sweaty, shaking palms together as he started;

“It was nine years ago…right after Anya brought you to me, a week after, to be specific.” The man hesitantly lifted his eyes in search for Lexa’s; still he found her glance surprisingly calm and questioning.

“A woman…came to my office that day, along with a young boy. She made quite a scene to meet me personally. In case you’re wondering, the boy I’m talking about is Aden—“Kane explained before he continued, his eyes falling back on his lap, “She told me that she hasn’t had enough money to take care of him, and that she received a job back in California…I-I didn’t know what was I being asked to do. She said she doesn’t want the boy anymore, and after his father’s de—death, she couldn’t do that on her own, that the boy deserved better…So I took him in.”

Lexa was silent. She didn’t expect the boy’s background to be so… _dark,_ and unfortunate. If Lexa ever thought she was the only one with a dark family history—she was now clearly wrong.

“What happened next? Where was he?” Lexa questioned curiously, clearly interested to hear the rest of the young boy’s unfortunate story.

“I-I left him at one of my friends’—but that’s not what I’m trying to get to” Kane tried to explain further.

“What are you getting at then?”

“The boy’s father, Aden’s… It’s Da— _Daniel_ ” Kane paused, looking a Lexa, “He’s your _brother_ , Lexa.”

 

*****

 

Clarke was silently driving her grey Sidan along with Raven beside her and a passed out Octavia in the back seat.

“So, are you going to tell me what that woman wanted to talk to you about?” Raven spoke, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

Clarke let out a nervous sigh, conflicted as to whether tell Raven the whole turn of events or not.

“Sh—she knows…they all know about me being a cop, Rae…I don’t really know how, but they do.” The blonde explained turning her attention to the Latina for a brief moment; Raven’s face spoke on her behalf as worrisome painted all her features and she jolted her upper body forward to face the blonde.

“Go ahead! You can say ‘I told you so’, I was expecting it anyway.”

“Clarke! This is serious, what if they hurt you? What did she say?” Raven questioned with a trembling tone.

“They won’t—as long as I stay away from Lexa…”

The Latina turned her body in the passenger seat to take a look at Octavia, to make sure the brunette was actually still sleeping in the back then turned back to face Clarke once again;

“Listen! Now that they know all about who you are, you have to tell the Chief, Clarke! We’ll tell him that we just found out last night, by accident.” Raven suggested.

“I don’t—“

“No! Clarke, you don’t get it, your life is in danger now, and you can’t risk it. You have to tell them.” Raven cut off Clarke’s protests and sighed before she added, “I—If you don’t tell Jaha first thing tomorrow morning, then I’m afraid I’ll tell him myself…”

Clarke parked the car in front of the apartment building and unbuckled herself, letting out a frustrated sigh as she reached up her knuckles and pulled back her hair.

“I’ll do it. We’d have to go question Marcus Kane tomorrow anyway—although it’s a weekend…Lexa works there, his name was on the list of suspects.” The blonde reassured then informed Raven.

“What’s the connection?”

“He was seen driving Anya and Lincoln, and the guys followed Anya who is suspected to stay at his mansion outside the town.”

“Oh… Anyway, let’s get this drunken mountain goat upstairs. We’ll talk about this more in the morning, okay?”

“Yeah…just give me a minute, I’ll be right up.”

“Where are you going?” the Latina asked, undoubtedly still worried about Clarke’s safety.

“I’ll be here in the car. I just need a moment to think…please!” Clarke soothed, pleading.

“Alright.” Raven said, whitewashed and defeated then stepped out of the car and opened the back passenger door, nudging Octavia awake.

“O’, Come on, wake up! We’re here.”

Octavia fought to blink her blue eyes open, blinded by the street lights;

“I don’t wannaaa…j—just let me sleep here, it’s comfy.” The brunette slurred.

“Hey! No, let’s go, the bed is comfier.” Raven watched as the girl didn’t move a muscle.  

“I’ll make you pancakes in the morning?” Raven tried again, soon realizing her trick at bribing the brunette had just worked as Octavia held out her arm for the Latina to help her out of the vehicle.

“I don’t know how you feasibly manage to deal with her.” Clarke wondered, amused.

“I don’t know either.” But Clarke knew exactly why Raven was so careful and delicate with the other girl, still she nodded, letting out a forced, wary chuckle—not wanting to make the Latina uncomfortable with her teasing comments. Clarke was visibly not in the mood for that.

The blonde watched Raven as the girl helped Octavia through the entrance’s stairs and into the elevator, and was finally left alone with her disarrayed thoughts.

Clarke pulled out a pack of cigarettes from her pocket and tucked one between her lips, reaching for the lighter sitting on the car’s cupboard and lighted the venomous material. She took a long lungful breath then exhaled the toxic cloud of smoke out of her nose—taking a long trembled sigh.

 _What could Lexa possibly think of me now?_ The blonde didn’t know why she cared so much about the beautiful woman’s opinion or judgement about her, but she still let herself wonder. Clarke’s insides were torn by the stinging feeling of guilt, although she tried so hard to convince herself not to feel that way; she didn’t owe Lexa any explanation or excuse.

That bosom moment she shared with the other girl back inside the club was far from being pretentious.

Now that both parts of the conflict had their cards open on the table, Clarke has to face Lexa, unmasked and slightly embarrassed of her previous actions. This was a job and the blonde won’t let herself get involved personally. She’d at least have to try.

 

*****

 

_“The boy’s father, Aden’s… It’s Da—Daniel” Kane paused, looking a Lexa, “He’s your brother, Lexa.”_

Lexa’s stoic face curved into a shocked expression. Green eyes broadened and her red painted mouth fell ajar.

_What the actual fuck?_

“Wh—what…How?”

Kane reached his right hand and held Lexa’s trembling one in his own, trying feebly to comfort the young brunette.

“I didn’t know, I swear. Y-your father was having an affair with this woman—her name was Becca, an affair that stemmed a child, Aden.”

Lexa suddenly withdrew her hand away from Kane’s hold, earning an apological gaze from the older man.

“T—that’s impossible, my dad could never do that to my mom…” _To me._ Lexa wanted so dreadfully to add. 

“I ran a DNA test, using one of your hairs—I’m sorry but…He’s your brother, it came positive, your tests matched.” Kane explained, holding the lighter forcefully into his fist, bringing his nerves dripping into the white, bloodless knuckles and preparing himself for Lexa’s expected reaction, _rage._

He drifted his gaze away from his lap and looked at the brunette, her face speaking nothing but shock and distrust—bringing along a scratchy, uncomfortable feeling that was stabbing his lungs.

“Lexa, I—“ Kane was suddenly interrupted by the sound of their front door opening, and watched as Anya and Lincoln emerged inside the house.

Lexa tersely jolted up from her seat, earning her family’s worried and questionable glances, and stormed up to what everyone assumed was her room.

Kane’s attention drifted to the couple walking towards him; he stood back on his feet, reaching one of his hands down and tucked it inside the right pocket of his pants, the other one mindlessly playing with the lighter.

Anya’s eyes fell down to the material in the man’s hand and she gulped, along with Lincoln while they shared a worried glance that certainly caught the older man’s attention.

“Listen! We were going t—to tell you about—“Lincoln started nervously explaining but his sentence was soon cut off by Kane.

“Yeah, you both shouldn’t let this happen. You were supposed to watch her, take care of her. I can’t do everything by myself.” Kane scolded the couple, watching their gazes as they fell to the ground, mortified and ashamed.

“We’re sorry! We’ll make sure it would never happen again.” Anya promised, her eyes still fixed on her feet.

“You better!” The older man warned, “Anyway, go have some rest. Tomorrow is a busy day.” Kane added as he rounded the couch, walking back inti his office.

 

*****

 

It was 8 AM when Clarke woke up from her sleep, wary and troubled. The blond heard rustles coming from the kitchen and assumed Raven had kept her promise of making them pancakes first in the morning.

She forced herself up on her feet and headed first to her bathroom, practicing her daily morning routine before she stepped inside the kitchen already wearing a clean outfit for work and watched as the Latina flipped the pancake on the stove.

“Good morning.” Clarke greeted, sitting on a stool while Raven was still facing her with her back, “Where’s Octavia?” she added.

“Still sleeping! I hope the smell of pancakes would wake her up so I wouldn’t need to do it myself. She’s so grumpy in the mornings, and the hangover will just make it worst.” Raven replied, setting the last pancake on the plate and handing it to Clarke, and then took a seat on the stool beside hers.

“How was sleep?” the Latina asked, looking at the blonde with a soft apological gaze.

“I slept like crap, actually.” Clarke answered, driving a croaky chuckle from her best friend.

“Same though, that girl can be a handful in bed.” Raven’s eyes widened along with Clarke’s at the way she faultily phrased her sentence, “I—I meant like, she kicks like a fucking horse. Y-yeah, I think sh—“

“I get it, Raven. No need to be pressed.” Clarke cut her off, pulling the poor startled girl out of her misery.

 “Are those pancakes, I smell?!” The girls heard the familiar voice of their friend who joined them in the kitchen, “Also, please stop being loud, I already feel like there’s a thousand children hollering inside my brain.” Octavia added as she stood behind Raven and grabbed a pancake from the plate and directly shoving a massive portion in her mouth.

“You’re the best!” the brunette confessed as she placed a wet, sloppy kiss to Raven’s right cheek—which soon gained an extra shade of crimson.

“So, what’re we doing today?” Raven stuttered questioning.

“ _You_ are going to do whatever the hell you want, while _I_ have to go to the station. I got work.” Clarke said pointing to the girls and then to herself.

“What? No, it’s the weekend; don’t you guys have a life outside work?” Octavia protested, plopping her body on the couch facing the TV with the plate full of pancakes sitting in her lap.

“Well sorry to disappoint, but you know, I have to keep the city safe and all that crap.” Clarke replied, sarcasm dripping through every single word that sipped out of her lips.

“Looks like someone overdosed on Raven’s sassy pancakes this morning, gee!” Octavia bit back from the other room, earning loud giggles from both her friends.

“Well, you guys have fun today okay? Talk to you later!” Clarke greeted as she stepped off the stool and grabbed her badge and gun, walking out the door and shutting it behind her with a lurid thud. 

 

It took Clarke thirty minutes to get to the station—which was much shorter period of time than usual, considering the senseless traffic in the mornings.

Clarke stepped out of her car, her blue eyes soon falling on Bellamy as he exited his too.

“Morning, detective!” Her partner greeted first in a sarcastic tone as he walked towards the entrance with Clarke by his side.

“Hi!” Clarke’s eyes fell on the two cups of coffee that were in Bellamy’s hold, “’s that for me?” she then asked as they stepped inside the station.

“Good guess! Here…” The other detective replied, handing Clarke one of the warm carton cups, “We’re going to Kane’s building in a few, don’t overdrink it!” Bellamy continued, taking a seat on his desk chair and watching as Clarke sipped on her coffee.

“I’ll talk to Jaha first, we’ll take off once I’m done.” The blonde clarified before sitting the cup on Bellamy’s desk and walked towards the Chief’s door and knocked, waiting impatiently for an answer.

“Come in!” the blonde then heard.

“Good morning, Chief!”

“Detective Griffin, good morning!” Chief Jaha turned around in his chair to face the blonde, “I’m sorry for making you guys work on a weekend though!” he added.

“We both know damn well that you’re not.” Clarke joked, drawing a smile on her boss’s face.

“You know me so well. You and Bellamy can go question Marcus Kane now that—“

“Actually…I have something to talk to you about.” Clarke suddenly interrupted, earning a curious glace from her boss.

“Of course, take a seat!”

The blonde detective took a few steps forward and settled herself on a chair, facing the Chief as she fretfully fumbled with her fingers and timidly dropped her eyes to the ground.

“W—well, I went out with Raven and a friend of ours to a club last night, you know, typical girls’ night out and all, cause Octavia wouldn’t hop off my back until I—“

“Detective! I’m sure there’s someone else, out here, who would be much more interested to hear about your story—“

“Wait! Sorry, I’ll get to the point.” Clarke stuttered and then let out a strangled pant.

“Go on…”

“Right, yeah. So…we were there, drinking at the bar and then w-we heard some people beside us talking—two females and what we heard the others be called were the Queen siblings…” Clarke started, her gaze nervously dancing along the Chief’s confused features, “But that’s not important. What really drew our attention was that the bartender called one of the women beside us…Com—he…he.”

“He…” Jaha stretched the last syllable as an attempt to encourage the younger girl to speak.

“H—he called her _Commander_ …” Clarke watched as the man’s pose straightened, undoubtedly interested in whatever she had left to say.

“And then we heard them talk about some files, also the missing diamonds that were taken away a few days ago.” The blonde finally finished, watching as the older man crocked his eyebrows curiously.

“Do you have a description? A name, maybe?”

“Yeah, I—I do. The Commander’s real name is…is _Lexa_ _Woods_ —she’s a shareholder at Kane’s company.”

“Very well, detective. Good job! Now that we finally know who _she_ is, our job we’ll get smoother, hopefully. We just need visual evidence of the crime committed, we still have nothing but theories and our word for it, you and Bellamy should be good to go. You’re dismissed!”

Clarke pursed her lips and nodded understandably before walking out of the Chief’s office and towards Bellamy.

“ _Let’s go!_ ” Clarke said.

 

*****

 

It was 9.30 AM when Lexa was still wrathfully kicking at the sandbag hanging from their dungeon’s ceiling. Her half covered body was wet with layers of sweat, droplets of it dripping down her forehead and her insanely crimson cheeks. Lexa had a _brother_ —more importantly, Lexa’s father was cheating on her mother, but… _why?_

And much more notably, why did Kane hold this kind of information all these years? Lexa still had the right to know.

Lexa bent down, defeated, on her trembling knees, breathless and hardly panting when she heard an unfamiliar young voice speak;

“I—I’m sorry, I didn’t know where I was going…I’ll just leave—“ _Aden._

“N-no…no, stay—it’s fine, I was done anyway.” The older brunette anxiously spoke with batted breath, watching as the boy nodded and stepped inside, his small hands clutching the ropes circling the small ring.

“It’s a pretty big house you have here.” The boy spoke first, trying to come up with a conversation to break the obstinate silence, Lexa assumed.

“Y-yeah…” Lexa emphasized, “Wanna try?” she then offered, pointing her finger to the sand bag in front of her and watched as Aden’s face beamed at the offer. Lexa involuntarily let a smile paint on her wary features.

The boy slipped his small frame underneath the ropes and faced Lexa, his eyes bright and dancing with anticipation.

“Here…” the older brunette said as she took off her own boxing gloves and slipped them around Aden’s small hands then took a few steps back to give the boy some room.

“Go ahead. Punch it!” Lexa encouraged, nodding her head forward. The little boy didn’t have to be told twice—he lifted his hands up and took a surprisingly strong swing towards the bag, which was soon coasted back quickly sending his small silhouette to the ground.

Lexa let out a small giggle followed by a huff as she walked to help the boy up on his feet again.

“You have to correct your standing stance...” Lexa began, as she demonstrated her words, standing with her left foot a little behind from her right and angling her fists up in front of her face,

 “Like this!” she finished, watching while Aden eagerly nodded then tried to mirror her pose.

“Now try again, but try to be a little soft.” She said, punching the bag, “use the force in your arms, not your whole upper body.”

The boy nodded again, taking another swing at the heavy material and successfully punched it without getting it sent back and dropping him to the ground.

“I did it! Did you see that? Wow, I think I wanna be a boxer one day, and like—strong and stuff, like _you_. That’d be so cool!” Aden rambled earning a longing, soft smile from his sister.

“Y-yeah, I can already picture you kicking some a-a—strong guys” the brunette nervously corrected herself, trying not to sound inappropriate; he was still a child after all.

“You can say ‘ass’, my father says it all the time.” The boy said, crossing his legs and sitting down on the mat. Lexa joined him soon after.

“Y-your father?” she curiously asked.

“Well, he’s not actually my father; he just took me in a few years ago.” Aden clarified before adding, “What about yours?”

“He…he passed away a long time ago.” Lexa replied, fumbling timidly with her wet, bruised knuckles.

 “Mine too. I don’t remember his face. Sometimes I wish I could…” Aden spoke, tears threatening to sip outside his honey colored eyes. Lexa was suddenly hit by a sharp stab of melancholy.

Here she was with a brother she never knew she had.

Lexa felt sympathy and…guilt. This boy—this innocent young boy had nothing wrong to do with her father’s disappointingly, wrong and unwise actions. He too was deprived from the comforting feeling of fatherhood, although it was much more intense and painful than Lexa’s.

The silence was becoming more and more unbearable for the both of them, with each passing minute, Lexa wanted nothing more than to reach forward and hold Aden in her arms, as a hopeless way, to wordlessly assure him that he wasn’t alone, that she was his family, that they both had only each other left. So Lexa did—she stretched her sore, sweaty arms and crashed the boy’s frame into her welcoming arms and felt his body trembling against her chest while she heard the unmistakably sound of the boy’s quiet and muffled sobs.

“I’m sorry Aden…I’m really sorry.” Lexa quietly whispered, still not able to let go of Aden—her _brother_.

“Wow, you smell really bad.” The boy tried to speak against Lexa’s body, earning a weak, genuine chuckle.

“I’m sorry for that too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Lexa finally knows and is surprisingly chill about the whole Aden thing?!!!  
> Tell me what you think about this chapter in the comments and if I should continue with this mess.  
> Also, I'm completely open to criticism of course, so feel free to judge my sloppy writing.


	14. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me :(

Clarke and Bellamy walked towards the receptionist’s counter where a young looking brunette stood behind.

“We’re here to see Mr. Kane!” Bellamy spoke to her first, showing his police badge along with Clarke.

The young woman looked them in the eyes questionably, but soon complied.

“Take the elevator up to the seventeenth floor, his secretary will show you to his office. I’ll give her a call.”

Clarke nodded as both detectives turned on their heels and headed to the elevator. Once they stepped inside, the couple were emerged within a prickly uncomfortable silence.

“So, we know about the Commander’s identity now huh? Finally!” Clarke’s partner spoke, breaking the white noise as the elevator got closer to their destination.

Clarke was once again hit with the invasive image of a flushed Lexa. Countless memories invited themselves into her mind, setting a troubled, sharp feeling in her chest.

“Yeah…we do.” The blonde replied and lowered her gaze down to her wobbling feet while Bellamy just understandably nodded.

“I hope we get something out of him today, once we confront him with what we have.”

“It’s not gonna be easy! Those people live in the same house; they’re probably very close and protective of each other.” Clarke said as the elevator dinged, signalling that they both reached the floor.

“We’ll at least try to figure out their motives—I mean, they already have a shit ton of money already!”

The couple walked out and were quickly faced with another brunette—who they assumed was the secretary.

“Welcome, detectives! I’m Harper—Mr. Kane’s assistant. Would you please follow me to the office, he’s expecting you inside.” The brunette—now with a name, offered gesturing to a polished wooden door.

Clarke and Bellamy sauntered behind the young woman as she finally knocked on Kane’s office door, letting herself and the detectives inside without waiting for permission.

The blonde was soon inside a very modern looking bureau, furniture’s colours danced between dark black and plain white walls that were decorated with numerous paintings—beautiful paintings, Clarke thought; she had an appreciative eye for Art, the blonde was an artist after all.

“Your guests are here Mr. Kane.” Harper informed as she took a few steps towards Kane’s desk, “Do you need me to do anything else, Sir?” she added.

Kane stepped away from his desk and buttoned his expensive navy blue suit vest.

“That would be all, for now, thank you Harper.” The man rounded his desk and paced towards the waiting detectives, reaching his hand once he was standing right in front of them.

“Good morning, detectives! What can I help you with?” Clarke and Bellamy both shook the businessman’s offered hand, surprised as Kane reached his hand to grab their forearms.

“Sorry…Where are my manners? Please, take a seat!” The man apologized and gestured for the two chairs sitting on each side of his swarming desk.

Clarke’s eyes drifted to the papers speckled on the wooden surface. _Is that a map?_ Clarke wondered as she walked to take a seat and to hopefully take a closer look, along with Bellamy by her side.

“Thank you.” Started Bellamy, “I’m sure you’ve heard about the crimes being committed the past few years in Boston—the robberies…” the man added trailing away the last words giving Kane a chance to comply.

The blonde’s eyes were fixed on the large piece of paper sitting on the desk.  _Boston Private Bank,_ the younger detective read.

Why would Kane have a shot of the insides of the bank? Kane caught Clarke’s eyes and followed her line of sight, quickly folding the paper in front of him.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about, detective—nor the reason you’re here, telling me about this.”

“Two of our suspects, assumed to be linked to the felonies, were spotted a few times at your residence. We just want to know what kind of relationship you have with them.” Bellamy clarified, watching Kane as the man anxiously bit his lower lip.

“Anya Rutherford and Lincoln Brooks.” Clarke emphasized.

“Right, yeah… they’re old friends of mine!”

“And how do you explain them being present in every crime location?”

Kane’s face turned pale at the new information admitted by the male detective. Biting the inside of his left cheek, Kane crossed his arms on his desk and looked at the couple in turns.

“I’d have to call my lawyer in order to continue this conversation.” The man bit with a firm, intimidating tone.

Clarke nodded. _Of course he would want a lawyer now!_ Bellamy stood up from his seat first; slapping his palms on his thighs, and was soon followed by Clarke.

“Expect a call in the next couple of days. We’re going to proceed with this questioning back in the police station.” Bellamy said with a fuming tone, turning on his heels to reach the exit door while Clarke still stood there with a rigid pose, her eyes scanning Kane’s figure.

“Clarke…” her partner called after noticing that the blonde woman hadn’t followed behind.

“Have a good rest of your day, Sir…” Clarke started to walk off before turning around to address Kane one last time, “Tell Lexa I said hi!” The young detective continued, watching as the old man’s face broke into a feature of sheer confusion before both she and Bellamy walked out the door.

“Did you see that?” Clarke spoke to Bellamy as they stepped inside the elevator.

“I guess we have a pretty good idea of their next stop.” Bellamy replied with a mischievous smile.

 

*****

 

Anya was standing motionlessly at the window of her room, her arms crossed on her chest. She was watching Lexa while she and the young boy that Kane brought home, were sparing with wooden swords.

The older woman was suddenly hit by an uninhabited sense of nostalgia, remembering a smaller version of the brunette struggling with the heavy wooden material in her hands.

Anya smiled.

_“It’s so heavy!” the ten year old Lexa whined, holding the sword between her fragile knuckles, earning a chuckle from Anya. The woman shook her head in amusement as she watched the helpless brunette._

_“It’ll get lighter, just give it some time!” Anya sauntered towards Lexa, taking the material out of her hold and started skilfully swinging the sword earning an admirable glance from the little girl before her._

_“Wow…when can I be as cool as you? Also, why am I so weak? Like I can’t even swing it without cracking a bone in my shoulder, I’m so—“_

_“Stop! I wasn’t swinging swords getting out of my mother’s womb in case you didn’t know. I had to practice…just like you’re doing right now.” Anya cut off Lexa’s complaints, pointing the sword into her chest._

_“I know but—“_

_“No buts, kid!” Anya interrupted the younger girl once again; she crouched down in front of Lexa and held her right hand between both of hers, gently squeezing the small fingers before she added, “And you’re going to be as strong one day too. Physical strength is important, yes, but what really matters is the strength of a mind. A strong arm gets you through a fight, but a strong mind…it gets you through life.”_  

_Lexa’s green eyes beamed with a new light, with a palpable gaze of respect and admiration to the woman’s words of wisdom, though Lexa could barely make out any sense in Anya’s advice, still she felt the prominence and significance of every word the woman just uttered._

_Anya smiled at the young girl, still holding her green gaze captive._

_“Your eyes Lexa…They’re strong enough to make a great leader out of you. Your eyes don’t reflect the light…they are the light!” Anya confessed, reaching a bruised hand to gently caress one of Lexa’s crimson cheeks, “In fact, I don’t even know how such an ugly man as your father was so lucky to have such a beautiful girl with such breath-taking eyes!” the older woman then joked, hearing a little soft giggle slip out of Lexa’s heaving chest, making her own tighten with a pleasant feeling of satisfaction._

_“He wouldn’t be so happy to hear about that…” Lexa said with a snarky mischievous smirk._

_Anya slapped her sweaty palms on her thighs to help herself up and held Lexa’s hand in her own before she spoke again._

_“Tell you what? How about I buy you some pizza in exchange for your silence, Heda?”_

_“I guess that would be a fair deal, but first—“ Lexa replied, snatching the wooden sword away from Anya into her own hands, positioning her body into the fighting stance that the woman once taught her about, “I have yet to hit a single bone in your body, grandma!”_

_“You did not just call me that!” Anya stormed forward in an attempt to catch Lexa in her arms, but the little girl soon sprinted away and ran towards the house, trying to escape the older woman, her voice breaking into wheezing, loud giggles._

_And Anya? Anya never felt happier._

 

“They got along surprisingly fast, huh?” Anya’s pleasing memories were fragmented into pieces as the unmistakable, rough voice of Lincoln cut her off of her haze. The man stood by her side, his eyes fixed on a giggling Aden, splayed on the ground while Lexa hovered above him, straddling his small frame and attacking his sides with her knuckles.

“Yeah…” Anya trailed off, her gaze never leaving the two young people.

“She’s going to be a great mentor one day…” Lincoln averted his eyes to look at Anya, “Just like you.” He finished.

Anya turned her head so she could connect her eyes to Lincoln’s. His eyes held nothing but affection and respect. The man always admired how Anya had managed to be such a strong but affectionate person. How Anya’s soft side always found the surface whenever she looked at Lexa. And only at Lexa.

“Believe me when I say…Lexa has taught me more than I could have ever taught her.”

“I know.” _I believe you!_ Lincoln wanted to say.

 

*****

 

“P-p-please…Ahh L-exa, stop, I’m gonna choke!” Aden stuttered between batted breaths at Lexa’s assaulting fingers on his friable ribs.

“That’s what you get for kicking me in the stomach!” Lexa warned as she pulled her fingers away from her brother’s small frame and got back up on her feet, reaching a shaky hand and pulling him steadily up too.

The brunette watched the young boy’s flushed cheeks, his light honey brown eyes bright and sunny; his cute tired chortle as he forced his breaths to a calm pace. Lexa felt a sharp tug in her chest—in her stomach too; her heart fluttered and the brunette couldn’t remember the last time she felt this… _happy._

“That didn’t help much with your ego, right?” Aden joked, still not the slightest bit threatened by the older brunette.

“Careful! Show some respect for your _Heda!”_ Lexa warned again, hopelessly trying to keep a stoic feature and fighting the sturdy urge to smile at the boy’s provocative words.

“That nickname is so cool! I really want one too.” Aden spoke, still somewhat breathless. Reverence and veneration leaking through his crimson features. Lexa felt it all; she felt how much Aden revelled in the authority she displayed; the respectful glances she received; the firm and stable tone she spoke with. Lexa almost predicted Aden’s next words.

“I want to be _Heda_ too…”

The brunette’s face fell into a neutral stance at the statement.

Lexa thought of her life; she thought of how unpleasant and disturbing would it be to grant her brother the same fate as her own. She didn’t want it; she wanted Aden to have nothing but a peaceful, normal life.

The brunette’s body shook with a vibrating and unfamiliar sense of protectiveness. Lexa wanted to keep him safe; Aden was too benign to suffer such a vicious life.

“The only thing you’d be called is a corpse, if you don’t walk your ass inside!”

“How mean…and here I thought you were the second nicest person after Mr. Kane in this house.” Aden joked, earning a fake glare from the older brunette.

“How are you this sassy? You’re like—what? Nine?”

“It runs in my blood.” The young boy replied, finally walking forward towards the house and soon followed by the brunette.

“Yeah…it runs in mine too…” Lexa quietly murmured to herself. She wondered if she and her brother shared the same amount of stubbornness and bravery, but rationality too. Lexa didn’t think too much of it, she still has enough time to find out.

 

*****

 

“I want as many guys as possible around the Bank, tonight!” Cage Wallace ordered his second in command—Emerson, the man was called.

Cage took a seat on his large, black leather chair, a cigar held captive between his chapped lips while Emerson was standing with a strong, straight stance in front of the other man’s office desk.

“We’re assuming that Kane would make a move and try to take away some files. And I don’t trust the Bank’s security to protect my belongings!” Cage added.

Emerson nodded his head submissively. The man heard a lot about Kane’s connection to the well-known Commander; he was also well aware of the threat she imposed.

“Don’t worry about it, Sir! We’ll keep them safe.” The man promised and watched Cage as he slowly stood up from his seat, his cigar now held in his hand.

“There’s something else I need you to do…” Cage trailed off, looking right into Emerson’s eyes. “The _Commander_ …If she ever shows up, kill her!” he added with a cold, authoritative tone. “I want her _dead_.”

Emerson couldn’t help but smile at the unexpected order.

 

*****

 

Clarke couldn’t wait as the time flew quickly. It was 6 PM and she was preparing herself—along with Bellamy and their back-up team for their journey to the Boston Private Bank.

The blonde was suddenly hit with realization… _Lexa_. She concisely pondered and wondered if the brunette would be the one in charge of their whole plan to ambush the bank, but then again, Clarke knew that Lexa would certainly be there. Lexa was always there.

“Detectives!” Her small train of thoughts was crashed at the sight of Chief Jaha walking out of his office.

“Chief!” Bellamy called back, tucking his heavy gun into the belt circling his waist.

“I just wanted to tell you guys that it’s been a hell of a ride until this day—the day we finally get our hands on those criminals. I trust you guys won’t come back here without her.” Jaha spoke, his tone nothing but encouraging and desperately trying to spur some determination and faith.

Clarke blinked her eyes worriedly. Were they actually going to do this? Was the day they all anticipated finally coming? Instead of feeling fortitude and resilience, Clarke unexpectedly felt… _scared._

“Oh! And just a reminder—“Jaha started again, “Be careful! This isn’t going to be easy… _she_ is everything but easy.”

 _But Lexa was nothing but easy._ Clarke thought to herself, remembering how easy it was for Clarke to drive Lexa’s cold knuckles to dance on her warm skin; how it was easy for her to melt within the consoling, soft touch; how the brunette’s head slipped easily in the crook of the blonde’s neck; how easily Lexa sighed against the skin that Clarke had willingly offered; how Lexa’s ragged and heavy breath sounded and felt like they just found their home.

Clarke precipitously shook the venomous thoughts away from her mind. She couldn’t allow herself to feel this needy and conflicted.

Not now.

Not ever.

“We’ll do the best we can. Come on guys!” Bellamy assured and promised not only Jaha, but himself too.

Clarke noiselessly walked behind her partner and was followed by the rest of their colleagues.

 

Once Bellamy parked the black SUV away from the bank, careful not to draw a much less needed attention, he turned his head facing the blonde. Her brows furrowed; Clarke looked more worried and tense than she usually does.

“Nervous?” The man asked with a whisper, watching as Clarke’s blue gaze connected with his.

“N-no…I’m just worried, I guess.” The blonde let out a wobbly breath as she uttered the words.

 _The lie_.

Bellamy understandably nodded before he spoke again, reaching his strong arm and gently tugging Clarke’s cold hands into his own, “We’ve been waiting for this day for far too long. I know how much you wanted this…how much we all do.” He said, soothing Clarke’s wrist with comforting caresses.

 _But I no longer want this!_ Clarke wanted to shout at the top of her lungs. _I—I don’t want to hurt her!_

Why? Why did Lexa have to be so gentle? Why did she have to be so mistakenly different? Why did her bruised fingers have to feel so delicate? And her eyes, _God her eyes…_ why did they have to look at Clarke like she was her long lost lover—her soulmate? _Why?_

But all Clarke managed to do was just nod.

The blonde looked away from Bellamy and her gaze drifted to the car’s tinted windows, along with her hand.

“Now what?” Clarke asked.

“Now we wait!”

 

*****

 

It was exactly 1 AM when Kane silently walked into his house, dropping his keys on the nearest table, nervously pinching the small swell between his eyebrows.

His tightly shut eyes opened to be finally met with the worried glances of Anya and Lincoln walking down the stairs. Their black tight pants loaded with sharp knives and multiple fire arms hanging from their belts.

“Where’s Aden? You can’t just walk around like that when he’s here!” Kane spoke with a shaking, cagy voice.

“Don’t worry! He’s upstairs sleeping, and there’s a guard right outside his door…We’d know if he ever came out.” Anya assured, tugging at her leather jacket’s tight sleeves.

The older man nodded, letting out a relieved sigh, “Is Lexa ready?” He then asked.

“She’ll be down in a minute.” Lincoln informed, he and Anya both standing in front of Kane.

“The police know about you two…” The older man spoke, breaking the brief moment of silence,

“They were in my office this morning. They spotted you in the few last places we had to take down, and they followed you here too, they somehow managed to make a connection.”

Anya and Lincoln exchanged confused and equally worried glances.

“They still have nothing. It could still be a coincidence.” Anya explained.

“Yeah, they need much more evidence of us being involved than just us being there at the wrong time and place!” Lincoln emphasized Anya’s point, watching as Kane nodded, defeated.

“Still, you should both be careful not to draw any more attention. We don’t want things to take a bad turn now, especially now that we’re so close.” The older man warned, pointing his finger at the couple, “Also, Lexa doesn’t need to know about this!” He finished.

“What don’t I need to know?” Lexa abruptly emerged into the vast space and walked to where they were all standing.

Kane swallowed thickly.

“Kane cleared the house from any lighters!” Lincoln jumped through the palpable tension in an attempt to save the situation. Lexa just knowingly nodded.

“Do you have the map for the bank?” Kane wondered, directing his gaze to Anya and Lincoln.

“Yep! Right here!” Anya replied, reaching a hand into her pocket and drawing a folded piece of paper.

“Good, now don’t forget to take some Tech guys along to break into the security system, and to shut down the surveillance cameras!”

“They’re already waiting outside, don’t worry about that, we got it!” Lincoln explained.

“It’s not like this is our first job, you better chill!” Lexa joked, nudging Kane’s shoulder with her own; a bright grin painted her red lips. Kane was surprised by the sudden playfulness; he wasn’t expecting Lexa to be still treating him so…nicely. Not after the bomb he dropped on her last night.

But Kane smiled back, happily.

“Okay then…Let’s go!”

 

*****

 

Clarke’s eyes burned. She was so tired she literally had to fight against her eyes’ will to fall closed. They’ve been waiting outside the bank for hours; still no one had showed up yet.

“Here you go, another shot of espresso!” Bellamy suddenly stepped back inside the vehicle, handing Clarke the small cup of coffee.

“Thanks!”

“Why are we still here? It’s almost two in the morning and no one has showed up yet, we’re not sure if it’s due tonight.” Clarke slipped her complain, yawning and earning an amused chuckle from her partner.

“I’d fucking camp here for a week if it meant we’d finally get to take them down!”

“Well sorry, some people just don’t enjoy being night owls like yourself!” the blonde joked, drifting her eyes towards Bellamy, surprised as she noticed her partner’s eyes narrowly fixed on something outside.

“Look!” Bellamy suddenly demanded from the blonde, “Those men have been standing outside the bank since the minute we got here!”

“Well that sounds suspicious. Do you think it’s them?” Clarke wondered.

“I’m not quite sure, I’ve never seen them before—and I assure you, I have seen every single man that works for her. She has the same men on her tale in every mission.”

“Then…who might they be?”

“Only one way to find out!” Bellamy started, “We wait until they make their move!”

 

*****

 

Anya parked their car a few blocks away from their target and slipped out of the vehicle while Lexa and Lincoln did the same soon after.

“Remember the plan?” Lincoln asked, fixing the gun tucked in the back of his pants.

“Yeah…yeah, act drunk as fuck and then knock out the poor oblivious guys, what’s new?” Anya recalled for the thousandth time.

Lincoln just smiled, watching as his partner took a few steps away from them before suddenly turning her back to face him with a strong tug on her elbow.

“Be careful…please!”

“You too…” he older woman replied looking at both Lincoln and Lexa. _Lexa_. The brunette was obviously still mad at her. Her green eyes didn’t even dare a single glance towards the older woman.

“Keep an eye on her.” Anya quietly whispered to Lincoln.

“I will.” The man promised before watching the woman walk out away from them and towards the bank.

 

It took Anya a whole five minutes to get to the entrance; her frame secretly hidden behind the wall at the right, dark corner of the building. She let out a long sigh and fixed her hair into what would look like a drunken mess.

The woman soon wobbled her feet towards the two guards standing at the large metal door leading to the underground parking lot.

“Is it safe yet?” she spoke into the microphone buried in her sleeve.

_“We disabled the cameras, you’re good to go!”_

As soon as she heard the words, Anya proceeded into the following plan. Walking unsteadily in front of the guards and soon made a sudden move to drop her body to the ground; the two men quickly ran to her side as they were expected to, one of them grabbing her arm.

“Madam? Are you alright?” One of them wondered curiously, watching Anya’s feature fall into a smug glance. Knitting their eyebrows, the two guards took a single step back from the woman, clearly confused, before they were both hit with a sharp material making them wince and knocking them unconscious on the ground.

“Nice job, guys!” Anya spoke to the two men that just attacked the guards from behind.

“Clear!” she then spoke to an impatient and worried Lincoln into the material still clinging to her wrist and walked along her partners inside.

 

*****

 

“ _Sir! They’re here!”_ One of Emerson’s men spoke through the talkie-walkie.

Emerson mischievously smiled at the new information he just got given.

“Let’s go!” He ordered the rest of his men.

 

*****

 

Anya was soon joined by Lincoln and Lexa inside the spacious garage. All holding their fire arms close in front of them.

“Rob, I need the code for the entrance door!” Anya requested.

 _“Just give me another second, the password changes every forty minutes!”_ They all sighed, waiting until the Tech guy spoke again, “ _Got it! It’s 87HFG392HE39…guys you have exactly thirty nine minutes to get your shit and get out of there!”_

“What about the cameras inside?” Lexa breathlessly asked.

_“Overshadowed! The same peaceful scene will be repeating itself for the next forty minutes!”_

“Alright, let’s move!”

Anya typed the required code, grinning as the red light turned green. She looked back at her partners before she spoke again.

“Lincoln, cover me!” And she quickly stormed inside the bright lightened space, holding her gun and skillfully pointing the metal material to the three guards standing inside.

The first silent shot hit the first man straight in the shoulder, while Lincoln and Lexa stormed behind taking down the other two and then knocking them unconscious.

“Where do we go from here?” Lincoln asked as he stripped the sleeping men from their weapons and watched as Anya pulled out the map. Unfolding the piece of paper, the woman finally spoke;

“The door to the right!” she tilted her head towards the door’s direction.

“Lexa! Take it from here! We’ll be outside the door once you finish.” Anya gestured with a tilt of her head for the young brunette to walk inside the small space.

Before Lexa could take another step forward, one of their men stepped inside the door behind them, all eyes drifted to his frame, they all gasped at his bloody state. Head throbbing with what looked like floods of blood sipping through his mouth; then before they even took another breath, the man fell lifelessly to the ground.

Everyone’s eyes were fixed at the open door, waiting for the inevitable.

A strong, tall man walked inside, followed by a dozen others, all heavily armed, with guns and knives, all of them pointed to the shocked trio.

 _Emerson…_ Anya recognized.

“Did we interrupt something?” Emerson sarcastically spoke, his smug face drawing blood up to Anya’s furious red eyes.

“You did…” The older woman bit back, pointing her gun right to his head.

“I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but I think it’s time to go home.”

“Such a fair fight you’re offering here.” Lincoln replied, gesturing with his gun towards the men behind Emerson.

The cold man’s gaze flew back to his men then rode back towards the trio before fixing itself on Lexa. Anya followed the irritably smug man’s eyesight and visibly gulped.

“Don’t you dare!” She warned through gritted teeth.

Lexa stood at the back with a passive stoic stance, watching the scene unfold before her eyes. _This was getting a lot worse than I expected!_ The brunette thought to herself.

Lexa dropped her arms that were still holding the heavy fire arm to her sides and sauntered slowly towards the man, earning a warning glance from Anya,

“Lexa! Don’t—“ But the younger brunette soon held her palm up, silencing the other women immediately.

Lexa walked steadily until her face was just a small inches away from Emerson’s.

_“Your eyes Lexa…They’re strong enough to make a great leader out of you. Your eyes don’t reflect the light…they are the light!”_

Lexa briefly remembered Anya’s still lingering words. Her green eyes caught on fire, bright with rage and danger, held the man’s wary, blinking ones captive.

“You have two options—One, you shoot me right here...” Lexa hissed, pointing to her forehead, “And prove how much of a fucking coward you really are—or two, you tell your minions to drop their guns and handle me like the man you think yourself to be…”

Lexa’s eyes still bore into Emerson’s, her heart secretly pounding quickly, threatening to jump out of her ribs, until she dared a few more provoking words.

“Or am I too dangerous for you?” the brunette whispered mockingly.

As soon as those words escaped her lips, Lexa was suddenly hit with a sharp tug in the top of her stomach as the man took a sudden, unexpected swing into her body, making the young girl bend on her knees in front of him.

Lexa, with her head still tilted down and blood leaking from her mouth, smirked.

She got what she wanted.

The girl launched herself up with a loud growl, “Ahh!”— sending a strong blow to the man’s jaw; his body jerked backwords losing his balance.

Suddenly the place turned into a fucking mess.

Everyone just launched themselves at each other. Lincoln and Anya tugging their guns in the back of their waistbands and hollered their bodies towards the men running towards them, leaving Lexa to deal with Emerson.

Lexa charged again with a roar like a bull, Emerson sidestepped and whirled to face her while Lexa lunged once again. He avoided one flying fist, only to collide with another. The blow connected to his ribcage, a sharp sting fading fast.

Lexa grinned and jabbed again at his midsection.

 _Block. Shove away. Back off._  The younger girl remembered Anya’s teachings.

Lexa abruptly turned to the man lying on the ground, bleeding, already bruised and launched a strong kick that soon connected to his head, sending it flying into the other side.

Emerson lay on the floor, passed out or dead, Lexa didn’t want to stay long enough to find out.

“Let’s go!” She shouted and turned to see Lincoln and Anya forcing the last men to hit the ground.

“The roof! Rob, the helicopter! Now!” Anya screamed through the microphone.

_“It’s already waiting up on the roof, hurry up, we don’t have time! The police are outside too!”_

“But the files—“

“No Lexa! Not now, we need to get you home!” Lincoln grabbed Lexa’s arm, dragging her out of the door as they all headed for the stairs.

 

*****

 

“Bellamy, look! They’re going in, let’s go—“ Clarke’s eyes suddenly widened as they landed on the trio making their way inside the building. Lexa on their tales. _She’s here!_

_She’s here!_

“No! Wait! Not yet, there’s more…there’s more people watching them too, j-just wait! Look, they followed them inside.”

But Clarke wasn’t going to wait, _fuck no!_

The blonde stormed outside the car, running towards the door and ignoring Bellamy’s helpless calls.

“Back-up! Call back-up!” Clarke shouted as she emerged into the dark space.

It was all surprisingly quiet; the blonde slipped her gun into her hands, glancing from side to side waiting for any sudden movement. She noticed the door that lead inside to the safe was still open, a leg peeking through it.

Clarke thought better than to just walk inside the dark space, so she waited for Bellamy—who soon emerged inside followed by their colleagues.

“Clarke! Are you fucking crazy? You should have waited!” Bellamy scolded the younger detective, holding her arm and stepping inside the dark room.

Lifeless bodies lay there, unconscious.

“Wait for what? Until everyone gets killed?” _Until Lexa gets killed?_ Clarke wanted to say.

Bellamy’s mouth fell open as to finally speak before they all heard a roaring sound nearing the building. _A helicopter_ , Clarke, along with everyone in the room realized.

“Let’s go! Hurry up! They’re running away again!”.

 

*****

 

Lexa breathlessly climbed the stairs behind Lincoln and Anya, but soon heard numerous steps following them.

“Guys! We have to split; we can’t run around together, we’ll be an easier target.” Lexa suggested still rapidly running up the stairs.

“You two go! I’ll distract them!” the younger brunette added.

“No!” Anya protested; Lincoln looked like contemplating the sudden suggestion.

“She’s right.” The man admitted. “Let’s go Anya!”

Anya halted her pace, pacing down until she was standing in front of Lexa. The older reached her shaking hand and held Lexa’s and squeezed her knuckles.

“Be careful…please!”

Lexa’s stoic gaze got softer at Anya’s worried tone.

“You too, see you at home.” Lexa promised then took an abrupt turn, ripping her hands away from Anya’s. The couple soon disappeared behind the door leading to the roof, leaving Lexa behind.

Lexa kept running through the empty corridors, still followed but a few of Emerson’s men. The brunette took a sharp turn to her right and sheltered her frame behind a wall at the corner and leaned her back against the wall.

The young girl sighed before turning back and randomly firing at the men shooting back at her.

Lexa leaned back against the wall, her heart beats flaring before she held her gun back to shoot at the men; as soon as she turned away from the wall—the brunette felt an abrupt numbing pain settle on her shoulder. She just got fucking shot. Lexa winced at the tugging ache and turned on her heels to run away again.

 

*****

 

Clarke and Bellamy climbed the stairs, followed by the other cops.

“Hurry up! Hurry up!” Bellamy encouraged his colleagues and his soon landed on the trio a few steps ahead, still not able to see their faces.

Noticing that one of them took a different turn than the others.

“Go after her! I’ll follow the others!” Bellamy suggested, speaking to Clarke and tilting his head towards the door on their right.

Clarke wordlessly complied, quickly running inside through the metal door and noticing a few other men running ahead in the bright corridors.

Clarke slowed her pace and held her gun tighter and soon heard the loud gunshots pierce within her ears. _Lexa!_ Clarke ran mindlessly sauntered ahead, her eyes falling on the three men ahead of her.

The blonde skilfully shot the men and successfully knocking their lifeless bodies to the ground before she stepped over one of the men’s bodies lying on the ground and continued to slowly and carefully walk through the empty space.

Her blue eyes fell to the ground, droplets of blood splayed around, leading her towards a closed door. The blonde soon heard other gunshots being fired and turned to her right, bracing herself for another assault—but before Clarke could fire another shot, the door tersely swung open and she was briskly shoved inside.

Clarke growled, fighting the heavy body pressing her own against the cold wall, her eyes shut tightly.

“ _Shhh…”_ Clarke felt a strangely soft palm against her quivering lips. _That voice._ Clarke finally opened her blue eyes to be soon met with flaring green.

_Lexa._

 

*****

 

“Anya! Climb in!” Lincoln called from inside the helicopter, reaching a hand to the older woman still behind him.

“But Lexa—“

“She’ll be fine! It’s Lexa…she’ll be fine.” Lincoln reassured, the woman hesitantly reaching her own hand towards his. Lincoln gripped the soft knuckles to drag Anya inside but they were soon greeted with the dozens of police men emerging from the metal door.

Anya turned around at the hasty loud sound of gunshots as the cops started to open fire.

Anya still made an effort to climb inside the vehicle but—

Her lungs suddenly ached. Anya couldn’t breathe anymore. She reached a furiously shaking hand towards her painfully aching chest. _Blood—_ that was the only thing covering her fingers once she pulled out her hand away from her ribs.

_Blood!_

_Blood!_

_So much blood!_

“ _No…_ ” Lincoln’s eyes filled with tears at the sheer realization.

This didn’t just happen! No! Anya couldn’t have been shot!

No!

“Go!” Lincoln screamed at the pilot as he pulled Anya’s heaving body into the helicopter while the police continued opening fire on the vehicle in order to halt their attempt to escape.

Their efforts fruitless, as the helicopter quickly flew away from the building.

Lincoln held Anya’s limp body tightly in his arms and fell on his knees, placing the breathless woman in his lap. His eyes still wide in disbelief and denial.

“L—Lexa…go back to—“

“No! Please…j-just please, stop talking, she’ll be alright…you’ll be alright! Please…” Lincoln broke into a noiseless sob, his trembling hand caressing Anya’s face.

“J-just p-promise me…” the woman took a sharp intake of oxygen, blood flooding and sipping through her dry lips, “Pr-promise me, Lincoln! Y—you’ll protect her! D-don’t fail her, not like I j-just did…”

“Just shut up, Anya! I’ll protect her—we’ll protect her, together!” Lincoln could hardly speak.

Anya smiled.

Anya nodded.

“M—my fight i—“ the woman let out a ragged sigh, “—is over…”

Anya took in another breath.

Her last breath.

Lincoln’s eyes shut tightly. He shook Anya’s lifeless body in his arms, desperately trying to wake her up.

“Please…no! Don’t leave me…” _I love you! Don’t leave me!_

But Anya was long gone.

Anya was dead.

Lincoln just sobbed like a five year old child.

 

*****

 

Warm green boring into cold but soft blue.

Heavy breaths tangled within each other.

A wet palm still burning against chapped lips.

Green eyes dancing through hard and confused features.

Fingers strongly gripping a thin clothed hip.

“Are you gonna be quiet or not?” Lexa spoke finally, watching as the blonde eagerly nodded.

The brunette softened her grip on the girl’s waist; her shaking knuckles hesitantly and slightly backing away from the blonde’s lips, but not before running the bloody fingers softly on the surface of plum flesh.

Her eyes still fixed on Clarke’s mouth, heavily breathing against it; their shabby breaths felt like one. Clarke’s face was close _, too close_.

The brunette’s cold fingers moved slowly and gently from Clarke’s hips towards the blonde’s arm. Her hands softly traveling down the exposed and wet skin. Lexa ran her palm on top of Clarke’s, her eyes still holding Clarke’s captive and hearing the girl against her take a shrill breath, Lexa gripped the gun in Clarke’s hand squeezing their fingers together.

“You’re bleeding…” Lexa’s gaze flew to connect with a surprisingly worried one. With her mouth still ajar, Lexa abruptly backed away from Clarke, wincing at the sharp tug in her shoulder and tucking the detective’s fire gun into her waist.

“No shit, Sherlock!” Lexa rolled her eyes before averting them around the small space, looking for a way out and trying to ignore the girl’s worried glances.

“Great! You still have time to make jokes.” Clarke bit back, walking until her body was right behind Lexa’s.

The brunette felt a gentle touch on the back of her shoulder and suddenly gasped and jolted her body away, leaving Clarke’s hand hanging in the air.

“It’s over, Lexa! You can’t runaway…I’s over.” Clarke informed the brunette and gasped as Lexa gruffly turned around, their faces a small inches apart once again.

“No! You don’t know shit about me—“the brunette hissed, “ _My fight is not over!_ ” _I promised Anya I would be back!_ Lexa recalled.

Clarke blinked at the words; intimidated by the sharp tone and the hazardous green gaze before they both heard the slow, cautious steps outside the door.

Lexa’s neck snapped as her head flew towards the closed door. Reaching a trembling palm to silence Clarke, Lexa stepped in front of the door quickly pointing her gun to it with her unharmed hand and waited.

She didn’t wait long until the door swung open revealing another cop—who was soon knocked unconscious on the floor as the brunette collided the metal fire arm with his head.   

 “Why did you do that?” Clarke shouted.

Lexa dropped on her knees, her back facing Clarke and started stripping the man from his work costume.

“He’ll be fine! He’ll just suffer a small headache for a few days, chill!” Lexa replied.

“Unbelievable!” Clarke soon stood at the brunette’s side, “And do you think that I would just let you walk out the doo—“ Clarke’s eyes bulged out of her skull as she watched the brunette strip down her own clothes.

“W-what’re you doing?” Clarke stuttered.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Lexa sarcastically replied, her hands travelling down to the waistband of her pants, tugging the belt open and unzipping the material.

Clarke’s eyes widely scanned the brunette’s movements as Lexa tucked her black, tight pants down to her ankles and stepped out of them.

Lexa was covered with nothing but matching black underwear and a sports bra.

_Are those tattoos?_

Clarke couldn’t believe the breathtakingly beautiful and complex paintings decorating the brunette’s bicep and the ones delicately dancing down her back.

Lexa started wearing the cop’s attire now, leaving Clarke in a motionless stance. Clarke’s eyes blinked at the hasty small wince the brunette let out as she helplessly tried to put on the dark blue blouse. The blonde wordlessly slipped towards Lexa until she was facing her again.

Her trembling fingers gently gripping Lexa’s; halting their movement. Lexa’s eyes snapped up to meet Clarke’s.

“What are—“

“Oh will you just shut your front door for a second?” Clarke cut off the girl’s protests as she moved Lexa’s hands away from the soft material and wrapped her own hands on both sides of the blouse’s collar, tugging Lexa tightly against her body.

She started buttoning the girl’s clothe, her eyes dancing around the wet swell between the brunette’s cleavage.

Clarke gulped, not aware of Lexa’s eyes searching for hers.

“Here…all done.” The blonde’s blue eyes flew up to the other girl’s features. Very inviting, thick and parted lips quivering so close to hers.

Clarke’s features fell into a confused stance as she felt Lexa take a step forward, pressing their bodies flat against each other again.

The brunette’s hand slowly soared to the back of Clarke’s neck making her gulp in anticipation. Their colourful eyes found each other yet again and Clarke fell breathless. _What the fuck is Lexa trying to do?_ Clarke’s question was swallowed back inside her sore throat as soon as Lexa spoke her next words.

“I’m sorry…” Lexa whispered against Clarke’s lips, “Time to go to sleep…”

“Wh—“ Clarke’s attempt to speak just vanished as she felt a sharp sting on the side of her neck.

_Did she just fucking—_

And Clarke’s blue eyes disappeared behind the dark curtains of her own eyelids, her body falling to the ground before the brunette caught her thin limp frame in her arms.

“I’m sorry…” Lexa whispered again, caressing the soft skin of Clarke’s rosy cheeks.

The brunette laid the blonde’s body slowly on the ground before stepping out the door and running towards the back door of the building and easily slipping through dozens of police officers and climbing inside the black SUV that they previously parked a few blocks away.

Lexa sighed.

She was going back home.

She was going back to Aden.

To Anya.

 _If Lexa only knew._     

 

 

   

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Anya...yeah...she's gone!  
> The next chapter would be fucking loaded with emotions and yeah, Lexa would have to deal with a lot of self resentment and guilt with the whole not having a closure with Anya.  
> Prepare yourselves, it's getting intense!  
> Tell me how'd you feel about this chapter in the comments, or just feel free to yell at me.


	15. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small time jump forward.....but....like... Y'ALL!!!

It has been exactly eleven months. Eleven exceedingly excruciating months and Lexa still managed to find herself drunkenly kneeling on her knees in front of the same grave she’s been falling asleep next to every single night.

Lexa’s body lay there on the muddy floor, a half empty bottle of vodka hugged snugly to her chockfull chest.

This place was a hole, a dark and limitless empty hole which Lexa found herself constantly and relentlessly walking through in the daytime, and falling into at night.

Losing Anya was hell.

Lexa didn’t want anything. She didn’t want one thing but one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when she thought Anya would be there forever. Still she knew—Lexa was certain that she could go her whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one she desperately wanted back.

 _You’ll get over it!_ Lexa lost count on how many times she has heard these words—those weak, meaningless words. Losing Anya altered Lexa’s life forever. She couldn’t just get over it…not when ‘it’ is the person she mostly loved and cared about, the person who shaped Lexa into the woman she is—or was.

The pain might one day stop, but the gap never closes. How could it? The fact of losing someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made settling or soothing by death. No.

This hole in Lexa’s heart is in the shape of Anya and no one else can ever fit it. Why would Lexa ever want them to?

Lexa lost Anya. Not just all at once, no. She lost her in pieces over a long time—the way her phone stopped ringing, signaling the older woman’s constant worried and nosy calls; the way Anya’s scent faded from every space in their house; even the way Anya’s chair always sat empty at the dinner table.

Gradually, Lexa accumulated the parts of her that were gone. When the idea of Anya not being there, of her being absent, when the reality of it all finally starting to overwhelm her by the end of the day—there comes another day and another specifically missing part, drowning Lexa again into the grief.

Losing Anya hurt. It was the kind of pain Lexa didn’t feel was real at first, but when she did—it took her breath away. It killed her. Grief was now a part of her, a piece of her own body. That’s why Lexa couldn’t let go, not yet—how could anyone rip off a piece of their body?  

Lexa knew one thing, only one single thing. She was never going to stop grieving Anya, for one reason—because she loved her. And as long as Lexa still loves her, she will sure as hell still grieve over her.

Lexa’s phone suddenly vibrated inside her back pocket, crashing down her toxic yet comforting thoughts. She brought her limp, trembling knuckles up to her face and wiped the salty burning liquid dancing down her eyes—her no longer ablaze, green eyes. Lexa sniffed, ignoring the intruding call.

Her eyes hid once again behind dark curtains, diving back inside the dark hole that was now a home to Lexa’s bruised soul.

“You’re missing from me…I miss you…” Lexa whispered with a croaky voice for no one to hear. Because—yes, Anya was missing from her, like the woman was a piece of Lexa’s weak body which she couldn’t even function without, like Anya was a vein, like Anya was a thumping heart.

“I miss you so, very much every day and I’m sorry…” Lexa chokingly mumbled again, “I’m so, so sorry.” And Lexa’s whole numb body vibrated, exploding with a loud sob.

_Why did you leave me?_

_Why?_

_Come back! Please!_

 

*****

 

Eleven long months have passed since the last time Clarke saw Lexa—the Commander was no longer a threat; the crimes seized to exist, at least the ones Lexa committed.

It’s like the brunette vanished from the surface of the planet.

Clarke still thought she knew the reason why, though. She wondered about how much the intensity of Anya’s death must have impacted the brunette. She wondered what Lexa could have been going through, because from what Clarke gathered from her last interaction with the older woman; Anya sure sounded like the closest person Lexa held to her heat.

The possessiveness and the protectiveness Anya displayed at their last encounter gave it away. 

It also have been exactly eleven months since Clarke have decided to take a couple years of break from her wary job.

The blonde couldn’t handle all the tension and stress she was imposed under.

_“Clarke? Clarke, are you alright? Hey…come on wake up!” Bellamy’s rough voice rang inside Clarke’s whistling ears before her blue eyes fell open._

_“Clarke! Hey, where is she? Where’s Lexa?” Bellamy kept speaking, holding Clarke’s body in his arms._

_“I—she…she left” Lexa left._

_“It’s alright. You’re gonna be alright! Let’s get you up on your feet, come on!”_

_But Bellamy didn’t know. He didn’t know that the last thing Clarke was worried about was her own safety._

_Was Lexa safe?_

_Did she escape?_

_One thing troubled Clarke yet kept her at ease._

_One thing._

_Lexa escaped._

_Lexa was free._

_Lexa was safe._

The blonde shook her head in order to clear it from the invasive memories that were making her stomach roil with a painless tug.

If anyone could have known how loss feels like, it was Clarke. If anyone had the ability to feel Lexa’s pain, it was Clarke.

She still suffers the absence of Jake—her father. Clarke didn’t recover from the pain, she just got used to it; she’s learned to live with it—within it.

Clarke was kneeled before the tombstone of her father. With warm tears seeping from her gloomy eyes, Clarke reached her hand and laid a single white rose on top of the square shaped rock.

“Hey, dad!” she whispered faintly, leaning her elbow on her bent knee. “Sorry, I know it’s been so long since I came here…”

Clarke paused, wiping the troubling liquid that was wetting her pale cheeks, “I missed you…”

“It’s been really crazy lately. Still nothing really changed—well nothing than me having a boyfriend. His name is Bellamy…he’s…he’s—“Clarke chuckled bitterly, “—He’s really nice, you guys would’ve got along, he’s crazy about baseball too.” The blonde continued.

Clarke, sometimes, strongly wished her father could actually hear her stupid, random rambles.

It took Clarke and Bellamy two months after the incident until they went out on their second date, and then the third, and the fourth, and the many more after.

The man was nothing but sweet and understanding. Nothing but comforting and delicate.

One thing Bellamy wasn’t.

He wasn’t Lexa.

Clarke cringed at the disturbing thought. Clarke fought a battle against her own self every single day—a lost battle against the tormenting ache of wanting to comfort the lost brunette, to make sure she was alright.

Clarke fought everyday against the urge to crazily wander the cities in search for Lexa. She didn’t know why Lexa had to settle down inside her head for so long—Clarke still didn’t want to.

“Wh—what should I do, dad?...” Clarke desperately wandered, waiting for an answer she was well aware she wasn’t going to get.

The blonde slapped her palms on her thighs, steadying herself back on her feet.

“Anyway…gotta run back home, I—I love you…” Saying goodbye to Jake always broke her heart. It always felt like it was the first time; the wound always felt so fresh and sore. Clarke shook away the last tears leaking from her eyes; she chocked the numbing cry threatening to escape her throat and turned back on her heels with a blurred vision.

Before the blonde could reach the gate, something—someone caught her eye. On her right, a unmoving body lay on the ground, next to one of the many tombstones in the cemetery. The blonde contemplated whether she should walk to them, make sure they were fine.

Her instinct as a cop finally overshadowed her judgment. Clarke began taking careful, slow steps towards the stranger’s still motionless silhouette.

As soon as Clarke stood by their side, she knelt down behind the thin frame clothed within a wet, red bomber jacket; long brown curls covering their face and slumping on their shoulders—shoulders that rose and fell with steady, calming breath. The blonde pursed her lips, feeling an uneasy sense of empathy.

The young detective extended her hand, attempting to wake the poor girl up from her slumber.

“Hey…” Clarke whispered gently, slowly shaking the stranger’s shoulder, “Hey, wake up!”

But the girl didn’t stir from her stoic position, making Clarke reach the same hand to tug the exceptionally soft stands of curls away from her face.

As soon as the girl’s hair was tucked behind her right ear, Clarke gasped in tremor.  

_No way!_

_No!_

“ _Lexa…”_ Clarke finally whispered the familiar name into the chilling air.

Clarke suddenly felt _warm_. _Oh so, so warm._

 

 

*****

 

Bellamy was rinsing the last plate before he placed it back with the others.

“When are you guys finally gonna stop enslaving me?” The man said, walked from the kitchen into his living room, his eyes soon falling on Raven and Octavia messily sprawled on his favorite couch, legs tangled within each other as each one occupied a side of the fluffy material.

“Never!” Spoke Octavia, handing the bowl filled with popcorn to the Latina on the opposite side.

“The idea of enslaving men sounds so appealing, I have to say.” Added Raven, earning a displeasing glare from Bellamy, while Octavia extended her palm to collide it with the Latina’s.

“Is that what feminism is all about? Men hate?” Bellamy teased.

“Hey  now, don’t be an ignorant douche. Feminism and men hate are two different things…we support both!” Raven teased back with a sly, proud smirk.

Octavia and Bellamy broke into a fit of laughter, before settling their breaths to a slower pace. The trio fell into silence, watching a series that only Raven and Octavia were crazy about. Until Bellamy spoke again;

“Where’s Clarke?”

“You’re the boyfriend, you should know.” Octavia replied, rolling her eyes

“He’s so bad at this; I wonder how she hasn’t dumped your mushy ass yet.” Raven replied, pushing Bellamy’s buttons was always so fun.

“My ass is not mushy, it’s—“

“Ew, stop talking about your butt, no one cares!” Both girls cringed, “But to answer your question, she said she was going to the cemetery.” Raven finished.

Bellamy nodded understandably, “Jake…” He whispered.

“Yeah…it’s been a really long time since she went to visit.”

“They were really close, from what I’ve been told!” Bellamy started, “Jaha talked to me about him once. Clarke never did, though” the older man mumbled, his eyes falling to his lap.

Nine months of dating Clarke and he and the blonde still never talked about anything too deep or too intimate. He didn’t know why Clarke still holds such solid and high walls covering her heart and mind.

The blonde always seemed distant and quiet.

“Don’t push it, Bell. She’ll talk about it when she feels like it.” Octavia warned but reassured her troubled brother.

“Yeah…I know.” Bellamy replied, defeated, finishing with a sigh.

 

 

*****

 

“L-Lexa! Hey…wake up!” Clarke’s trembling arms reached under the brunette’s head, tugging it tightly against her chest. “Hey…please, come on!” the blonde’s right hand flattened on one of Lexa’s muddy, wet and pale cheeks.

What were the chances? Really, what were the chances that Clarke was ever going to see Lexa again?

Still—here she was, on her knees, holding Lexa in her arms.

“Please…wake up!” Clarke couldn’t help but to gently run her cold thumb on the pale skin, starting with a shrill cheekbone, her finger soon diving down, soothing the sharp jaw. Lexa’s face looked worryingly thin, Clarke noted.

“ _Lexa…”_ Clarke softly whispered again, and again; her eyes drifting to the half empty bottle of vodka sitting in Lexa’s lap.

“Why are you doing this to yourself? … _Why?_ ” Clarke sighed before her eyes traveled towards the stone in front of them.

_Anya Rutherford_

_March 3 d 1985 – April 18th 2016_

_“Death is not the end”_

Clarke read the words graved on the grey rock.

Clarke gapped at the sight, but her eyes soon fell back to Lexa’s face. The brunette’s heavy eyelids started to fall open. The blonde’s ragged breath soothed and she sighed happily, letting a lively, perky smile plant itself on her quivering lips.

Pale blue was soon captured by a fading green, and everything came gushing back inside Clarke’s chest—inside her stomach, within her heart.

Clarke suddenly relived every past moment—every single meeting with Lexa, every single feeling came crushing back and Clarke’s insides painfully hauled and wrenched and tugged.

Clarke forgot for how long she longed for those gloomy eyes to bore into hers once again. Clarke was overwhelmed—because this wasn’t supposed to happen. She shouldn’t feel this way.

Being this close to Lexa again felt… _surreal_.  

Lexa’s dry lips parted, fighting to breathe through her taut lungs; her scarcely green orbs slowly dancing around and scanning the blonde’s features.

“Hi…” Clarke breathed her knuckles still drawing soft and calming circles on the brunette’s cheek; she didn’t know when exactly her eyes filled themselves with tears.

“Y-you…wh—what…” Lexa whispered, trying to move away from Clarke’s tight embrace, but failing when Clarke held her limp body even tighter.

“No! D-don’t move, please…stay.” _I finally found you. I can’t lose you._ Clarke’s thoughts muddled and confused; her tongue tied and wary and desperate to utter the words. But Clarke remembered.

Lexa was never hers to lose.

Lexa didn’t fight her—or couldn’t; Clarke didn’t care for the reason, as long as Lexa was still there, Clarke couldn’t bring herself to give a damn about anything else.

“Come on! Let’s get you up.” Clarke pulled her trembling hand away from Lexa’s face and wiped her own, holding the brunette’s thin waist and helping her up on her feet and then threw Lexa’s arm around her shoulder to support her weigh before she started moving forward, towards her car.

After a couple of steps, Lexa winced and gripped at Clarke’s shirt to steady her stance, burying her face against the blonde’s heaving chest.

Clarke’s heart thumped painfully under the cages of her ribs at the sight. Lexa looked so weak. She almost looked unfamiliar, almost. But the blonde didn’t think twice before slipping an arm behind Lexa’s knees, finding it surprisingly easy as she swept the girl’s wobbly fee off the ground, still in her arms.

“W-why did you do…th-that?” Lexa whispered with batted breaths, her face still deep within Clarke’s chest, muffling her stuttering words.

The blonde looked down at her face again, and it hurt. Looking at Lexa hurt.

“You obviously can’t walk, so…” Clarke trailed off.

“Where…are y—you taking m-me?” The brunette breathlessly spoke again.

“Somewhere else…somewhere safe.” _Don’t be scared._ The blonde wanted to reassure Lexa’s silent thoughts. If Lexa thought Clarke was taking her to the police, then she was wrong. _So, so fucking wrong._

Clarke walked slowly with Lexa tucked snugly in her arms until she reached her car. The young detective struggled to open the passenger door, but eventually succeeded in doing so, laying the brunette’s weightless silhouette in the passenger seat, leaning the seat back to give her more room to lie down on her back.  

The blonde quickly rounded the vehicle and stepped inside, roaring back to life and driving them to her place.

 

 

*****

 

It was almost 11 PM and Bellamy still hasn’t received a single call from Clarke. The man was nervously pacing through the empty space of his living room. Gripping his phone in his hand, Bellamy finally decided that he should call his girlfriend—just to make sure she was alright.

“ _B-Bellamy, hi!”_ The unmistakably wary voice of Clarke replied, making the worried man let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Hi! I just called to make sure you were fine. You haven’t called me all day.” Bellamy started; he didn’t know why he just explained himself to Clarke. She was his girlfriend, he didn’t have to.

 _“Sorry, y-yeah…I was a little busy.”_ The man heard.

“You home?” The older man wondered, “I can come over for a movie or someth—“

“ _No! I—I mean…I’m tired, I was just getting ready for bed.”_ The blonde suddenly cut him off.

Bellamy paused, confused and disappointed.

“Okay…well, see you tomorrow then?” He couldn’t help but ask. A pregnant pause deafened his ears, until Bellamy heard something on the background of the other side of the phone.

“Is that a honk?”

“ _Yeah! Window’s open! You know Boston gets louder during the night.”_ Clarke breathlessly explained. _“Listen! Gotta go, talk to you tomorrow, goodnight!”_ The blonde quickly added before she abruptly hung up on Bellamy.

 _What was her problem?_ Bellamy obliviously wondered.

 

*****

 

To say Clarke felt bad was clearly an understatement. She felt awful—disgusting, even.

She threw her phone inside the right pocket of her long, black jacket and drifted her gaze towards the girl still lying unconscious on the seat right beside her. Clarke sighed at the painful sight.

She soon stepped out of the vehicle, walking to the passenger door, and once the door was open, her hand reached for one of Lexa’s. _So cold, her hand is so cold._ Clarke wordlessly noted, soothing gentle caresses against the girl’s knuckles.

“Lexa, wake up. We’re here!” Clarke said, shaking Lexa’s shoulder with her other hand and watching as the brunette’s eyes started to stir open, exposing her green orbs that gained a paler shade.

“Where…wh-where are w-we?” The brunette dozily wheezed.

Clarke couldn’t help but smile at Lexa’s tone. The brunette looked startlingly adorable, though still in a horrible drunken state.

“My place. Let’s go, come on.” Clarke encouraged Lexa into a sitting position before dragging the brunette’s feet out of the car and into the ground, helping her up and supporting her body by tucking a strong arm around her waist.

 

Clarke struggled to open the door to her apartment with Lexa body heavily leaning against her. As soon as the keys clicked inside, Clarke quickly turned the nob, kicking the door with her booted foot and slowly pulling herself and Lexa inside.

She kicked the wooden door closed with the heel of her boot before slowly and carefully dragging the younger brunette inside her room. Clarke walked them to her made bed, she pulled the white sheets covering the soft material and gently settled Lexa on it.

Clarke sighed pleasantly and watched as Lexa’s back collided against the bed. The brunette groaned and Clarke internally cooed. _How endearing,_ the blonde thought, before kneeling down on her knees in front of Lexa’s dangling legs and started to tug off her heavy combat boots.

And Clarke gapped.

If Clarke thought she was endeared by a simple croaky groan, she wasn’t sure how to describe her feelings now.

Lexa was wearing socks—well not just any socks; there were numerous little, red squids painted on the soft material.

Clarke just smiled.

“If you say anything about my socks, I swear…” The blonde heard the muffled sound of Lexa’s voice finally speaking.

Clarke stood back up, holding Lexa’s ankles in her hands and laid them on her bed. The blonde froze as she heard Lexa humming pleasantly at the soft touch, sending Clarke’s already rapid heartbeats into frenzy paced ones.

“My feet hurt…” Lexa whined, whispering and Clarke’s heart couldn’t beat any faster. Clarke silently lifted the brunette’s heavy legs and sat down on the edge of her bed, settling them on her lap before moving her hand until it was holding Lexa’s ankle, massaging the taut muscles gently.

“ _Hum…_ ” Lexa hummed again, earning Clarke’s undivided attention.

They fell silent, Clarke still working her fingers tenderly on Lexa’s aching muscles, until Lexa spoke again.

“Anya used to do that too.”

The blonde’s head swiftly turned to face the brunette who was peacefully lying on the bed. Her heart ached.

“Used to do what?” Clarke quietly whispered the question.

Lexa sighed, “Massage my ankles…She used to do it after every mission.” The brunette explained, “feels nice…don’t stop.” Lexa demanded.

Clarke’s heart sunk to the pit of her stomach. “I wasn’t going to.” She replied.

More minutes have passed and Lexa’s breathing soothed. Her chest rising and sinking with each breath she took. Clarke let go of the brunette’s legs and got up on her feet, sitting them back on the bed.

The blonde soared her upper body over Lexa’s sleeping one to reach the covers tucked on the other side and dragging them along to cover the brunette.

Clarke kneeled again, facing the dozed girl. Her forearms lying beside Lexa’s head; her fingers inched and urged forward, drawing small patterns on the girl’s peaceful features.

The blonde soothed the thick stands of Lexa’s eyebrows, dragging her fingers along the soft skin of her now rosy cheek. _She’s warm_ , Clarke noticed—felt. Her blue eyes scanning the delicate curves of Lexa’s prominent cheekbones and parted lips.

 _“_ You’re so stupid, Lexa…so stupid.” Clarke said. _Oh, but so beautiful._

 _How can someone as dangerous be so beautiful?_ Clarke wondered before she stood back on her feet and walked outside her room—not before granting Lexa a last glance.        

 

 

   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clexa fluff! I'm dead!  
> Your opinion matters, please comment on this chapter. I don't know if it's satisfying or just...crappy?  
> love you all xoxo


	16. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A filler chapter with more Clexa cause the next ones are gonna be charged with some outer space action shit.

“Why the fuck did you think that making Emerson confess to being the Commander was a freaking good idea?” Roan growled, storming inside his mother’s office without permission.

“Good morning, Roan.” Nia greeted with a sarcastic tone, her back still facing her son.

“We were so close, mother! She was going to rot in jail forever!” The younger man walked towards the desk, demanding his mother’s attention.

“Also, how did you get him to agree to this?” Roan added.

Nia finally turned around, taking a sea on her leather chair and crossed her arms against her ribs with a loud sigh;

“Let’s just say that we promised his family would be _…alive,_ if he agreed to our deal.” The older woman explained.

“I should have expected such an offer.” Roan took a seat facing his mother, laying his elbow on the wooden furniture. “But Woods is still not locked up; we haven’t gotten rid of her. She’s out there, probably planning to take your ass! Your actions defy your purpose, mother!” He finished.

“First, locking her up was never my purpose, Roan—secondly, she’s possibly doing everything but to plan her next move; she’s probably dying somewhere, _slowly_.” The older woman explained again, watching as her son’s face fell into a confused feature.

“Then what are you doing? This has taken so long, mother! She’s still here, she’s going to—“

“I wanted her _dead_! I wanted her to die, and they failed.” Nia cut him off, growling every word through gritted teeth.

“Why—why would you want that?”

Nia sighed; her face fell into a stoic, cold stance once again.

“Her father killed your own brother! How could you forget something like that?” Nia spoke quietly this time.

“Only because you sent him there  to kill him first!” Roan couldn’t fight the menacing tone that dripped over his words.

The older woman was quiet for a few seconds, deciding on her next words. Until she spoke again;

“Frankly, I don’t care. I just want them all to suffer…every single one of them!” Nia admitted.

They fell back within a buzzing silence once more; Roan’s face painted with a shocked expression and disbelief. Until the younger man let out a bitter laugh, making Nia’s brows furrow in confusion at the sudden, unexpected action.

“I can’t believe this! You—you’re fucking _crazy_ …” He then whispered.

“Roan—“

“No! Listen! You’re fucking crazy if you think you were the only one that has been hurting ever since! You’re insane if you’d think killing Lexa would bring you or any of us any peace of mind. You’re doing nothing but to put all our lives on stake, and for what? _Revenge_?”

Nia fell silent at the sudden outburst.

“Maybe you’re right, maybe I shouldn’t have wanted to kill Lexa.” The older woman said, her gaze still holding Roan’s. “Maybe I should just kill everyone she ever cared about, and let her live, alone, with the thought of her being the one to blame for their deaths…”

Roan gapped at the statement, at the harsh, freezing tone that spilled over his mother’s words.

“You’re unbelievable! You’re a fucking monster. Tell me mother—do you feel that way too? That you’re the only one to blame for Jackson’s death? Huh?” 

“Get out!” Nia growled, pointing to the door.

“Hell I will. I’m out, I can’t do this! I can’t spend the rest of my days pondering on what happened in the past, I can’t walk the streets scared and terrified that there could be someone, anyone who’s there to kill me or hurt me and my sister for nothing but your despicable actions! I’m done!”

Roan jolted up from his seat and started pacing towards the exit, “Roan! Wait!” But Roan didn’t. He walked out the door and also out of his mother’s life. _He was free_.

 

*****

 

_Lexa’s head lay on Anya’s stomach, her green eyes wandering the clean, dark blue sky. It was another quiet night spent in Anya’s company; they took a habit of sleeping on the roof of the mansion, enjoying the silence and the peaceful view._

_“Sometimes I wish this could last for a little longer than a few days.” Anya spoke first, earning Lexa’s attention._

_“What do you mean?” Lexa asked, her eyes still fixed on the clear sky above them._

_“This! The peace, the normality—you and I just enjoying the view and a cold bottle of beer.”_

_The younger brunette nodded understandably. Lexa would be lying if she thought she didn’t want the same things—she too needed these moments of ease, of happiness. Though most people thought happiness had to be permanent, Lexa thought it’s temporary, and it was._

_Happiness wasn’t something you find waiting for you at the end of the tunnel; happiness was shaped in different forms, Lexa felt happy whenever she was in Anya’s company, or when she woke up in the morning and sipped at the warm cup of coffee tucked between her fingers, or when she was reading her favourite book, or when she took a hot shower and her muscles relaxed to the warm feeling enveloping her senses—so yes, Happiness was everywhere. Happiness was in the shape of those little things that people mostly don’t pay much attention to._

_“We can’t.” Lexa said quietly._

_“I know.” Anya agreed. “I know.” She repeated, looking down at the brunette peacefully lying on her stomach, a smile faintly dancing its way to her lips._

 

“Anya!” Lexa’s body jolted up, away from the pillow. The bitter drops of sweat tickling their way down her back and neck. Her eyes soon wandered around the unfamiliar space. This wasn’t her room, this wasn’t her bed. _Where the fuck—_

Her unspoken question was swallowed back inside her throat once the brunette heard the unmistakable sound of music softly playing from somewhere out of the room she woke up in. The young woman didn’t even remember falling asleep. Her wary gaze travelled around her surroundings, until it fell on the framed pictures sitting on a desk facing the window.

As soon as Lexa forced herself to move, a sharp tug invaded her temples and she winced at the white numbing pain, before she moved her legs out of the bed and forced herself to stand on her feet, her knuckles weightily pinching the bridge of her nose.

The brunette slowly strode to the desk sitting in the corner of the room, hoping to get a closer look. As soon as she stood barely a foot away, her green eyes widened, she reached her hand and traced her fingers on the glassy surface of its frame—there stood a crumbled picture of a smaller version of the blonde, held between an older man’s arms, both looked peacefully sleeping.

Then it hit her—everything that happened last night came crashing like waves down the far back of her mind. _Clarke_ , this must be the detective’s place. But how did Clarke know Lexa was at the cemetery.

“That’s my father, his name was Jake…” Lexa’s hand flew back to her side and her body flinched at the sound of the intrusive voice, signalling the blonde’s presence.

The brunette turned around to face the woman—who Lexa soon found out she was in nothing but an oversized white shirt. Her mouth dried and seemed to open in order to say something, anything. But she couldn’t—not when she heard a very specific word that changed every single one of her intentions. ‘ _Was_ ’.

“I made us some coffee.” Clarke finally spoke again, gesturing towards the door. Lexa’s eyes squinted at the sudden display of niceness.

“Don’t be scared, no one knows you’re here.” Clarke answered the brunette’s unspoken question.

“Why am I even here?” Lexa’s cold tone found surface again, desperately trying to overshadow the empathy she was now feeling for the woman slowly walking to her side.

“I found you unconscious at the cemetery this evening.” The blonde replied, her fingers playing with the framed picture, and her eyes still not meeting Lexa’s.

“And _you_ , a cop, thought that bringing me here—to your house, was a good idea?”  

“I see you’re still finding it hard to say thank you.” Clarke bit back, her gaze finally meeting the brunette’s.

“Say thank you? For what, exactly? For killing the one person I had left?” Lexa growled bitterly, taking a step forward and backing Clarke against her own desk. “Or perhaps, for trying to get into my pants and use me for whatever information you could get?” the brunette whispered, their faces as close as a breath away, eyes boring into one another, none of them daring to look away.

Clarke’s white, bloodless knuckles gripped at the edge of the desk as Lexa’s body pressed further into hers.

The room was suddenly drowned in silence, no other noise but the ragged breaths heavily slipping through their lips and noses.

“Is that what you wanted, _Clarke_?” Lexa finally broke the heavy silence, both her hands moving forward and gripping the blonde’s waist strongly between her fingers. Their bodies couldn’t get any closer.

“Did you want me to take you home? So you could _fuck me u_ ntil I felt comfortable enough to tell you who I really was?” Lexa continued, her hand moving to the blonde’s lower back and her fingers clutching tightly to the soft shirt.

Lexa moved her head forward, her face buried against Clarke’s tightened jaw, her lips a breath away from her ear; “Tell me…was it funny to you—that I was almost nothing but a cheap ring circled around your finger?” Lexa whispered quietly, her hand moving to Clarke’s loose golden hair, tugging it to the side and dropping it on one shoulder.

Lexa tried to ignore all the sharp intakes of breath Clarke was taking, all the shivers dancing around her neck, and the softness of her hair.

“Was it that fun to play me? To let me _touch_ you like that—like I am doing right now?” Lexa breathed the words into Clarke’s neck, her plump lips brushing against the hot skin, surprised as to why Clarke wasn’t moving yet—why the blonde didn’t make any move to fight Lexa, to push her away.

But what Clarke did next, was not at all what Lexa could have ever imagined the blonde would do—because suddenly, the brunette felt tender arms sneak around her thin waist, slowly tightening around her body.

Clarke brought her into a choking, needy embrace, and buried her face in the crook of Lexa’s neck. The brunette felt a sharp inhale on her still humid skin, followed by a soft sound of sniffing. _Is she crying_?

 Her body almost collapsed to the ground if it wasn’t for Clarke’s death grip.

They were still pressed, chest to chest, hip to hip—they almost felt like one.

Lexa’s heart suddenly felt warm and high in her chest and tingly. She felt so little—like a baby. She felt like she wanted—no, like she needed to stay tucked and curled and cosied and chocolated forever in Clarke’s arms.

The erratic beating of Clarke’s heart against her own calmed down her presence. The shock of holding her caused Lexa to feel that her arms had been always empty before this very moment. It wasn’t like she couldn’t feel her sorrows anymore; it was as if they were never there. 

Clarke clung harder, making the warm affection reach clean to Lexa’s bones. And Lexa felt like she needed this—like she wanted it. As simply and clearly as one needed food and oxygen and light; Lexa needed this.

The brunette didn’t know what to do with herself anymore; every muscle refused to move and Clarke’s tears wetting her shoulder did not help at all.  

“I—I never meant for it to go that…far, I just…I just—“ Clarke finally spoke through the silence, every one of her words choked by the soft cries hitting Lexa’s shoulder.

“You just what? _Clarke_?” Lexa forced the words out, making no attempt to disconnect from the warm, comforting embrace; “What were you thinking?” the brunette asked.

“I…I—I’m sorry. For everything…I’m so…“Clarke paused.  Lexa’s mind took an abrupt stop.

Everything inside it seized to function at the sudden confession, at how genuine and honest those words sounded. 

She felt as the blonde tilted her head down and shook it, still breathing heavily against her, and obviously trying to clear her thoughts, to think of a proper reply.

And Lexa waited—she gave her time, she didn’t want to pressure the other girl to answer her question, although Lexa’s insides were uncomfortably itching with curiosity. She really wanted to know—she wished she could read the blonde’s mind, just for a brief second.

“I guess…I wasn’t. I mean that I—“ Clarke spoke, cutting off the brunette’s muddy thoughts. “—that, I wasn’t thinking when—when…” Lexa just stood there, eyeing the wall.

Clarke buried her face further and held her harder and harder, as if trying to hide her own frame behind the darkness of her eyelids and within Lexa’s skin. Lexa thought Clarke just wished to be invisible, that Clarke was… _scared_.

The thought of the blonde being scared of her forced a quiet gasp to escape her lungs.

“Anyway, it doesn’t matter now. I’ll just…go home.” Lexa finally reached her hands behind her back and unclasped Clarke’s, driving them to fall to her sides, and turned around to walk away from the blonde, but before the brunette could take another step forward, she felt a strong and tight clutch on her wrist, immediately halting her movements. 

Clarke’s fingers enveloped her hand and turned her back to face her again.

“ _Stay_.” The blonde’s words came out dripping as a hushed whisper—its waves seemed to be vibrating and echo inside Lexa’s chest from their heavy weigh.

“I mean—you’re probably still tired, I can’t just let you go.” Clarke stuttered, “Besides, you don’t need to hide anymore…it’s over, I don’t know why or how it happened, but Emerson confessed to being the Commander like…a few days ago.” the blonde paused again, before she continued, her fingers still circling the brunette’s wrist.

“He’s in jail now. You’re safe.” 

Lexa’s mouth hung open at the new revelation. Why would Emerson do such thing? Still Lexa was smarter than to let herself believe this was a good thing—that Emerson had good intentions. There was another person behind this, and they were probably planning for something.

Lexa slowly reached her free hand and traced it over Clarke’s. The touch soothing the blonde’s muscles, and her grip gradually got softer and gentler. So Lexa moved her fingers with purpose—she dipped her own knuckles under Clarke’s and tugged the blonde’s hand away from hers.

“Trust me, Clarke. I am anything but safe…” Lexa muttered softly, “I—If I had a choice…I…I would rather be anything but _alive_.” 

Clarke blinked once. Just once, and Lexa was suddenly nowhere to be. Her wet, earthy scent lingered behind. Her presence still stood there.

_If only Lexa had known._

If only she had known that her presence had always lingered around Clarke, even before she was there at all.

 

 

*****

 

“Find her!” Kane screamed at the dozen men standing before him. “I don’t give a flying fuck how you do it! I want you to go out there and find her and bring her home, right now!” The men didn’t need to be told twice. As soon as Kane uttered his order, they all stormed away from him and into their black SUVs waiting outside the gate.

“I’ll go with them!” The older man heard Lincoln speak from behind, and turned around to see the younger man walking out of their house.

“No. You go to her apartment, maybe she’ll be there, and God only knows if she’s doing fine on her own.” Kane said while he slowly walked towards the door.

“Marcus!” Lincoln called, halting the other man’s movement. “I—I kind of wanted to talk to you for a second.”

“Can’t it wait?” Kane replied, watching as Lincoln shook his head. “Okay, let’s go to my office.”

 

*****

 

“Clarke hasn’t called yet. She hasn’t even been answering any of my calls!” Bellamy said, shifting his body uncomfortably on the couch he was sharing with Raven.

“Don’t think too much of it. She probably wants to be alone.” Raven started, holding the remote on one hand and a cup of coffee in the other, “Give her some space, Bell!” the Latina finished.

“I just wanna be there for her…I’m her boyfriend, I should be there for her in days like these.”

Raven sighed.

“I get it. I do. Clarke hasn’t been herself for a while now, it’s why she needed this break in the first place, and if that’s what she seeks; then you have to let her have it.”

“I—I just…I _love_ her…” Bellamy started, his eyes falling to his lap, “And I don’t think she’s ready—I don’t think she ever was.” The man finished.

Raven couldn’t help but to extend a gentle hand to wrap itself around Bellamy’s, offering some kind of unspoken comfort and support.

“Do you think she could ever love me back?” Bellamy suddenly asked, letting out a soft chuckle in an attempt to choke and gulp a cry.

“You know I can’t answer that, only Clarke can. But we all know and see how much she cares for you…give her time.” Raven tried to assure her friend, “I think you should grab some breakfast and go be the adorable, supportive boyfriend that you are.”

“You think?”

“Duh!”

“Alright!” Bellamy’s eyes beamed with hope and excitement, and Raven didn’t know how long it took him to get out of there, because the second she looked away, Bellamy was already out of her sight.

 

*****

 

“So what did you want to talk about?” Kane asked while he plopped his body on the desk chair, motioning for Lincoln to do the same.

Lincoln gulped.

“I was thinking…that—that…” the man paused, shaking his head.

“That…” Kane encouraged.

“That maybe, you know, since we have nothing to fear of anymore…maybe I should just take a break? From all of this, like just go somewhere…I don’t know.” Lincoln stuttered, anticipating Kane’s reaction.

“Lincoln, I understand. But you, of all people should understand too; we’re not here for ourselves, we’re also here for Lexa—for Aden too. We can’t just run away from this, we just stay…we fight.”

Lincoln’s eyes filled with tears, bitter and hot against his raw cheeks.

“I…I can’t. I can’t do this anymore, not alone…not without _her_.”

“But you’re not alone!”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I feel like I am.” The younger man shouted, his vision blurred and dampened. “I need some time away, I need to think—to heal, so do you, and Lexa!”

“I can’t force you to stay.” Kane replied, shaking his head, “I can only ask of you one single thing.” He finished.

Lincoln reached a trembling hand up to his face and wiped a few tears before asking, “What is it?”

The older man leaned back into his chair and turned around to face the wall.

“Just make sure you come back.” Kane whispered, “You’re dismissed.”

 

*****

 

Clarke’s heart beat never slowed even though Lexa was no longer there.

She was lying on her bed, the sheets and covers all still drowned in the brunette’s scent. The blonde didn’t know what possessed her into hugging Lexa. It wasn’t the reaction she thought she could have to the bitter words that the brunette was so gently whispering on her skin—but it still felt like it was the right thing to do.

The sweet gesture seemed to fulfil all Clarke’s dreams—the longing for a simple innocent touch, in that moment, everything was suspended—time, air, light; nothing was exhausted, nothing was even wanted or needed, all her desires were fulfilled.

As soon as Clarke put her arms around Lexa, she knew…she just knew she made the right choice. She knew she held the world in her arms.

A loud knock on the door brought Clarke down from her haze, making her jolt her numb body out of her bed and walk towards the door.

As soon as the door flung open, Clarke was face with a large paper bag shoved in her face.

“Good morning, baby!” Bellamy. Clarke almost forgot he even existed.

“G-Good morning.” The blonde stuttered as her boyfriend stepped inside the dark space and landed a sloppy, wet kiss on her right cheek and walked straight to the kitchen.

“What brought you here so early in the morning?” Clarke asked, walking behind her boyfriend and standing by his side.

Bellamy turned around to face the blonde and circled her waist with his strong arms, bringing her closer against him.

“Early? It’s 10 in the morning!” He said with a bright, toothy grin, leaning his head forward and planted a soft kiss to her parted lips.

“I-I lost track of time I guess. What did you get?” Clarke said, looking down at the paper bag siting on the kitchen counter.

“Donuts! You love these.” The older man replied, “Also some warm coffee, but I see that you don’t need it.” He continued, his gaze drifting to the empty and still dirty cup before them.

“Yeah, I woke up a little early.” Clarke moved away from Bellamy, eager to put some distance between them, the need for space and for a fresh breath overwhelming her.

She turned around to face the counter and started fumbling with the bag, pulling out the still warm donuts that lay inside. The blonde once again felt two arms sneak around her waist as Bellamy’s front crashed with her back. He dipped his face down and traced his chapped lips on her covered shoulder.

Clarke cringed, and felt guilty at the unexpected reaction.

“I missed you…” Bellamy admitted, his lips now dancing softly on her neck.

“I…I missed you too.” Clarke hesitated. She didn’t know why that sounded like a lie. “Gotta go change though. I’m seeing Mom today, for lunch.” The blonde quickly slipped from his hold and walked towards her room, not surprised when she heard the quick paced steps behind her, indicating that Bellamy was following her inside.

“So, I hear there’s a great movie tonight—Captin America Civil war…wanna go? I know how much you’re obsessed with Tony Stark!” Bellamy offered, leaning his shoulder against the door frame, and his eyes following Clarke’s movements.

“Well, I can’t possibly say no to that.” The blonde replied, walking to her closet and choosing a fitting outfit.

Bellamy smiled silently, before his gaze drifted to Clarke’s bed.

“Um…Clarke?” he called.

“Yes?” 

“Why do you have two phones?”

Clarke’s neck snapped when she abruptly turned around and her eyes took in the sight of another phone laying on her bed, while her own sat on the nightstand. _She left her phone_! Clarke’s eyes widened as she was hit with realization.

She flew back on top of her bed with such force she didn’t know she possessed, and tucked the phone inside a drawer.

“I…well…you see, I—“ Clarke nervously uttered, not sure what to say. Bellamy could never know about what happened last night, he would be devastated.

Her boyfriend still held his stance, his features contorted with confusion.

“A friend—yes, a friend slept over last night, she…she must’ve forgotten it, I don’t know, I’ll give it back soon.” Clarke lied. Again.

“What friend?”

“You don’t know her!”

“Alright, then. I’ll let you change, I’ll be outside so don’t take too long.” Bellamy warned, pointing a finger to the blonde, before walking away and closing the door behind him.

And Clarke finally sighed. Then she turned back and pulled the brunette’s phone back to her hands. She swiped the screen and watched come to life with a blinding light; the blonde was met with several missed calls and text messages and she decided that looking through them won’t be so bad. At least that was how she tried to convince herself.

**Kane (11.32 PM)**

**Lexa, where are you?**

**Kane (00.02 AM)**

**Come on! Don’t do this, we’re worried, just tell me where you are and I’ll send Lincoln to pick you up.**

**Kane (02.46 AM)**

**Are you at your apartment? Are you okay? Please, come back!”**

 

Clarke’s heart sunk at how worried Kane sounded in those text messages to the point she contemplated calling the man and tell him that Lexa was safe—but she knew she couldn’t.

One thing Clarke knew though.

She needed to go out and find Lexa.

Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking about giving a title to each chapter i wrote and am about to write, so what do you think about that?  
> Also, please tell me how you feel about this story in the comments and leave kudos in case you liked this chapter.  
> I love you all xoxo.  
> Also, clexa are soulmates lol bye.

**Author's Note:**

> Idk you guys if you like this as a start then pls reach me on my tumblr: fforever-alonee   
> Feel free to ask me anything on what to expect on this fic. Any suggestions are always welcomed.


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